Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt

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“Everything I do is in remembrance of you.”

Photo Collage of Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

The moment I (and maybe you, too?) have been waiting for is finally here! Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is live, and can be purchased in both eBook ($11.00 USD) and Hardcover ($26.00 USD) formats via Lulu.com. The hardcover format has been approved for Global Distribution, but I have no earthly idea when Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other online retailers may pick it up for distribution. Amazon did not start distributing Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction until nearly a year later, so I am not approaching this with the mindset that they or any other major book retailer would move this book before that timeframe.

Many of us like to use the phrase, “My blood, sweat, and tears” went into creating this, but I can actually say this as a fact. I’ve cried. I’ve sweated. I’ve lost blood… all in the name of producing this book in honor of my sweet baby girl, whom I miss terribly. I hope… truly hope that I am making her proud.

A blurb about Scattered Words…

In Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt, the author wants you, the reader, to experience Jernee in totality and understand why she has lost the greatest companion she has ever known. If you have ever grieved the loss of a pet, many of these poems will not only resonate with you, they will set up holding spaces in your mind, crawl into your heart, and retreat only when they have been commanded to do so.

You will laugh, cry, nod in agreement, and reminisce about your furry family member(s) and how they have become your strength. Grief is not linear, and every creeping moment it decides to invade your heart, there is a poem in this book to greet it.

In Scattered Words…, Tremaine celebrated, lamented, grieved, loved, and released Jernee Timid Loadholt. Every day, she will probably do these things again—not necessarily in that order.

If you have never met a dog who had the uncanny ability to be more memorable than some of the people you know, with this book of poems, you will have your chance.

The Specs: What will you receive, and what should you expect when you purchase it?

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt includes 4 sections, 24 poems, and 9 original photos (digitally animated by Google Gemini). It is comprised of 40 pages, and shares the life and death of 1 dog who is no longer with us.

The photography is in color and cartoonized. The font is big enough for those of us with visual impairments and aging eyes to see. The cover is a hard one… I want this book to stand the test of time and any possible minor damage that could occur to it. It is 8.5 x 11, durable, engaging, and one you can share with your friends, family, children, grandchildren, and students.

Four months later, this is how I remember my love: introducing her to some and reminding others of who she had been to me.

I hope you will allow me to do that. I hope you can understand why I need to do it. I hope you will respect what she had been and who she still is to me. Thank you so much for your undying support. I appreciate all of you more than you can ever know.

Scattered Words: Hardcover $26.00 USD|Scattered Words: eBook $11.00 USD

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing, as I discuss recent events related to my previous place of employment, including racism and discrimination, the growth I experienced after resigning from that company, and the foibles and overall experiences of life. I welcome your visit.

How Do You Talk To God?

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A Book Review

When We Talk To God: Prayers & Poems for Black Women by Sharifa Stevens. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

You know the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”? So, I’m judging, but positively, though. When We Walk To God: Prayers & Poems for Black Women by Sharifa Stevens is the book I didn’t know I needed. The cover is a perfect gateway to phenomenal content.

This is a necessary book for Women of Color. How we talk to God is, as I’ve witnessed and experienced, extremely different from how other women talk to God. I connected with this book in a way that has brought me unmitigated peace and comfort, and I’m happy to express that.

Here’s the review I shared on Amazon and Goodreads:

Talking To God Is a Form of Art

At least, this is what I gleaned from the prayers, poems, and notes shared by the indomitable Sharifa Stevens.

There are books that sneak in when you weren’t expecting to be fulfilled or touched by spirits and there are books that pull you from dark places and remind you of your worth… “When We Talk To God: Prayers & Poems for Black Women” encompasses both of those descriptions.

There are pieces within this offering that read like sermons. Some feel like testimonies. And others swim across the page, reaching out at just the right moment to grab ahold of the reader and remind them that they are and will forever be God’s child.

I am a sinner, yet I love. I am a sinner, yet I feel. I am a sinner, yet I have solid friendships. I am a sinner… I am a sinner… I am a sinner… Yet, God will never stop loving me.

In the midst of the turmoil and chaos of this wretched world, I cracked open the spine of this gift and found solace.

“When We Talk To God…” offers hope, reflection, strength, encouragement, and the reality that I am not alone on this tedious journey of life, and I am blessed to be able to say that I read it.

And I will, without a doubt, read it again and again, and maybe a few more times for sustainability.

There’s a prayer in this book for you, Black woman. There’s a prayer in this book for you.

When I find a book that makes me feel good about myself and less alone, as well as hone in on biblical scriptures that can motivate, encourage, strengthen, and engage my mind, I am completely satisfied.

