Going Mobile

Lenovolaptop
Lenovo Chromebook|Jernee as my wallpaper/Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

The 39th birthday is coming up in April and with the success and growth of A Cornered Gurl via Medium, it was high time that I purchased a companion to accompany me while doing work when I am mobile. I have a lot of trips scheduled, the first will be next Thursday as I will go home to Savannah, Georgia for a few days. With the addition of new contributors to the publication, stats’ numbers rising, and multiple drafts submitted for review and publishing, this is going to be my new best friend. I am thinking of ways to keep the pub current and a place for growth and an embracing environment for those who feel as though they are not being heard or they are not loud enough on Medium.

A Cornered Gurl is a read-for-all community, meaning that I do not allow locked or metered paywall pieces to be published in this publication. Since Medium has transitioned to a member/subscription platform, more and more of the work that is curated is locked or paywalled and you have to be a subscribing user to read them or you have to wait to use your freebies each month in order to be able to enjoy the paywalled pieces. I wanted this publication to give readers what they’re paying for to read for free–the same quality work, by most of the Writers they are used to reading. Writers are already noticing the benefits of contributing to the publication and just recently, I implemented a new way of showing my appreciation to those who exceed 1,000 claps on Medium. For Writers who reach this milestone, I will issue $10.00 to them via PayPal or via an Amazon e-gift card. So far, there have been two contributors to meet and exceed 1K claps in A Cornered Gurl. Another one is quite close to this milestone.

I think it is important to show people who are helping you grow that you appreciate them, that you want to invest in their talents. Here via the WordPress site, I am featuring various Writers from the Medium pub each month and so far, both featured Writers have been quite pleased with the results of their work. I want A Cornered Gurl to continue to grow and I want to continue to reach people and touch their hearts. Going mobile and branching out a bit more is just two of the most recent visions that I have for ACG. In my heart of hearts, this feels like work that I am supposed to do, that I am meant to do and I LOVE IT!

Coming up in April, there will be a call for submissions for the Young Minds of Medium (ages 15-25) to submit their work for the entire month to be published on Mondays and Fridays. The theme has not been chosen yet, but I am narrowing it down to my top three topics. I am hoping to get the young ones to write their hearts out about the theme and possibly attract a little more eyes to their work. I am not just shooting for the stars here folks, I am trying to pull those babies outta the sky.

If you want to help us out in any way that you can or fund our journey with the smallest gift, I have implemented a PayPal button (in the social media section of the sidebar) for you to be able to donate whatever you like to A Cornered Gurl. Please know that I appreciate your time, eyes, hard-earned money and all proceeds received will go to honoring these contributors the best way that I can and eventually, send their voices out into the ether where they can be their loudest.

Peace and blessings.

Give Them Something To Believe

Teaching the youth. My older cousin Phil and my younger cousin Alex, his nephew. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

Here, you see one of my older cousins speaking to one of my younger cousins, his nephew. Phil, my older cousin, is a successful businessman, an entrepreneur continuing to grow his brand. He has a vast amount of knowledge to share with anyone willing to listen and I watched him as he spoke to my cousin Alex, giving him pointers on what to do in life with his talents in order to have his dreams come true and in turn, work for him.

I sat there amazed by the exchange. As you can see, Alex is listening intently. He is focused. This is nothing new to Phil, regularly, he speaks to hundreds of people who have aspirations of being self-employed and successful in the fields of realty and investments. One of my brothers started his own clothing line, S.T.T.Y. (Stay True To Yourself) and a number of our family members have jumped on the bandwagon and are supporting the Kid by purchasing his creations. The first person I told my brother to reach out to was our cousin.

Young, African-American men need this. They are often hanging by the seat of their pants, struggling because they don’t know the way and they have no idea which path to choose. I am investing in my brother’s company. I believe in his dream. I tell him how exceptionally proud I am of him and I make it a point to rejoice with him when things go well and genuinely empathize when there are hiccups along the way.

The Kid, Posing, but he’s no poser

I want what is best for these young men in my life, for them to reach out and pull back a star. For them to jump up and shoot to the moon. They cannot do it alone. The village is still needed regardless of what some people believe. If we are not willing to get our hands dirty in the mix of catapulting our young ones to a height they’ve never experienced, who will? We must give them something they believe, show them that there is more beyond fast money and slow thinking. The future needs to be filled with a plethora of them paving the way for more and more and more little black boys who will yearn to be for and work for themselves.

