Category: Depression

Sometimes, the Magic Is in the Words …

trE

and all you have to do is listen. I love this account. She’s so uplifting and talented, and she’s also funny, too.

May this video touch and agree with you on the places and spaces you need opened up in your life.

Peace and blessings.

NaPoWriMo #22

trE

never been us

four years later, I
see your face
snap its way back
into my mind, and I
am stunted by its
presence–unmovable, and
lost in the shambles of the
lake of us, and I want
to blink my eyes constantly
until I can’t see you anymore.

you didn’t even have
the heart to follow
through with every promise
promised or every word
unkept; I knew in the
second year I’d be your
doormat, and after the
sixth year, I pulled myself
up, dusted myself off, and
shot my way into a
more inviting direction.

you came back …
unable to let me live
my life without you
in it, and I saw that dimpled
cheek smile at me, and
the person I was while you
were away caved in.

I hate you for loving me
hard enough to cause me
to fear everyone else.
I love you for finally letting
me walk away and stay
away for good.
I warned you that we’d be
too much to handle, and now
you see that

I
was
right.

NaPoWriMo #18

trE

disappear

I’ve tried telling them
these feelings for you, but they
won’t listen to me

you must leave me be
I have nothing left to give
and you deserve more

I know it is true
yet you remain, my sweetheart
we both should let go

but fear still binds us
and the odds are stacked so high
you won’t disappear

NaPoWriMo #17

trE

43

Playing with the camera. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

birthday tip-toed into
the morning sun shadows, greeted me with open arms,
and begged me to get
up and play with it.

one more year is here to
plaster me in hope and grind
me down to a newer version
of myself I’ve been shelving for
decades.

I tell it I’ll surrender under
one condition, and that’s if
it’ll give me fifteen minutes
in a room with my dead
cousin, unbothered by a
world that keeps shifting
with every breath I take.

it’s an interrogation of sorts;
how I attempt to negotiate
getting older and being
happy while doing it, instead
of drowning myself in
sadness.

“I’m better now.
I’m healing.
I’m giving myself the
grace everyone says I
should.”

and time is offering me
an extended contract
with every bell and whistle
I prayed for, and I don’t
know if I should sign.

but there’s hope for
me yet.
I’ve made it to 43, and
I do not feel the same.

“This is good”, I tell
myself.
“This is very good.”

NaPoWriMo #11

trE

the silent twins

The Silent Twins Trailer

feeding off one another’s
shifty moods and competitive
ways, these two parade
around in silence in front
of everyone outside of
their bubble.

june & jenny
jenny & june
sisters of silence
and mayhem and turmoil
and eating disorders.

I teared up witnessing a
harnessed neck collapsing
at the sight of a broken
hearted sibling wailing
with no sound.

how’d they manage to
live so long before one
died on the shoulder of
the other?

how’d they manage to
pump enough blood
to their hearts when
they spent so much time
bathed in depression?

such lovely parents.
such lovely parents.
understanding and willing
to do what was best
for the girls–an empath’s
soul will not make it without
crushing.

be careful of what you
share with your mind
when all you were searching
for was a Sunday afternoon
movie in which to escape.