now my nerves can settle, my heart no longer flutters, butterflies aren’t forming, in my stomach and all is well.
today, I experienced hearty laughs, a homecooked meal not prepared by my hands, a casual walk around a community park, and in-depth conversations.
I watched my dog patrol my best friend’s home searching for her late friend. we sighed. we teared up. it’ll take time for this pain to subside. I will not rush it.
Saturday gifted me with the beauty of newness. while safe in my cocoon before, I slithered out to smell the air of a different place, in the comfort of living beings, and I needed it.
first day off; doctors appointments (oral and orbits), errands to run, only to snake myself back inside where the hum of a senior fur creature’s breathing meets my ears.
This is the first day of my five-day (weekend included) mini staycation. I’ve a dental and an opthalmologist’s appointment, a little bit of grocery shopping to get done, and a whole bunch of loving up on Jernee. Happy weekend, folks!
it is Saturday morning before the birdsong ends, my neighbor tests his drone. he prepares its landing just before Jernee and I cross his path. he giggles excitedly at his accomplishment.
I say to him, “Like a little kid on Christmas Day.” he responds, “Almost.” the joy shivering through his skin is contagious. I giggle too. I watch him swoop his body through the air — throwing it at the sun, following the seeker.
this moment of happiness is logged into my memory bank. I’m blessed by its occurrence. he crosses over from his side of the complex to mine, plants his feet onto Autumn’d grass, and sets his toy free into the air again.
his smile remains. I pick up my stride getting close to our building I feel the pressing of air charging for my veins. this is my favorite season — it pulls my body out of mourning and we welcome the dead and the dying knowing new life is ahead.
the sun opens its eyes, clearing the crust of the previous night, and light kisses my face. I motion my eyes to my neighbor and he’s shooting his head in small spurts to the right, guiding his robotic friend to safety.
Jernee is a strutter. she attacks our walks with the vigor of a playful puppy instead of a senior and I am somewhat jealous of this gift. I pace myself, battling a shoddy ankle from a shower fall five years ago. the pain still lingers, but I fight it head-on.
the greatest love for me at this very moment is walking ahead of me, tags and metal identifiers clinking together — little random bells making their own music. a signal that we have arrived home and can now find sweet rest.
*Author’s Note: I am currently reading, Greatest Love by Dr. & Master Zhi Gang Sha with Master Maya Mackie and Master Francisco Quintero. It’s a great piece of literature in which to lose myself after a few stressful days of work.
