I Thought To Call, But…

Musical Selection: Ohio Players|Heaven Must Be Like This

Winter storm Diego, December, 2018.

it is cold, the snow is melting
after layering the streets of North Carolina
and I am sitting here,
like a fool trapped in her thoughts,
thinking about you and your words.

I thought to call you,
maybe you’d like to reminisce too
but I know you are not interested
in the past the way that I am.
you have always been eager to
run toward the future,
your heart hanging out of your shirt,
flailing on the ragged seams,
pretending to be true.

I was going to call, but
my neighbor forgot to pick
up after his dogs and I spent thirty minutes
arguing with myself about telling him to
handle his dogs’ business, then I remembered
how you used to say,
“You are too passionate about this world”
and I decided to keep my mouth shut.

it is still cold, the elderly woman downstairs
shuffles with her cane and taps the back
of her car and snow falls quickly to
an early death.
she coughs, cancer rattling in her chest and I
thought, I should call you…

but what would I say?


Originally published in The Junction via Medium


*Author’s Note: This past weekend, North Carolina was pummeled by Diego, a storm categorized as a “winter storm” and winter does not officially begin until December 21, 2018. Just my area alone — Winston-Salem, a city in Central North Carolina received fourteen inches of snow. That does not include sleet and ice. Let me put that in layman’s terms for anyone wondering — we received our annual snowfall estimated accumulation in just one day. One day. For a city that is used to measurable snowfall each year, usually not reaching double digits, we have handled it exceptionally well. December 17, 1930, was the last time we received over one foot of snow. Let that sink in for a minute.

We Will Not Be Silenced: I Have My Copy. Do You Have Yours?

Survivors write and contribute art of their survival in this Anthology. All proceeds will benefit a great cause. It would be great to live in a world where something like this isn’t needed, but… that isn’t our reality.

We Will Not Be Silenced… is available now via Amazon. The Writers collective for this anthology is a jaw-dropping list and I will name a few: Sarah Doughty, Ali Grimshaw, and Candice Louisa Daquin

I have my copy. Do you have yours?

Courtesy of Youversion Bible App

Even the most subtle hint of creating change can bring out the beasts of the world. An army can obliterate them. The problem is, we don’t have enough people willing to don his or her armor to fight for what’s right in the open when the light is perfectly set. Fear is a mongrel, steadfast when it has a target. “Stand up for something or fall for anything.”

Holes

Post oral surgery. Friday, November 16, 2018.

On a blistering cold Friday morning,
I ventured out. In the comfort
and care of my cousin, we
maintained an appointment for
wisdom teeth removal.
I bit the bullet.
The top two were removed and
now, I am recuperating, ruminating,
and wrestling with thoughts of you.

Sometimes, you sneak up
on me when I am not prepared
to battle throughout the day because
of our many differences. I will not
say that you drain me, but you
hopscotch on a couple of sensitive
places and I refuse to have them
boxed in again.

And as I swish water from side to side
in my healing mouth, I think of how
it would be to finally have that one date
you’ve been threatening to take me on
for two years now.
And I name it, place it in a bag,
Toss it up in the air to see
Where it lands and my guess is
And will be on NEVER.

I am an optimist, but I have to be real.
These holes in my mouth
Do not tell the future,
But the ones in my heart do.