the birthday weekend
didn’t host a getaway
but mountains still sing
I’m hopeful this time
will greet me with so much fun
hiding in shadows
early start to search
for a temporary home
while mountain air soothes
with Jernee in tow
I will make sweet memories
first weekend of May
forgotten curry
settling in the back of
the cupboard slips its way
into my line of sight
and I prepare my chicken
with it.
Some mixed peppercorn,
a bit of garlic powder,
a dash of salt, and seasoned
flour.
a meal fit for a queen and
her party of fools
dances on my sensitive
tongue.
diced potatoes, steamed
broccoli, and filtered water
to wet my whistling lips.
I fall into the beauty
that is meal prep and
the dog stands guard at
the kitchen door, waiting
for dropped morsels.
there aren’t any.
four years later, I
see your face
snap its way back
into my mind, and I
am stunted by its
presence–unmovable, and
lost in the shambles of the
lake of us, and I want
to blink my eyes constantly
until I can’t see you anymore.
you didn’t even have
the heart to follow
through with every promise
promised or every word
unkept; I knew in the
second year I’d be your
doormat, and after the
sixth year, I pulled myself
up, dusted myself off, and
shot my way into a
more inviting direction.
you came back …
unable to let me live
my life without you
in it, and I saw that dimpled
cheek smile at me, and
the person I was while you
were away caved in.
I hate you for loving me
hard enough to cause me
to fear everyone else.
I love you for finally letting
me walk away and stay
away for good.
I warned you that we’d be
too much to handle, and now
you see that
I
was
right.
A Cornered Gurl 
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