Month: May 2025

I See God, Literally Now, and Figuratively, and He’s Still on Time

trE

The good news about the current status of my eyes has floored me.

Morning shenanigans at the Optometrist’s office. Photo Collage Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

To hear the words, “You have 20/20 vision,” and try to contain my emotion — keep my cool was a poor happenstance on my part. The emotion flowed out of me, and I am still overcome with it. I have keratoconus (as well as astigmatism in both eyes, and I am near-sighted), and I have been toggling between an Ophthalmologist/Corneal Specialist and an Optometrist (who specializes in corneal diseases) for four years. I have been wearing scleral contacts for three years… this, my third year, granted me 20/20 vision, something I had no immediate recognition of since I was about 12 years old.

It’s a blessing. It’s a wonder. It’s a miracle. I do not take it for granted, and I am thankful for everyone who has handled my vision care for the last four years. At this time, I do not have to have a procedure called Corneal Collagen Cross-linking to further assist with keratoconus, the contacts are doing — have been doing their job.

If I could properly describe what I am feeling right now, I would. But there are no words for it. NONE. I see God everywhere —literally now and figuratively, and He’s still on time.

To those of you who have been following my story about living with keratoconus since February of 2021, thank you for still being here. It’s been a long and tortuous journey, and I have had to make so many life changes to better enhance my vision, and I am so happy I did. I do not take any of it for granted, not one thing.

God is in the blessing business. I know because “he keeps on blessing me.” And just because this is one of my favorite gospel songs, I am sharing this version with you. Happy Thursday!

Jesus Can Work It Out

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.

Kintsugi’d Into Something Greater

trE
Kintsugi. AI-Generated Image
Kintsugi’d Into Something Greater via Substack Notes by Tremaine L. Loadholt

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.

a permanent safe space for the codependent

trE

the dog follows me
everywhere I turn.
there’s one entrance,
one exit. she thinks
her safe space is
on the brink of
busting through the
walls to leave her
behind.

I have nowhere to go
that will not include
her unless it’s her
spirit I plan to carry
when she’s long
gone.

perhaps that is
tomorrow, maybe
four months from
now, or it could be
a year later, but her
safe space is still
safely planted until
SHE is not.

I am kind of sticking to these daily blurbs of poetic thoughts via Substack notes. More than likely, I’ll keep sharing them here.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.

Something To Think About #13

trE

The US is the only home you know, yet you’re still treated like you don’t belong here . . .

Aaron Parnas via YouTube

And, you did NOT commit the crime of which you were originally accused.

Make It Make Sense!!!

I will share “Something To Think About” for the next three weeks on Sunday afternoons. It may be a quote, a picture, an interesting phrase I heard, artwork, etc. Whatever I share will surely be intriguing or involving enough to spark a casual discussion or in-depth conversation. Stay tuned every Sunday for this feature!

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.

hot flashes and spring

trE

humidity is hovering
in the still dark air,
and I’m hot-flashing
out of nowhere,
yearning for a cool down.

summer is peeking
through the soon-to-be intensely
hotter weeks, trying to
make an earlier
appearance, and
I just want to walk
without sweat
congregating between my legs.

it’s going to be
another year of
panting like the dog,
as the dog days
arrive before they’re
due.

I drummed up this piece yesterday morning via notes on Substack. These little creative snippets come to me every day, and I am grateful for them. They’re getting me through the go-through.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.

Monday As the Bad Guy on a Good Day

trE

Another Monday waltzes in uninvited,
and I greet it with an unapproving eye.
I have to be nice to it, though. It holds the fate
of my workweek in its hands.

Sighs yet another necessary evil
I have to shuffle through
in order to stay sane.

No one tells you how hot the
dumpster fire is until you’re
knee-deep in it, and the caps
have lost their cartilage.

The crush’s daughter has a
new puppy; a pitbull. She
sent me a photo of him
lying on the carpeted floor –
in deep sleep.

Instantly, I’m in love. It
shifted my Monday to a
new space – one I could
appreciate better. Ace is his
name. I joke about being a
great aunt.

It was the first day of my
co-worker’s absence, and I
hadn’t worked through her
not being there, but I would
now.

I realized the loneliness
later as hours ticked by and I
had to fill in the holes of
spaces that my supervisor sunk
herself in.

I am filler, and I am
placed everywhere.
And everywhere is coming
for me.

I wanted to play around with this piece that started off as a rant of sorts for my Substack notes. After putting a bit more of ME into it, the above-written work is the result.