He answered the call at 12:47 AM in a panic. “Next of Kin” meant waking up at all hours of the night when your big sister has done something unthinkable.
“Can you come in to identify the body?”
Can I do what?! She did what?! How was her mental health?!If she jumped from the 14th floor of her building, what is left for me to identify?!
Thunder roared, and the midnight rain poured like it would be the last.
Sadness doesn’t need an introduction–it pops up out of nowhere, clearly ready to stir things up in such an odd way–I can either sink or swim when it chooses to creep in, which one will it be?
I have not given birth to anyone, but I have mothered some; auntied others. I am my dog’s world and my tortoise’s favorite human.
I am a nurturer by default, a giver by God, and a sound and whole lover. I know what I know because I’ve seen what I’ve seen.
To the mothers who have mothered without rest, haven’t had a decent meal in hours, hustling throughout the day from school drop-offs and pickups, and home to make dinner before the streetlights come on.
To those mothering, because they’ve been shoved into that role, forced to take on someone else’s children, eager to adopt the motherless & fatherless. And to the big sisters, big brothers, aunties, and uncles.
To those of you grieving a mother. Crying without sound. Worried if you’ll feel whole again. Living without your mother or mothering human, yet still hurting and longing for their presence, I see you. You are loved and I hope today doesn’t burden you too much.
To mothers of pets cradling their fur babies or singing with their feathered friends or being envious of their reptilian or amphibian creatures. You aren’t lost on me. I know what it takes to keep a pet (s) healthy and not lose your sanity in the process.
To all of you doing what you can, however you can, and whenever you can . . . I hope this Mother’s Day will be a blessing and not a curse. Joy and not sadness. Holy and not evil. And I say that with a love that has no words and cannot be fully described.
You are, every one of you, cherished and admired, and my highest thought of you is one of complete and total adoration.
1. Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates is a powerful book. So far, the author has pulled me in and captured me as his faithful guest–a part of his audience while he tells his tale and reveals his whole heart. It is full of pain and patience and resilience and stories from his past that I can relate to. In the book, the author has written . . . is writing a letter to his teenage son about the ways of our nation.
Based on the author’s background, his words tiptoe into my presence and slap me on my face. I love the language he uses, the imagery he creates, and his soulful way of getting his thoughts across.
Here is a summary of the book:
In a profound work that pivots from the biggest questions about American history and ideals to the most intimate concerns of a father for his son, Ta-Nehisi Coates offers a powerful new framework for understanding our nation’s history and current crisis. Americans have built an empire on the idea of “race,” a falsehood that damages us all but falls most heavily on the bodies of black women and men—bodies exploited through slavery and segregation, and, today, threatened, locked up, and murdered out of all proportion. What is it like to inhabit a black body and find a way to live within it? And how can we all honestly reckon with this fraught history and free ourselves from its burden?
Between the World and Me is Ta-Nehisi Coates’s attempt to answer these questions in a letter to his adolescent son. Coates shares with his son—and readers—the story of his awakening to the truth about his place in the world through a series of revelatory experiences, from Howard University to Civil War battlefields, from the South Side of Chicago to Paris, from his childhood home to the living rooms of mothers whose children’s lives were taken as American plunder. —
If you enjoy having your mind rattled and learning a thing or two about America’s history, I recommend this book.
2 “Univited” by Alanis Morissette is such an incredible song. The lyrics are captivating and her voice is even more so. She has a way of pulling her listeners in and shaking them gently, but releasing us into the wild as we bathe ourselves in those same lyrics for years to come. It is a timeless classic and is ten times better when she performs it live.
The above YouTube video is one of my favorite performances of the song by her. I hope you enjoy it.
you used to know exactly what to say to get me to fall heart over head for you.
I don’t think I’ve been as stupid since we met. two college-aged women floating through the hell of living, just trying to breathe.
I should have known you’d grind me up into pieces and leave me hopeless. “but this is love,” I thought “this is normal”– to have my feelings go unacknowledged.
I didn’t know better. but when I found better, I did better.
it’s still during the morning hours when I remember you. your smile. your voice. your poetic brilliance.
and now I don’t know if it was your heart, mind, or soul I was most attracted to. I can’t remember.
A Cornered Gurl 
You must be logged in to post a comment.