Month: June 2023

Care Package

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Homemade cookies & handcrafted jewelry box. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

One of my closest friends lives in Anchorage, Alaska. She sent me homemade cookies (that she lovingly made) and this handcrafted jewelry box she purchased from one of the local native Alaskan artists.

You know how sometimes you simply have no words for the love you have for someone–how no word seems to describe how moved you are when you think of a person? That’s how I feel about Zainey.

Her birthday is coming up soon, and I intend to surprise her. She’s not hard to please, and she has such a booming personality, she’ll appreciate whatever is offered to her. But, I know what to get her.

I often worry about the way I love and the kind of hard love I offer to others, but something like this takes place to let me know, I’m loving the way I need to.

Happy Friday, beautiful people!

I hope you are offering love the way you know how, and that you are also allowing yourself to receive it, too.

We Are. We Are Not. We Cannot Be.

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An audio-revised free verse poem

Photo by ziphaus on Unsplash
We Are. We Are Not. We Cannot Be.

I watched as you burned sage,
cleansing your home of another
breakup,
burying a relationship you thought
would not live up to its
potential,

You were right.

In the brisk air of the hallway,
the smoke led itself down an
uneven path, one I’ve often
taken into the road of you. 
thirsts forever unquenched.
who you are to everyone 
else will never be
who you are to me, and only
we know the . . .

Truth.

It’s often those who are clever
who bark up trees with no
grip to console their feverish minds,
nipping at pastimes, trying
to pick up where they left off,
leaving the accolades of the
good ole days in raggedy
trashcans, unsure of how to
dispose of each

One.

Didn’t you find me in
your reflection standing behind
years of torture yet holding
every memory we made over
your head as a reminder of
how insouciant you are?
belligerent in shaky armor,
a world of “No, thank you” and
“Please, leave me alone”
lingers on the tip of 
your tongue . . .

We Are. We Are Not. We Cannot Be.

©2017 & 2023 Tremaine L. Loadholt Originally published in A Cornered Gurl via Medium.

Juneteenth

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Freedom Day?

Image courtesy of The Washington Post

Juneteenth marks the day in 1865 when federal troops arrived in Galveston, Texas, to take control of the state and ensure all enslaved people be freed, more than two years after the Emancipation Proclamation.

 — Jae C. Hong/AP

Celebrations of the holiday started out regionally in Texas, but as Black Americans spread out across the United States, they brought their traditions with them, including remembrances for one of the final vestiges of chattel slavery.

— Alana Wise/NPR

This is a federal holiday. Many of us would love to be off from our jobs to celebrate and reflect upon it, but depending on the industry in which you work (if you work), this isn’t so. 

I work in the medical field: specifically, radiology scheduling. We do not get Martin Luther King, Jr. Day off, so of course, Juneteenth will not be any different. *Insert unsurprised look here*

Although, much to my chagrin, I am off from work for a different reason. 

I am not feeling well; taking a chance on creating a new dish that included adobo and coconut and a host of other spices (and it was incredibly delicious), then following that up with a huge bowl of ice cream, my body has taken a stance all on its own to have me laid up, attempting to recuperate from a MAJOR digestive response to my eating habits last night.

I have grown used to not being off when my peers are — to batting away at incoming calls left and right in order to schedule patients for their much-needed procedures. Before this position, I was used to checking patients in or screening them for COVID-19 symptoms and ensuring their medical insurance coverage was up-to-date and accurate.

And before that, I had been explaining medical insurance coverage to patients and informing them of their estimated out-of-pocket due for certain gastroenterological and eye procedures. I am used to working when others are not for federally recognized holidays.

And if my digestive system was up to it, I would be logged on at this moment, taking calls.

But for those of you who are off; for those of you who can celebrate this day and reflect upon it in ways that are beneficial to you and your community, I hope you will.

Widespread recognition of the holiday was slow moving. For years, it was a relatively obscure holiday celebrated among Black people with little acknowledgment or understanding from outside cultures and communities.

— Alana Wise/NPR

While I am recuperating and learning my lesson from concocting things my body cannot tolerate, I will further educate myself on this glorious day by reading about specific events, festivals, and moments of reflection that took place this weekend and will take place today.

Grow in peace. Grow in love. Even though this is Freedom Day, many of us are still not free.

Peace and blessings.

Fathers, You Are Loved.

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A free verse poem

Photo by Humphrey Muleba on Unsplash

And we may whisper
it from our pursed lips
on a rainy day while the
TV plays cartoons in
the background; “noise to
distract us from ourselves,”
only to be focused on you.

We haven’t forgotten. 
We assure you. 
We know how your strong
arms can lift us
beyond the stars.

We remember the tightness
of your embrace.
We can pinpoint the moment
you raged toward “21 questions”
when we brought some
new date home.

You are a young girl’s
first love.
You are a young boy’s
first hero.
You are the Boogeyman’s
Hitman for the little
ones who cry and coo
in their dark rooms.

It is imperative that you know
our lips will form to shape
the words, “Thank you” 
and our hearts will push
out three others; “I love you”,
as you sit back in your
favorite chair to soak
up the newness of another day
the world nearly ignores.

But please don’t forget,
we know how important you
are. We aren’t afraid
to show you. 
You are the present
a child waits to open
last.

Happy Father’s Day!

Originally published in A Cornered Gurl via Medium.