And, I am.

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook

Gianna, the Winter Storm Who’s Leaving Her Mark

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“Oh Lord… Purify me.”

Gianna, Winter Storm #1.
Gianna, Winter Storm #2.
Gianna, Winter Storm #3.
Gianna, Winter Storm #4.
Gianna, Winter Storm #5.
Gianna, Winter Storm #6.
Gianna, Winter Storm #7.
Gianna, Winter Storm #8.
Gianna, Winter Storm #9.
Gianna, Winter Storm #10.

I hadn’t played in the snow in about four or maybe five years. When Jernee was alive, she loved the snow. She would stick her tongue out and call flakes to her mouth. It made her happy to be in it.

Yesterday, I mourned her some more, but it was the cleansing and renewal that I needed.

We ended up getting 11 inches of snow here in Winston-Salem, North Carolina with Gianna. Our last snowfall that accumulated over 10 inches was December 09, 2018, Diego. He dumped 14 inches of snow in my area alone.

*All photos were taken by Tremaine L. Loadholt, on Saturday, January 31, 2026.

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook

Mythomania & What Was I Thinking?

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Two poems shared via Substack notes

Mythomania

Back when I didn’t
overthink things, I
loved a woman who
lied so much,
mythomania could
have been her
middle name.

We were never going
to make it.
I made up stories
for entertainment;
she made up stories
to cover her ass.

Eventually, one of us
was going to break,
and one of us did.

Baby Tre in a fighter pose. I have no clue who took this photo, perhaps one of the hospital nurses or a family member? April 17, 1980.

What Was I Thinking?

I must’ve known the
world would be a
battlefield.

At a few hours old,
I’d already prepared
myself to fight;
hands squared into
position of
protection.

What was I thinking
as I dreamed
alongside a mother
who pushed me into
being?

Could I have been
dreaming of ways to
right wrongs without
a working definition
of them?

Did I know about all
of the nastiness
dripping from the
hearts of men, and
how that coldness
would shift God’s
creations—morph
them into living
devils?

Many ages passed
me by, and now, I
find myself standing
atiptoe, waiting for
change that doesn’t
look like it’s going
to come.

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook

Jade’s Arcade: Video Games at the Mall

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Flash Fiction: A Wayne Donald & Kinley Chris Adventure

Photo by Element5 Digital on Pexels. The image depicts a glowing, lit sign that reads “Arcade” hung above the entrance to a hallway. At the other end of the hall, we see a doorway leading to a room with different arcade games.

“I gots $5.75″ to spend at the arcade, Kinely Chris. That ain’t enough for four hours’ worth of playing video games. What you got?”

Wayne Donald yells to her big sister as she’s scraping change from her piggy bank for their impending trip to the mall to explore Jade’s Arcade. The girls do not get out often. With their grandmother being the town’s declared homebody, their Uncle Henry has access to them every few weeks and allows them a trip or two upon those visits.

“I have ten dollars. Now, lemme just say this… You know as well as I do that Uncle Henry ain’t gon’ give us more than $5.00 a piece when he comes, so I’ll go on and give you two of my ten dollars, so you’ll have $12.75 once he’s done handin’ out money. I’ll have ’bout a dollar more’n ya, so we can split that last dollar later, before we leave. That sound all right t’ya, Wayne Donald?”

Wayne Donald is shaking up her piggy bank, trying to see if any more coins are dangling from side to side. The empty echo of nothingness signals to her that she has nothing left to spare. She looks in Kinley Chris’s direction and nods her approval before speaking.

“Thanks, Kinley. I sure do appreciate that. I know which games I’m gon’ play, too! Mrs. Pac-Man, Frogger, Skee-Ball, and Air Hockey. And if Uncle Henry’ll put me on his shoulders, I’ll play basketball, too!”

“Ya ain’t skilled enough to play Frogger, and you always bouncin’ the balls into other lanes with Skee-Ball. Stick to what ya’know, and that’s Mrs. Pac-Man and Air Hockey.”

Silence fills the room, and the younger sister nods her head in agreement, and tilts it to the left—she’s trying to gauge whether or not she should just stick to what she knows. More than likely, she’s going to do what she wants anyway. She coughs into her cupped hands and rebuts.

“Kinley Chris, I do believe I’m gon’ play what I said I’m gon’ play. If I don’t try, how will I learn?”

“Y’know what, Wayne Donald?! Ya got me there. Ya got me.”

Uncle Henry pulls up to their grandmother’s castle-like home, parks his truck in the driveway, and honks the horn twice. The girls skate down the stairs, yell their goodbyes to their grandmother, and bolt through the front door.

