My New Year’s Love and Me

A Prose Poem

Jernee Timid, my wild-haired little monster. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

My wild-haired love sits comfortably in our space. I stare at her — globes for eyes, a song for a heart . . . she gifts me life. I haven’t had to search for a love stronger than hers in thirteen years — a milestone.

No one can compete. No one can compare.

She is a constant reminder of all things good in this world, and I breathe fresher air when she is near.

The new year tiptoes into sight, carrying unknowns along beaten paths. I will bask in the peace that is the comfort of a lap dog’s patterned pants.

I am safe. I am free.

With family struck ill by an overgrown virus, my stomach is double-knotted as worry sinks itself into my veins. I am prayerful. I am hopeful. They will all survive.

But if death comes knocking again, I’ll plead with him to leave the babies alone. I may get my wish. I may not. But at least I’d state my case. At least he’ll know how I feel about his existence.

A day off from work to spend wisely with a four-legged gem who doesn’t need me to be anything more than I am is a present daring to be opened daily. I unwrap it knowing underneath its covering is and forever will be happiness . . .

And love.

And a look of captivation and admiration from an animal who doesn’t speak my language but understands everything I say.


*It is my hope and prayer each of you will be safe and connected in some way to family and love as you usher in a new year. May it be a happy and prosperous one. Peace and blessings.


Originally published in soliloque via Medium.

Saturday: The Beauty of Newness

now my nerves can settle,
my heart no longer flutters,
butterflies aren’t forming,
in my stomach and all is well.

today, I experienced hearty laughs,
a homecooked meal not prepared
by my hands, a casual walk around
a community park, and in-depth
conversations.

I watched my dog patrol my
best friend’s home searching for
her late friend.
we sighed. we teared up.
it’ll take time for this pain
to subside. I will not rush it.

Saturday gifted me with the
beauty of newness.
while safe in my cocoon before,
I slithered out to smell the
air of a different place, in the
comfort of living beings,
and I needed it.

mini staycation

first day off;
doctors appointments
(oral and orbits),
errands to run,
only to snake
myself back inside
where the hum
of a senior fur creature’s
breathing meets my
ears.


This is the first day of my five-day (weekend included) mini staycation. I’ve a dental and an opthalmologist’s appointment, a little bit of grocery shopping to get done, and a whole bunch of loving up on Jernee. Happy weekend, folks!

A Change of Plans

Living room view #1
Living room view #2
Living room view #3 & Jernee

After debating for the last week because my anxiety has been through the roof about this move, I’ve decided to stay at my current location. Thankfully, I recently received a raise from my job and our job is issuing significant bonuses in a few weeks and I still get my quarterly bonuses for meeting or exceeding my scheduling metrics. This takes a bit of the stress off of me financially, especially having received the raise.

I contacted my current apartment complex and thankfully, no one had leased my apartment. I renewed my lease and everything is back in order. I love my place. I love my neighborhood. I was sincerely dreading moving but without this most recent increase in income, I would have had to move.

Since I unpacked everything and got my place cleaned and back in order, I decided to rearrange my living room furniture. That’s why I’m sharing these pictures. I love the setup. It took Jernee the entire Tuesday morning and into mid-afternoon before she adjusted to the change. She is NOT a fan of change. Lol. I like it. I think I’ll leave it this way until we move in the future.

I still have a goal of moving to Asheville, North Carolina or very near to it in the next two to three years. I’m patient. I think I’m right where I need to be until it’s time for me not to be here anymore.