a day of self-love

NaPoWriMo #18 (3 6-word poems)

Birthday Shenanigans #1. Thursday, April 17, 2025 (in the morning)

the 45th gave birth
to smiles
.

Birthday Shenanigans #2. Thursday, April 17, 2025 (in the morning)
Birthday Shenanigans #3. Ugh! That stupid loc is out of place!!! 😒😒😒Thursday, April 17, 2025 (in the afternoon)

I conquered some
unwanted pesky demons
.

Birthday Shenanigans #4. Thursday, April 17, 2025 (in the afternoon)
Birthday Shenanigans #5. Thursday, April 17, 2025 (in the evening) Dinner from my favorite Japanese Sushi & Steakhouse restaurant.

God decided–another year is
necessary.

Birthday Shenanigans #6. Thursday, April 17, 2025 (in the evening) Dinner from my favorite Japanese Sushi & Steakhouse restaurant.

April 17, 2025, was my 45th birthday. The crush showered me with gifts from Sunday until Tuesday, and then a birthday text message yesterday evening. She said Wednesday’s gift will be late, but I am not concerned about that. NO ONE has ever given me a gift a day (and these are not inexpensive dollar amounts, either), leading up to my birthday to celebrate me. NO ONE! There are no words for that–I am still digesting it. I may have someone whose giving heart is bigger than mine. I don’t know how to deal with that because I am not usually the one receiving . . . I’m usually the giver. So . . . for at least two days, I was extremely emotional and told her so, and all she could say was, “Just enjoy it.” So, I did.

Of course, I told my very close people about this, and it’d gotten to be so much a part of my birthday week that messages were coming in with the question, “So, what’s today’s gift?” And I informed them of such. One of my friends said, “A gift a day leading up to your birthday?! BAYBAY, lemme holla at my husband!” My ex/very close friend said, “Now listen here . . . I did that for *insert his wife’s name here* for our 10th anniversary. Tre, as far as I am concerned, that’s your woman.” To which I responded, “Dude, I expect this from you. LOL. We’re not there yet. We may never be. Let’s remember, she’s straight.” One of my co-workers said, “She finna be your future boo, Tre! Who is out here giving folks a gift-a-day up to their birthday and they’re not together?!” *Sighs*

I do not know how the dating world works anymore. I’ve not been in it for Y E A R S. But apparently, people don’t hear you when you say, “No, we’re just opening up a bit more with each other since I shot my shot. That’s all.”

Karen and two of my cousins loaded my account up with money. I had so many text messages and phone calls that my heart nearly exploded from the love that poured all over me. I am beyond blessed. Therapy was a necessary thing to have, and I told my psychologist I finally let the crush know, as he was waiting to see if I could conquer that hill in my life. I did. And since that monkey has been off my back, I have been breathing a bit easier.

I think life is probably going to stop lifeing for just a bit. We’ll see how long that lasts.


Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.

steady: a birthday poem

NaPoWriMo #17

steady: a birthday poem ©2025 Tremaine L. Loadholt


Some parts of this poem are fiction–some of it is non-fiction. Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.

stride

NaPoWriMo #15

she wears an evil smirk
on her solemn face — lips pursed
and puckered at the same time.
how odd?! I think . . .
but she glides across the
pathway, feet floating — cloudlike
is the journey, and I watch
her wade into the waters of
my overthinking mind.

should I remind her about
the boiling pot on the
stove or the apple pie
in the oven?

neither of them can hold
her attention like I
can.


Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.

the crush crushes, too

NaPoWriMo #16

I finally snatched the chance
to shoot my shot and shot
it with precision and purpose.

being friends first helped us.
and although a “yes”, is not
the answer . . . the door is n o t
closed to further discussion.

the crush crushes, too.
and loving me is important to her.
losing me she doesn’t want to see.

I now know the gift of being
held in high regard by someone
who secretly crushed on
me, too.


Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.

Left-handed in a Dream: A Haibun

Part IV: Coming back to her senses|NaPoWriMo #14

AI-Generated Image: A Black woman is sitting on her bed in deep thought. She is wearing a dark teal top with an overly expressive look on her face. The sheets are beige or off-white and the headboard is a dark tan color.

They sojourned in Panama five years ago. The short vacation was a breath of fresh air for the two of them. She recalled the love-making that shifted their spirits every day while they were there. In those moments, she knew he was her person. She and Rodney were meant to be. How could she get that feeling back again? Memory sat with the quietness of the room while Rodney played the instrumental version of “Your Love Is Kingon their Yamaha C3X Grand Piano. The way the melody echoed throughout their home brought a smile to her face. And there it was . . . the moment she needed to jog her memory. She was falling in love again–it only took a melody pouring from the tips of Rodney’s fingers to do it.

remembering love
and the sweet gift of music
breaks into the heart


Part I, Part II, & Part III

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.

Peace and Blessings!