she black like blue beauty trapped in a lion’s soul–pulling her out would be death
she’ll come for you in your dreams and remind you to call out to our ancestors–to ululate in celebration of their resurrections
you must be out your raggedy mind to believe what society feeds you, love–we can’t get fat off of crumbs
we can’t get rich off of pennies they’ll spoon-feed you lies then tell you you’re crazy
but chaotic beauty sits in her rockin’ chair on her wrap-around porch in the devil heat of summer sipping iced tea
she has no ears for gossip only time for what matters most
and that’s the stories of our lives–the stories of our deaths
bring her wine and flowers and the blood of angels as payment for the newness of self you’ll receive after your first meeting with her
you’ll thank me later
A good friend of mine published her second book–the one you see above, and it is beyond words for me to express what I think about it. I read it in one sitting and even then, I wished there was more. I am over-the-moon proud of her, and if you see fit, support this woman. I wouldn’t steer you wrong. Wine Flowers & Blood: Or, what the ancestors say when I’m not listening.
I can’t really say I’m a card collector, but I collect cards . . .
on holidays, just because, special events, sympathy, and empathy, and to say “Thank You”.
but when my arms hold cherished words handpicked by loved ones who have loved me for decades, I collect their beauty and it renews my soul.
nothing is said better than words dancing on pure art selected with YOU in mind, covered in their own colorful envelope–mailed or plopped in your hand in person.
and nothing can compare to the feeling I get when I read those words repeatedly and experience the love they have for me all over again.
44 will be here soon and I flail my limbs, worried that age will age me
the plan is to steal away to my homestate and build with Earths and Gods and have a family affair with the bloodline
the dog will be in tow as I shift from place to place lacing the spaces with my presence
I’ll finally meet my ex’s wife and their beautiful girls, stuff my belly alongside my favorite veteran, and chop it up with the elders as I drink in their wisdom
I want to build on future dreams that’ll propel me forward and lay down the past ache that follows me when I visit home
you used to know exactly what to say to get me to fall heart over head for you.
I don’t think I’ve been as stupid since we met. two college-aged women floating through the hell of living, just trying to breathe.
I should have known you’d grind me up into pieces and leave me hopeless. “but this is love,” I thought “this is normal”– to have my feelings go unacknowledged.
I didn’t know better. but when I found better, I did better.
it’s still during the morning hours when I remember you. your smile. your voice. your poetic brilliance.
and now I don’t know if it was your heart, mind, or soul I was most attracted to. I can’t remember.
Jernee Timid: Such a pretty girl resting on the bed in the Airbnb. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
A planned trip to Asheville, NC is currently taking place as I type up this blog entry. I hadn’t been to Asheville in three years. When COVID hit its hardest in late 2020, I halted all visits and travel plans anywhere.
I went from visiting my favorite place frequently to not visiting at all.
This weekend’s trip is not only shaping up to be a fun one, it’s an emotional one, too. Later today, for lunch, Jernee and I will meet up with one of my closest friends and her two youngest daughters. We’re going to a spot called Creekside Taphouse. This is a pet-friendly eatery with an interesting, yet appealing menu.
Both E and I are free-feeling human beings. With that being said, when we see each other, there will be tight hugs and plenty of tears. I can no longer pick her girls up and hug them close while tossing them in the air sporadically, but I intend to hug them until their little faces flush red.
To not see someone you love for almost four years is a painful thing. It’s a hurt that has no words of description that are good enough.
We had arrangements last year to meet up, but one thing happened and another and another, and here we are in the year 2024, and it’s finally happening!
The fear of being pummeled by one of the harshest viruses is slowly leaving my system. I cannot allow it to pin me to myself and the Piedmont-Triad forever.
I’m getting back out there!
Last night’s dinner: coconut shrimp & Asheville Rolls (sushi) Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Yesterday, upon our arrival, I ordered a double cheeseburger, fries (with aioli sauce), and an unsweetened tea (I added simple syrup as the sweetener) from Baby Bull, which isn’t too far from the Airbnb, River Row Flats.
We’ve stayed here before, and it’s a place I like to call a temporary home when we’re in Asheville. There is one hotel we use, too.
The meal was delicious and I was pleased with the efficiency in preparation of the meal and the accuracy of it, too. Of late, customer service isn’t really what it used to be, and often when I order takeout nowadays, I’m left unimpressed. Not this time, though!
Dinner was also scrumptious! I ordered coconut shrimp as an appetizer and Asheville Rolls, which are tasty sushi rolls with salmon, cream cheese, avocado, and sticky rice.
The place in question is Mr. Tea Asian Bistro. This restaurant is also not too far away from the Airbnb. They also give you a fancy schmancy takeout bag for you as a keepsake! Isn’t it swanky?!
Airbnb Snapshot #1
Airbnb Snapshot #2
Airbnb Snapshot #3
Airbnb Snapshot #4
Currently, I am pleased with the decision made in early February of this year to book this trip, match calendars with E, and bring Jernee back to a place that gives us both a great deal of energy.
Loving and living with my senior dog during her later years are challenging. She cannot do nearly as much as she used to, so I have to find things both she and I can enjoy.
Our walks around the lake across the street from where we’re staying as well as the walks up and down the strip have been easy for her and fun, too.
I’m getting my exercise, she’s using her joints more and drinking in the breeze as it hits her little face, and my heart is healing. We get our walks in back home, as you all know, but there’s just something especially different about being able to exercise the way you need to away from home and have places where this can be done as well.
Coming back to Asheville has been the best decision I’ve made so far this year. Next month, we’ll be traveling home to Savannah, Georgia. We haven’t been there in nearly five years. I can hear home calling.
We’ve been tied down to our places of “safety,” afraid to move forward.
We’re changing that. And I’m excited about it, too!
A Cornered Gurl 
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