I melt into myself from a lazy day that mainly incorporates working out, reading, writing, cooking, staying sane, and trying not to spiral.
I morph into my grandmother, who is almost 90 years old. She is a worrier who doesn’t understand the word “No.” I overthink. I overanalyze. I overcompensate for things I should have acknowledged from my past.
The dog is clingier than normal. I think she believes I will disappear without a moment’s notice. The TV is background noise. It assists and acts as my co-writer and co-creator.
I miss out on sleep waiting for the “I’m home” message from the crush. She’s a night owl who walks home from her second job, which tears my nerves all the way up, but I applaud extra efforts in the pursuit of monetary excellence.
I say several prayers that usually involve me questioning what God has in store for my impending future, and I plop my exhausted body down on the pillow top with the enhanced cooling foam mattress topper, and sink into a deep sleep.
I wake up in the middle of the night to relieve myself, but I don’t want Sunday to end. Soon after, it does. And I am left longing for its presence, hoping the next five days will hurry up.
I miss Friday already.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
it hit me today–I always knew I had no chance in hell, but I tried to remain confident in my shambled self–maybe I am meant to make others feel good, while remnants of pain catapult me closer to denial.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
Birthday Shenanigans #1. Thursday, April 17, 2025 (in the morning)
the 45th gave birth to smiles.
Birthday Shenanigans #2. Thursday, April 17, 2025 (in the morning)
Birthday Shenanigans #3. Ugh! That stupid loc is out of place!!! 😒😒😒Thursday, April 17, 2025 (in the afternoon)
I conquered some unwanted pesky demons.
Birthday Shenanigans #4. Thursday, April 17, 2025 (in the afternoon)
Birthday Shenanigans #5. Thursday, April 17, 2025 (in the evening) Dinner from my favorite Japanese Sushi & Steakhouse restaurant.
God decided–another year is necessary.
Birthday Shenanigans #6. Thursday, April 17, 2025 (in the evening) Dinner from my favorite Japanese Sushi & Steakhouse restaurant.
April 17, 2025, was my 45th birthday. The crush showered me with gifts from Sunday until Tuesday, and then a birthday text message yesterday evening. She said Wednesday’s gift will be late, but I am not concerned about that. NO ONE has ever given me a gift a day (and these are not inexpensive dollar amounts, either), leading up to my birthday to celebrate me. NO ONE! There are no words for that–I am still digesting it. I may have someone whose giving heart is bigger than mine. I don’t know how to deal with that because I am not usually the one receiving . . . I’m usually the giver. So . . . for at least two days, I was extremely emotional and told her so, and all she could say was, “Just enjoy it.” So, I did.
Of course, I told my very close people about this, and it’d gotten to be so much a part of my birthday week that messages were coming in with the question, “So, what’s today’s gift?” And I informed them of such. One of my friends said, “A gift a day leading up to your birthday?! BAYBAY, lemme holla at my husband!” My ex/very close friend said, “Now listen here . . . I did that for *insert his wife’s name here* for our 10th anniversary. Tre, as far as I am concerned, that’s your woman.” To which I responded, “Dude, I expect this from you. LOL. We’re not there yet. We may never be. Let’s remember, she’s straight.” One of my co-workers said, “She finna be your future boo, Tre! Who is out here giving folks a gift-a-day up to their birthday and they’re not together?!” *Sighs*
I do not know how the dating world works anymore. I’ve not been in it for Y E A R S. But apparently, people don’t hear you when you say, “No, we’re just opening up a bit more with each other since I shot my shot. That’s all.”
Karen and two of my cousins loaded my account up with money. I had so many text messages and phone calls that my heart nearly exploded from the love that poured all over me. I am beyond blessed. Therapy was a necessary thing to have, and I told my psychologist I finally let the crush know, as he was waiting to see if I could conquer that hill in my life. I did. And since that monkey has been off my back, I have been breathing a bit easier.
I think life is probably going to stop lifeing for just a bit. We’ll see how long that lasts.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
Some parts of this poem are fiction–some of it is non-fiction. Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
she wears an evil smirk on her solemn face — lips pursed and puckered at the same time. how odd?! I think . . . but she glides across the pathway, feet floating — cloudlike is the journey, and I watch her wade into the waters of my overthinking mind.
should I remind her about the boiling pot on the stove or the apple pie in the oven?
neither of them can hold her attention like I can.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
A Cornered Gurl 
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