My New Year’s Love and Me

A Prose Poem

Jernee Timid, my wild-haired little monster. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

My wild-haired love sits comfortably in our space. I stare at her — globes for eyes, a song for a heart . . . she gifts me life. I haven’t had to search for a love stronger than hers in thirteen years — a milestone.

No one can compete. No one can compare.

She is a constant reminder of all things good in this world, and I breathe fresher air when she is near.

The new year tiptoes into sight, carrying unknowns along beaten paths. I will bask in the peace that is the comfort of a lap dog’s patterned pants.

I am safe. I am free.

With family struck ill by an overgrown virus, my stomach is double-knotted as worry sinks itself into my veins. I am prayerful. I am hopeful. They will all survive.

But if death comes knocking again, I’ll plead with him to leave the babies alone. I may get my wish. I may not. But at least I’d state my case. At least he’ll know how I feel about his existence.

A day off from work to spend wisely with a four-legged gem who doesn’t need me to be anything more than I am is a present daring to be opened daily. I unwrap it knowing underneath its covering is and forever will be happiness . . .

And love.

And a look of captivation and admiration from an animal who doesn’t speak my language but understands everything I say.


*It is my hope and prayer each of you will be safe and connected in some way to family and love as you usher in a new year. May it be a happy and prosperous one. Peace and blessings.


Originally published in soliloque via Medium.

Words I Won’t Forget

Christmas cards for 2021

Before I pack these precious words up and store them away, I wanted to share the gift that will keep on giving: the gift of expressiveness through words. Each card pulled a different feeling out of me, and I will cherish every single one of them.

I hope all of you have had the time to enjoy this holiday season and lean into “the little things” just a bit more. I know I have, and I am grateful.

Because It’s Still the Little Things . . .

Homemade Gingerbread Cookies. One is me, the other is my sweet friend, Heejin. I love that she got the skin/cookie tones right. She’s Korean & Jewish.

I will always say, “It’s the simple things” in life to cause me to become my happiest. My beautiful and incredibly talented friend Heejin included homemade Gingerbread cookies in our care package this year, and I nearly teared up when I pulled them out of their bubble-wrapped packaging. I immediately sent her a text message to make sure they were indeed edible and not for decorative purposes only . . . I mean, I don’t want to eat them, they’re so perfectly crafted. She informed me that yes, I could eat them, and not only were they edible, but they were also made in our likeness. One is her, the other is me. I informed her again that I truly didn’t want to eat them even more now after learning this fact.

I am in awe almost daily of her undeniable talent. She never ceases to amaze me. I often think “What can I do to top Heejin? How can I give her the best gift?” But she continually tells me, our friendship is the best gift I could ever give her. Having her in my life is surely icing on the cake.

If you’re blessed enough to know true friendship, hang on to it–embrace it at every turn. I’d choose it over any monetary or tangible gift any day.

It’s truly the best.


The Babies Are My Energy

It’s amazing how much of my brothers I see in their children. Joshua sent me the photo you see above of him and Sarai, and I instantly thought about how much my niece looks like my younger brother when he was a toddler. He was BAD. OMG! Joshua was such a handful. I am certain I had high blood pressure dealing with him while he was growing up. Lol. Thyrie looks so much like TJ when he was a baby. I think back to the days of him growing up and I get a little emotional. We’ve always been close. He’s the brother everyone says, “OMG, y’all look just alike” about, and I just nod and smile.

Me and TJ, about 5 years ago.

Their children are my energy. I push myself so that I’ll one day reconnect with all of them. I moved away from home when I was eighteen years old. Truth be told, I was running away from things I didn’t care for and wanted to be far away from, and I just kept running.

But receiving photos of the beautiful additions to my family’s bloodline and being so far away from them all gets to me sometimes. I am missing so much. I breathe in and dream of these little ones. I breathe out and ponder on their whereabouts and well-being.

When everything seems to be branding me with anger and pain, I think about them, and my energy is renewed.