If they’re dreaming, don’t crush it. Help build it up. Nurture it. Water it. Speak life over it. KEEP THEM OFF OF THE STREETS! The kind of money out there is the kind that’ll leave them wanting more or send them to an early grave. Our intention should be to watch them live, watch them soar.

If they’re flying high, they won’t have time to come down. Build a young black man up today. He needs that.

Believe me, he needs that.

unconditional 

To know the gift of unconditional love is to become one’s true self without fear. This is a milestone and my heart is happy.

My dad called last night. We had that talk about me being bisexual. I had wanted to be able to sit with him and discuss things in person, but according to him last night, he had something “weighing on his heart.” He just came out and asked me after prefacing it with how much he loves me and how he’d never stop, also stating that no matter who I am, I am his child first and his love for me will never change. 

Him being an Episcopalian preacher has no hierarchy over his love for his child. He also said that he’d known for years but didn’t know how to approach the subject, but he’s glad that I was open with him last night, that I shared myself at my full capacity. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, it was like a casual conversation. I’m grateful for that. I believe, this will open up new doors for us. Expressing how this makes me feel has no words. I don’t think they have even been invented yet.

We all have our skeletons. I am happy mine are out of the closet. 

Amends

Taken during my walk on my lunch break. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

I have forgiven you,
you no longer threaten my growth.
I know that in order to flourish,
in order to bloom, I had to give you
the sunshine you needed and acquire my own.
It is your decision to stay bound,
connected, linked–desperately clinging to
another who only lip-services you and does not
honor your heart.

I do not want that for my own,
so I chose a place for me, for my heart
where both of us can be loved accordingly
and fully without shame.
I hear my heart more now.
I listen.
It has been
s  h  o  u  t  i  n  g 
and I have ignored it, but now–
now I know what it needs
and that is not you.

A lie would be to say that
I don’t miss being a thought of yours,
that I don’t still dream of you,
that on occasion, I don’t get teary-eyed.
I do.

But, I am choosing me.
I know I will not let me down.
This is my letter of amends to you,
my offering–to give you what you have
been wanting,
freedom from commitment.
freedom from love.

This Is What I Have

Really, this is me most days after work and especially on the weekends. I’m pretty boring, but I’m me.

I cannot offer you fancy things, I am quite frugal and I budget accordingly, however, I do make it a point to buy quality items on sale, that will last long. I am all for quality over quantity.  I am soft-spoken, but outspoken. I am an introvert with extroverted tendencies. I love to read, write listen to music, and contemplate the beauty that is life with its sometimes ugly demeanor. I have a voice. I try to use it when speaking about issues dear to me and my community. I love LOVE, the gift of it, the ability to accept it and share it. 

I am not a difficult person but I can do difficult things well. I am a problem-solver, I love finding solutions. I majored in Psychology and I have a minor in Writing. My heart is in my mind and my mind is in my soul. I am all mixed up, but I am perfectly blended. I am a lover of women and of men, but can see myself settling down with a woman (marriage) before I would with a man. Being bisexual has its perks, however, downfalls hover as well. I don’t need anyone or anything that isn’t bringing me happiness. My days of allowing piranhas to attack and rid me of my skin are over. 

THIS IS A NEW DAY!

I don’t expect anything from you that you aren’t willing to give, so if you do not show me that you care, please do not be surprised when I bounce. I am not sticking around for people who lack the ability to become one with the term “reciprocity.” I respect my heart. You should too. I love order. I do not mind a little chaos, but I reserve the right to put my hand up when too much of it enters my realm. That is a surefire way to throw me off balance. I am an excellent cook, have been told that I am an incredible lover, and I treat every single day as an opportunity to learn, grow, and become a better person. 

This, of me, is what I have. If you need more, I may not be the one for you. And just like a new day dawning right after the old, that is okay. 

I will know when my person arrives, if my person arrives. He or she will have what I want and need and I will not have to go searching for pieces to add to him or her. He or she will already be whole. 

He or she will be perfect for me.