Making Moves While Moving Minds While Striving To Stay Alive

Say boy, we make the decisions. I need all hands in the air. Tired and shaking. Shaking and tired. DO NOT SPEAK! Orders are shouted at us before we can talk some sense into our hearts…

Keep them from beating too fast. 

Before dawn, four of us lay sprawled out on a cold ground. Blood spilling from our heads. Mothers of boys cough on constant tears, voices held hostage. When can they speak?  Make room for empty promises and ignoramuses stepping on pointed toes. 

Give them an inch and they take ten miles, none of them green. 

I got 5 on the next incident that’s an accident that’s not really an accident, but they’re logging it as such as we count the bodies piling up. Killing us softly with more than songs. Your word is as good as your false teeth. Who amongst you will fight for an honor that is batted down at every turn?

Don’t you all speak at once. We can only swallow a few lies at a time. 

Make way for hardened hearts and stealthy forces. An untimely exodus is long overdue. 

Tithes & Offerings

Finding Peace With My Father

woman
Courtesy of Pinterest

I am not searching
For my kin
Men give me hives
And women drive me crazy

You wanted me
Settled by now —
Baby hipped, bare feet
No cause for
Questions

But, I am full of
Questions
All needing answers.
I hold back.
Every year, I chicken out.
Clucked by the best, my
Demons fester and you
Pop up when I
Am trying to understand
Where to go from here.

The path I have taken
Only leads me to
The same circle I have
Met for 25 years,
Incomplete.
I step out of the circle,
Refusing its enclosure,
I draw a line.

You cannot cross it.

My heart blocks
The pain of a
Lost child begging to
Be understood, wanting
To be heard in the
Noisy body of
Cheerful congregations.
They pass
Our family secrets around
In the collection plate.

One drops a 20.
He needs change.
He knows our story
From front to back,
I do not sit next to him.
Each secret floats, heavy
Like coins, clinging
To musty bills,

Testimonies are next.

You say, “I have a confession
To make. I love my children.
I would die without them.
I could die without them.
Nothing has changed.”
You are happy.
Beaming, proud Daddy
Wishing to knee-us-up
And bounce us until
We lose ourselves.

I see your happiness.
I reach into my clutch
As the plate comes around,
Pull out a smile
And I tell my neighbor,
“Pass it along.”


Originally published on June 18, 2017, via Medium. Happy Father’s Day!