unconditional 

To know the gift of unconditional love is to become one’s true self without fear. This is a milestone and my heart is happy.

My dad called last night. We had that talk about me being bisexual. I had wanted to be able to sit with him and discuss things in person, but according to him last night, he had something “weighing on his heart.” He just came out and asked me after prefacing it with how much he loves me and how he’d never stop, also stating that no matter who I am, I am his child first and his love for me will never change. 

Him being an Episcopalian preacher has no hierarchy over his love for his child. He also said that he’d known for years but didn’t know how to approach the subject, but he’s glad that I was open with him last night, that I shared myself at my full capacity. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, it was like a casual conversation. I’m grateful for that. I believe, this will open up new doors for us. Expressing how this makes me feel has no words. I don’t think they have even been invented yet.

We all have our skeletons. I am happy mine are out of the closet. 

This Is What I Have

Really, this is me most days after work and especially on the weekends. I’m pretty boring, but I’m me.

I cannot offer you fancy things, I am quite frugal and I budget accordingly, however, I do make it a point to buy quality items on sale, that will last long. I am all for quality over quantity.  I am soft-spoken, but outspoken. I am an introvert with extroverted tendencies. I love to read, write listen to music, and contemplate the beauty that is life with its sometimes ugly demeanor. I have a voice. I try to use it when speaking about issues dear to me and my community. I love LOVE, the gift of it, the ability to accept it and share it. 

I am not a difficult person but I can do difficult things well. I am a problem-solver, I love finding solutions. I majored in Psychology and I have a minor in Writing. My heart is in my mind and my mind is in my soul. I am all mixed up, but I am perfectly blended. I am a lover of women and of men, but can see myself settling down with a woman (marriage) before I would with a man. Being bisexual has its perks, however, downfalls hover as well. I don’t need anyone or anything that isn’t bringing me happiness. My days of allowing piranhas to attack and rid me of my skin are over. 

THIS IS A NEW DAY!

I don’t expect anything from you that you aren’t willing to give, so if you do not show me that you care, please do not be surprised when I bounce. I am not sticking around for people who lack the ability to become one with the term “reciprocity.” I respect my heart. You should too. I love order. I do not mind a little chaos, but I reserve the right to put my hand up when too much of it enters my realm. That is a surefire way to throw me off balance. I am an excellent cook, have been told that I am an incredible lover, and I treat every single day as an opportunity to learn, grow, and become a better person. 

This, of me, is what I have. If you need more, I may not be the one for you. And just like a new day dawning right after the old, that is okay. 

I will know when my person arrives, if my person arrives. He or she will have what I want and need and I will not have to go searching for pieces to add to him or her. He or she will already be whole. 

He or she will be perfect for me. 

Please, Don’t Shove Your Hatred Into God’s Mouth

 

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I have this tattooed on my arm to remind me that I am here to love all people no matter what. That is my goal. That is what God wants from me, of me. This is what God wants from all of us–for us to love one another. PERIOD.

It pains me that I am here before you now, sharing yet another piece by a great, solid, empowering Writer by the name of James Finn via Medium. Not only is this wonderful man an advocate for the LGBTQ community, but he also lives and breathes the work that he shares–this is his life. It has become mine too. What I am going to share with you is appalling, graphic in nature, and displays that this world is still hellbent on hate yet calling it God’s love. How? How can one fix one’s mouth and refer to any acts of hate, fear-mongering, and total disdain for the differences in others God’s love?

I will remind you, it is not.

His post, Conversations with a Homophobe is catching fire via Medium (as it should), and it details his conversation with a follower on Twitter who is Catholic and from what I can ascertain, firmly believes that heinous acts against those of the LGBTQ community are well-warranted and righteous performances of what God expects. According to him, we are to be weeded from the garden, cast out, dwindled down in lesser numbers, and all with God’s approval from the Catholic church. I will be the first to tell you of my upbringing– a Southern (based on region) Baptist from a family that was and is devout in Christianity. For thirty years, I trapped myself, kept myself in the closet, knowing full well of who I was well before I knew the term, the label, the explanation of how God crafted me to be. Yes, GOD made me, so he knew who I was before I became this flower of a person, this person who I love so much more now knowing that I am finally free in my own skin.

Being gay, a lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, queer, etc is STILL BEING HUMAN. Where is humanity? Reading Jim’s article, it goes on to explain the reason for his post on Twitter was to bring attention to that of a young man who had been hacked, sliced & diced with  machetes because he is gay and followers of the Roman Catholicism branch of faith took it upon themselves to make an example of this young man. He will probably die.

The young man was attacked because people found out he’s gay. He says they screamed at him about God and sin as they butchered him. They’re all faithful Catholics. They believe what their Church teaches about gay men being evil and depraved. They acted on that belief.”

From the Catholic Catechism:

“Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.”

Hmm. “Christian perfection.” No one is perfect, but God. We will always be flawed, and if we attempt any such advancements toward perfectionism, something we cannot obtain, we will be further reminded of our humanness–of our flaws. I love my faith. I love being a follower of Christ. I love God. What I do not stand for, what I do not love, is hatred toward any human being made by the hands of God. I do not care about the source, the whys, the hows, the whats–I do not stand for it. If you are a child of God, if you call yourself a follower of Christ, in any branch of the religious world, you are to love others as you love yourself and you are to do so according to the word of God.

GOD IS LOVE.

Please… Please stop shoving your hatred into God’s mouth. He doesn’t speak hate. He never has. He never will. Jim has asked that his article Conversations with a Homophobe be shared to all social media outlets. Facebook has deleted his posts. Twitter has done the same. Why? Because he is speaking against a major religious figurehead and for some reason, around the globe, but especially in the US, we are not to point fingers at those who believe they are on some sort of pious pedestal. I don’t mind pointing fingers, especially if you are wrong. Especially if it hurts people. And most especially, if it kills them. I am not on Facebook. I do not have Twitter. Soon, I will no longer have Instagram. Social media is not my bag.

But, I have a voice, so I am sharing this here.

Conversations with a Homophobe

I am blessed that I have a mother who was fighting for me without my knowledge when family members were sharing their thoughts of who I was or who they thought I was going to be. I am blessed to have a mother who still fights for me. Brothers who have all stated that they are waiting for anyone to fix their mouths and say something against me that is not of their approval. Friends who still stand by my side. Coming out a few months ago was hard to do, but I am more than happy that I did it. As a reminder, you can be religious, faithful, and devout–you can be all of this and not spout hate to those who are in some way, different than you. God is love. Anything else is not of God.

“Love one another.”

Full Plate

Because I am just a woman with a heart willing to love and no lover willing to accept it. Even if it’s right there in their face. Some people just have far too much on their plates to handle anything else.
Courtesy of Pinterest

I have my heart in my hands…