bask
I remember a time when
he thought I had
fire for a spirit
and an ocean for
eyes, and then one day
“out of the blue,”
I was fire crying an ocean
of tears, instead.
I think I changed.
I think he changed.
we could no longer bask
in the presence of who
we were.
all we wanted to do
was run away from
each other.
and that ain’t love.
that will never, ever
be love.
the shift
He said
He would do it,
and He did.
the new place is
set for our August
move-in date; nerves
can take a backseat to
daily living.
I followed my gut,
and my gut was Him.
it was already done.
and so, it is.
Everything is set up; my name is on the unit for which I was on the waiting list, and it is ours.
On Thursday, August 24, 2023, me and The Little Monster will be moving to a community I’ve really been wanting to move to.
I’m so happy a unit is available after being on the waiting list for about a month.
I’m overjoyed. I have no more words.
I have decided to give you your flowers while you’re still here. A wonder–a mystic amongst Gods and the ungodly. You have always been captivating. I never wanted to sing. I never wanted to dance. But I have always wanted to write, and you paved the way for me to have this voice–my voice in a world of chaotic flows and shiftless thoughts. You have conquered a sea of endless pain and lived to testify.
Millions of people sing your songs at the top of their lungs–breaths poured into the air that land at your feet. We still stand in awe of you; so incredibly in love with you, we speak your name . . . Tina.
Legends can be born
To be what legends should be
You are so much more
And now, one of my favorite Tina Turner songs.
I wrote this poem and shared it here on November 26, 2022, when this amazing Queen was still breathing. She still lives. She always will. Rest in Power.
The kids play Marco Polo
without a pool
Their little hands flail wildly
in the October sun
No one is IT
Everyone chases the sound
of voices unsure
of what they’re trying to find
243 is 234 to a keen set of eyes
buried in the head of an
amazing human being yet
try as I might
I can’t be in two places
at one time
However, he doesn’t know this
My food sits in front
of a neighbor’s door waiting
for me to retrieve it
I send a message through the
app explaining the dilemma
The digital approval of
a refund chimes in
I really just want to eat
what I ordered
without the hassle
|but I’m also empathetic to
the plight of one’s struggle
I’ll order again tomorrow
I was feeling frisky the other night
so I decided to rearrange the
living room furniture
Afterward, I cleaned and
noticed the dog focused on this
new maze inside her home
She does not approve
I nod satisfied with what I’d
accomplished and my little
friend huffs in disgust
She sniffs the furniture for clues
of sameness — I explain
everything is still here
She tilts her head up to
look in my direction and I can’t
help but feel as though I’m
being graded on my performance
I did not pass her test
I don’t think it brave to
exist in skin the color
of spilled lies and wake up
to a face that never changes
I didn’t ask to bleed the same
blood yet I do
and authorities Other me before
I can utter a word
It is not bravery knowing I
can die for making a sharp
right turn without a signal
in a car registered in my name
with all the updated paperwork
One false move and I
could be hashtagged
The type of privilege that offers
safety is what I envision
for everyone but centuries of
racism begs to have its
face at the ball of life
No one’s dancing . . .
we’re all too afraid to move
All poems were written in October 2021.
Originally published in CRY Magazine via Medium.
if you are lucky — blessed — you have
someone monitoring your health
as best as they can.
if you’re falling off in any way,
they’re there to pick you back up
and remind you, “There’s still
living to do.”
I now know the importance of
keeping my eyes shielded for
as long as I can.
wearing scleral contacts for at least
ten hours per day has helped my
left eye, however, my right
eye is progressing.
according to my optometrist, I’m
still in a range she thinks is “gradual”
and nothing to be concerned about
surgically, just yet.
she agrees with me that we
should allow the additional six months
and reassess in November to see
where I stand.
will my sight
continue to betray me or
will it slow its pace in progression
and stave off surgical procedures
for a few years or more?
I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
she also broke down Corneal Collagen Cross-linking
to me in a way that didn’t terrify me or
cause me to fear attending anymore
ophthalmology follow-up appointments.
she smiled gingerly and said, “I hate to say
this, but most surgeons are trained to give
you the worst-case scenario, and then I
have to . . . clean up the mess.”
I listened to her as each step was
explained, reiterated, and filtered to
my understanding, and I breathed a
sigh of relief.
if this procedure is needed by the end
of the year or later, I feel less worried
about the possibility of having it performed.
when one’s vision is steadily running
in the opposite direction of
the sighted, what does one do?
hope. pray. follow all necessary
precautions. pray some more.
purchase all the expensive items
necessary for the care and maintenance
of the $3,500.00 each, priced lenses.
Can’t let these go to waste, right?
and as I continue to lose my sight in
one eye, it is strengthening in the other.
what can this mean?
what does this mean?
is there even any meaning to it?
my optometrist is happy with
my vision as it stands currently.
I could see what I needed to see
and people, places, and things
are still sharper in my
line of sight.
it’s a small thing but a big thing, too.
I only wish you knew how much.
Originally published in A Cornered Gurl via Medium.
A Cornered Gurl 
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