a stranger cupped my hand in hers at the curb of the crosswalk, and looked at me pleadingly.
I am funny about touch if I don’t know you, and sometimes even when I do, but I knew something was wrong when I saw her eyes dancing like they were running away from terror.
I tilted my head and leaned into her personal space and smelled fear. caution warned me not to turn around, so I didn’t, but I could hear him breathing.
a cop–woman, stood by her cruiser a block away, and sitting shotgun was her partner. I looked at her, raising my tethered hand, and then looked at the silent woman, and the cop knew.
the man started running as soon as their eyes locked. the silent woman sat in the backseat, and closed the cruiser’s door.
I walked two blocks home, dangling my hand at my side, twiddling my fingers, feeling the lonesome lack of the woman’s grip.
I prayed for her safety as my pulse quickened.
This was my dream from last night. I hope it isn’t a premonition or a vision into what will happen.
Jernee Timid: Fading away from all that she knows.
August 23, 2025, before a short afternoon walk, I came into the living room from our bedroom and found Jernee like this.
If you have followed Jernee & I for a number of years, you know I document it all. From Jernee’s highlights to the downsides of being a pet mom.
She used to have a blog completely dedicated to her and our adventures. I think that is how I met many of you. Funny how I have forgotten what the name of that blog was. If any of you remember, please share it in the comments.
The last few years have been rough. Overall, this Little Monster has been the most magnificent companion. I could not have asked for a better dog.
She has been my peace. She has been my joy. She has been every ounce of love that I’ve needed in the witching hour.
Since my late cousin Chrissy’s death in February of 2022, I have learned a new way to approach death & dying. I face it head on; feel all the emotions that I need to–lose myself in it, and grieve… grieve… grieve.
The morning comes when the mourning is done.
Jernee Timid has been a firecracker since her very first day with me, which was May 28, 2008. She was six weeks old. She cried on the way home to Greensboro, North Carolina (at that time) from Wilmington, North Carolina, which is where she is from.
A reputable breeder sold her to me, and I whisked her away from her remaining brother and sister (Bella & Butler) of their litter. She wailed & wailed, and I thought, “I haven’t heard a dog cry like this since we picked up Nala (Mook’s first baby girl puppy) from her breeder.”
Jernee made such a ruckus, I had to pull over at a gas station about ten miles away, shift her from her doggy bed, and set her up comfortably in my lap for the remainder of the drive to her new home.
From that day, I knew she was going to get any and everything out of me that she wanted. She was spoiled from Day One.
She settled into our family like she belonged here–like she had previously claimed us, and she was just waiting for us to come and bring her home.
I have to remind myself that everyone cannot handle this level of decline in Jernee. Not many can endure the videos I will share. My kid brother, for example, lived with us for three years, and Jernee is his baby.
I’ve seen that kid go to war verbally about her, and I know for a fact he will beat a person down bare-handed if ever they wronged Jernee. He calls her Princess Jay or Jay Nasty (please don’t ask me why, the kid isn’t right! ๐๐คฃ๐).
I’ve been sharing the videos with him, and he told me this evening, “Man, no matter how much we say we are good, we can never prepare for these things. Man, I keep watching this video, I started crying. It’s hard to see Jernee like this, fr, so I know you are exhausted. Iโm praying for you, sis. I love you.”
He is the baby boy. I am ten years older than him. He has always had a special place in my heart, but he is the only one who can make me go from Zero to One Hundred in five seconds flat, too.
He cannot deal with the reality of this. He keeps telling me I’m strong and asking how can I record Jernee when she’s fading. My response to him, “How can I not? I love Jernee in life. I’m going to love Jernee in death. This is our reality now, until it’s not. I have recorded many happy times. I find it essential to record the sad times, too.”
So, I will. And if this is not going to be your thing, I get it. I understand it. It’s not easy to digest. But it is my baby girl’s life, and I will immerse myself in it until I have nothing left of her.
I will miss this sweet face. She means the entire world to me.
Jernee has a vet visit for Friday, September 12, 2025, at 0900. The first thing we will discuss is end-of-life options, and I’m preparing myself for that date to be her last with me.
Letting go should be easy, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that it is not. However, I won’t prolong the inevitable.
These next few weeks are going to try my patience due to Jernee’s decline, but I am going to do everything in my power to make sure she has the best last days on God’s green earth.
I may not have the mental wherewithal to respond to comments, but I will leave them on, and I thank you for any warm wishes, peaceful thoughts, and words of wisdom in advance.
Pictured Microfiction. Weird Dan: Sunday Microfiction #10 Created with Canva.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Sรฉduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bearโs Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
No matter how heavy & hectic my day has been or how the drama of the world gets me down, EJ never fails to make me laugh. And I love her for this!
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Sรฉduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bearโs Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
a solstitial event was the day she left silence at the foot of our friendship.
there is nothing more heartbreaking than a woman who doesn’t know her heartโs desire being capable of crushing the heart of another.
now I have a timestamp of when I learned the phrase โI will never hurt you.โ has an unspoken addendum:
โunless Iโm afraid of what your love can do to me.โ
jujitsu’d out of love
I’m at a point where my mind is debating with my heart to not have it jujitsu it anymore.
it’s tired of fighting a fight for lackluster love and never winning.
I used to be a strategic runner– hurdling over dead weight and con people.
now I lean into obstacles with heavy artillery stationed around my person.
I handle war much differently in my older years.
I know how my battles often portray themselves, and I fight smart not hard.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Sรฉduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bearโs Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
A Cornered Gurl 
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