“HEY, UNCLE HENRY!” They shout in unison.

“Hey, girls. So, Jade’s Arcade, right? Should be just a few tykes there by the time we get to town. Y’all buckle up for safety. And here’s ya money.”

He leans slightly over the front seat of his truck and hands the girls a $5.00 bill apiece—crispy bills, too. The girls look at each other with huge smiles, slapping their faces.

“THANKS, UNCLE HENRY!” The hum of the truck presses into the cool air of the late morning. Uncle Henry turns his radio to 94.5, and the lovely sounds of electric jazz fill the truck. A smile slaps his face, too, and before the girls can say anything else, he says tenderly…

“Y’all welcome.”

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, and Part V.

This concludes the adventures of Wayne Donald and Kinley Chris. Thank you for joining me on their memorable journey!

This flash fiction piece is my offering for this week’s Melissa’s Fandango Flash Fiction Challenge. It is week #357. When I saw the image, the girls sprang into action, and the story above is what came to me.

Perhaps, you’ve got a story brewing within you, too, for this week’s image offering?

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook

Scattered Words Is Making Its Rounds

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A review by Candice Louisa Daquin of ThisKeptAche

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt

I am not one to push grief and loss onto anyone. Compiling poems for this book was cathartic for me. I needed to do this. It has been helpful for my grieving process and the appropriate mourning of a dog who meant the world to me. She was such a lifesaver for me; my calm, my peace. I am certain there will never be another like her.

To know that this work is not only helping me but also others in their grief is the icing on the cake of creativity. This work was not produced in vain. Candice Louisa Daquin, a long-time friend and fellow creator/writer, reviewed Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt, and what she said about it made me truly see that I have given the world some magic, even in my sadness.

A snippet of her review is below:

It says a lot about how much animals can impact lives, including the lives of those around us, who understand they are family and the loss is incalculable and akin to losing another human being. Jernee’s life will never be forgotten and this is where Scattered Words comes into its own. To say this is a eulogy isn’t sufficient. This is a testament to love. It is also filled with light and love, because Tremaine knows, Jernee is waiting for her and not far away.

From the first page where there is an image of Tremaine with Jernee, and it says, “hello rainbow bridge / treat my baby with kindness / she deserves it all” to the last image, which is more of a portrait of Jernee, there is grief and loss and love and hope all wound together in this brave and honest homage and reflection of a life well spent.

It isn’t fair that we only had 17 years with Jernee, but one thing I know is, every one of those years was filled with meaning and the bond between them, inseparable. I remember seeing the photos of Jernee after she died, and also leading up to it, and it opened wounds in me I had forgotten I had. This is not a bad thing, it is a necessary thing. We do feel. We have pain. To pretend otherwise is foolish. I like that about Tremaine, she is unflinching in her examination of what is real.

These poems were written after Jernee’s death and during her life. They are sometimes terribly sad, but for any pet-owner, animal-lover or really, person capable of understanding the bonds we forge, this is a book we wish we all had someone write about our life.

You can read the review in its entirety by visiting the original blog post for it.

As a writer who depends on emotions, it is encouraging to know I didn’t overshoot this one. I thank Candice for pointing that out, and for giving Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt such a remarkable review.

Scattered Words: Hardcover $26.00 USD|Scattered Words: eBook $11.00 USD

Please Be Safe Out There, Everyone.

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Winter Storm Fern did not come to play.

Winter Storm Fern, Angle 1. Tuesday, January 27, 2026.
Winter Storm Fern, Angle 2. Tuesday, January 27, 2026.
Winter Storm Fern, Angle 3. Tuesday, January 27, 2026.

There is something about the weather that’ll make you cower under confidence in less than a minute flat.

There’s snow, and then, there’s black ice. One can cripple a pathway before you, but you may be able to maneuver your way through it. The other can paralyze you; change you from your able-bodied self to someone you have to learn to know all over again.

When officials say, “Stay off the roads unless you absolutely have to be on them”, many of us should heed that plea.

It’s too cold here for DOT to begin treating the roads again. So, I’m seated under a heated blanket, sipping my coffee, and staring out the balcony door of my fourth (technically fifth) floor apartment.

I’d rather be on a plage in a tropical setting, rubbing my feet together under a beach-themed towel.

It is not lost on me how many people are without power, are currently on the street struggling to stay warm, or do not have employers who care about their well-being.

I am grateful that I can say this. I thank God that these words can leave my lips. Luxuries can be both big and small at the same time. I acknowledge that.

Stay safe and warm, yet thankful if you’re able to do these things.

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook