Category: Non-Fiction

In Life and In Dying

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Part II: I have two jobs now; I didn’t know caretaking for a senior dog would be this hard.

August 22, 2025. Part I of a two-part video of a regular morning with Jernee, now as she continues to decline.

This is the first part of how our mornings go now that Jernee is no longer fully independent. She cannot hear. She cannot see. She is losing her faculties and is not truly aware of where she is and what to do.

Being a watchdog for your dog is crazy work, but I eagle-eye her like a hawk, trying my best to keep her safe and to comfort her. The facial expressions she wears now are a combination of confused, lost, sad, and frustrated. My baby girl rarely looks excited, happy, and free these days.

This is the video I cannot watch without breaking down; without losing my cool and feeling like a partial failure because of what’s happening to her. Logically, I know I am not at fault. I know this is God’s plan. We all have to make our grand exit off of this plane and onto the next, but tell that to my heart.

I don’t get much sleep. She wakes up at random hours during the night in a mild state of confusion, or she wants to go outside to potty, or it’s a combination of both.

When she’s whining, I know she’s confused, and she simply needs to be calmed down, so I soothe her and put her in the bed with me. Those moments are the hardest.

I have had to find new ways to keep her safe while I’m at home because if she cannot sense my presence, she will run around our apartment frantically until she can. If she knows I’m at home, she wants me near her, no questions about it.

Taking this into consideration and knowing I do not want her to injure herself, I place her bed we use for sitting outside on our balcony, in the kitchen and bathrooms so she can be around me. Wild, right?!

Yes, you may be saying to yourself, “Why are you doing this?!” But if you witness how terrified Jernee is when she knows I am home and she doesn’t sense me, you would understand.

Jernee Timid: sitting at our kitchen’s entrance in her bed while I prepare her and Zumi’s food, and clean up afterward. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

When I do this, there is peace in our home. She isn’t whining. She isn’t terrified and panting from searching throughout our apartment for me. She isn’t alone. She knows Mommy isn’t too far away, and that comforts her.

And as long as she is comfortable and in a peaceful state, then I can be “right as rain.”

Please do not let anyone tell you that caring for a senior dog who is declining is easy. I am bearing witness and living through it, and can testify that it is not. It is a labor of love, and a multitude of patience should be in tow.

If you cannot love and you are not patient, do not become a dog owner. Eventually, you will have to endure the inevitable, and they deserve people who will walk calmly and lovingly alongside them toward the end.

Part I

Great Things Are Ahead for The Conversation

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A Book Review

The Setup for reading and relaxing. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

I have been reading books for an extremely long time; I started when I was at least three or four years old. Dr. Seuss’ books lined my childhood bookshelf.

But I have only been reviewing books that I have read for maybe twenty years?

I have learned that constructive criticism and your honest opinion aren’t always welcome by certain writers/creatives. With a few that I have encountered, ego gets in the way, and they feel as though everything they put into the ether will shit gold and piss silver.

But it will not. If an unedited book has a great core, a grounded foundation, a plot that readers can follow, and versatility, that book can be salvaged, edited, and reintroduced to the world to get the flowers it deserves.

And I know this can and will happen for “The Conversation” by J. R. Floyd. Below is the review I shared for it on both Amazon and Goodreads:

“The Strength Is There But It Deserves Editing

I appreciated the fact that the author is versatile. In this book, you will find a play, fiction, spoken word/poetry, and simple dialogue between a mother and daughter.

The development of each piece is sound and vividly expressed with poignant details, however, grammar, syntax, punctuation, etc., takes away from the full enjoyment of the book.

The author’s voice cannot be denied or buried. It comes out swinging and demands a listening ear and attentive eyes. I thoroughly enjoyed the first half of the book and sunk deeply into the plots and storylines.

With an overhaul and some solid editing, this could be a remarkable project. The strength is there, and one does benefit from reading it in its form, but I believe this is a rough draft that could shine with two or more digs into its bones.

The core is alive–bringing it to the surface in a more pristine form can happen, and I hope it does. The talent is unshackled, it simply needs to be formed, ironed out, and polished.

I hope to see a revised, edited version. I would purchase it as well.”

I reached out to J. R. to share the review with her first, and to let her know that I will be ready for the book’s golden return to the reading world.

She was receptive to the review and admitted she appreciated my honesty and that she knows the potential this book manifested in her head and heart, but it does need more care and attention.

I asked her if I could share it here just as I do with my other reviews, and she said that I could. Trust me, if I were not granted permission, you would not be reading this. This is a community of writers and readers. We deserve to grow amongst one another.

As a writer, I want openness and honesty about my work. As an author, I want reviews that are going to help me grow and keep me aware of my potential to get better, not just “Yes People” gassing my head up for the sake of ratings and approvals.

I am hopeful The Conversation returns when it is time, wearing a new dress, sassy heels, and a mink coat that would make its counterparts jealous.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.

back at it again & biometrics for 200, please, Alex!

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back at it again

hopped into the hot seat–outta
practice for four years, but
took to it like riding a bike
again.

I knew I’d get the hang of
it as soon as I put hands
to keyboard and head to
tasks.

I am a people person who
people’d more than I should
today, and I didn’t spazz out,
I didn’t lose myself in the
deluge of patients rushing in
around lunchtime.

I kept my cool,
breathed several deep
breaths, and turned on
the charm I am most known for.

I crushed it.

biometrics for 200, please, Alex!

cell phone
biometrics, I’ll never
understand it.

another way of
verifying who I am,
the owner of this
phone…

I’d like my
dactylogram to save
after I appointed it
the best method
to this new age
madness.

however, every time
I attempt to break
through the locked
screen, my own
phone doesn’t
recognize me.

I guess it’ll have to
be a pattern or a
pin number instead.
the digital world
wins again.

Oh, nothing… I’m just out here being creative in Substack notes again.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.

The Beauty of Love and Creativity

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A Book Review

The most important items at that moment. Intersections by Jack Herlocker is my favorite, though.

There’s nothing quite like reading a book that makes you laugh, reflect, wonder about what it’s like to find the VERY person with whom you connect on a level no one else gets, and sink into poetic goodness, too! Intersections: Stories, Chats, Truths, and Verses, by Jack Herlocker, has all of this and more! Jack and I met on Medium (maybe 9 or 10 years ago?), where we dove right into each other’s work.

He’s always been such a cool cat who doted on his wife, shared stories about his life in the military, being married and then divorced, and married again, and also about his career in IT and as a technical writer, etc.

When I found out he had published a book by familiarizing myself with his Substack bio, I jumped at the opportunity to get it, and I was not disappointed. I knew I wouldn’t be. There’s something in this book for everyone.

The review for it on Amazon is below:

“A Quick Read That Has Lasting Effects

I had not been surprised when I beamed with elation and excitement upon the first few pages of Jack’s book. It’s classic Jack with a bit of humor, sadness, truth, and peace sprinkled throughout each page.

You’ll laugh out loud (I did so many times) from the section, “Chats with Deb”, be inspired by his short fiction, moved by his poetry, and locked in while reading the creative non-fiction. Jack is, as God would have it, a Jack of All Trades.

He doesn’t skimp on creativity, metaphorical blends, easy-to-digest scenarios, and entertainment. Reading this book made me remember how much I loved interacting with his work on Medium, and now, I get to do so again on Substack.

If you’re looking for a fun-filled quick read that will put you in a good mood, “Intersections” is truly the book you’ll want to get. It did not disappoint, and I knew it would not.”

For light-hearted reading with a splash of humor and reflection, this is the book for you. I know one day soon, I will pick it up again, and I’m certain I’ll find something new upon the next reading of it. It’s the kind of book one would never tire of reading, especially during these God-forsaken times in which we currently live.

We Should Probably Heed the Family Warning

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A Book Review

Too Much and Never Enough. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

Recently, I finished Mary L. Trump’s book, Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man, which I believe everyone in the United States should read. I sat with this book for a few weeks, savoring it. I did not want to rush through it, so I did not. I took everything in, digested all of it as best as I could, and I am happy that I spent as much time with it as I did.

I reviewed it both on Amazon and Goodreads, and the review is as follows:

“Every Family Has a Bit of Dysfunction

But the Trump Family, as it’s told by Mary L. Trump, Donald J. Trump’s niece, is on a whole other level of shadiness, greed, carelessness, and self-fulfilling tactics.

Mary, a Clinical Psychologist, posits that her uncle’s behavior didn’t simply evolve on its own, he had help. The culprit? Her grandfather, Fred Trump.

Donald was a puppet, a means to an end for her grandfather; someone he wanted to abide by his rules and show that he could carry on the family business in the most vindictive ways possible.

If Donald couldn’t satisfy his father’s requirements, his father’s love would be harder to obtain. Imagine knowing your entire life is a circus; that your performance is monitored and calculated, and if you don’t perform well, you mean nothing. You are nothing.

Reading this book gave me a better understanding of the current sitting president’s mental health, and a deeper look into his overall background as a member of the Trump Family.

I remembered his brother Freddy (Mary’s father) and tales of his demise before reading the book, and was recounting the story to my mother a couple months ago.

To thumb through every page pertaining to his involvement in his father’s business and how it brought about his dive into alcoholism and a slow rotting depression, made my heart ache.

If you’re an empath, you’ll read this book and walk away more knowledgeable about people-pleasing and the need to feed our parents’ curiosity into who they want their children to become. You’ll be left with the pain of this world because of the carelessness of a few.

Donald will never seek help from what his past has done to his present self. “Donald today is much as he is at three years old: incapable of growing, learning, or evolving, unable to regulate his emotions, moderate his response, or take in and synthesize information.”

And with this, we have a human being in the highest seat of the land (once again), performing theatrics and skirting around important issues because he is still living to please a person who is no longer alive; his father.

We are all at the mercy of a person who does not care about the American people and never will. The end goal for him is complete and utter power and the ultimate hierarchy status. Dictatorship. Kingship.

“If he can in any way, profit from your death, he’ll facilitate it, and then he’ll ignore the fact that you died.”

For a deeper understanding of the person America wanted as president yet again, I recommend this book. Learn about the mistake we made. Engross yourself in the damage you may have caused if he was your choice during this past presidential election.

Take a look at the baby trapped in an elderly man’s body whose sole purpose is to obliterate anything that stands in his way of getting everything he wants.

Did you make the right choice? I am certain Mary L. Trump, the author of this book and niece of Donald J. Trump, would say, “No, you did not.”‘

I do not say any of the above with a silver spoon tied to my mouth. I am a hard-working, low-level middle-class, Black, bisexual woman who lives in the South. Basically, I am everything Trump hates. My bones are completely and utterly tired of the drama seeping into my marrow from the daily antics of a man who “doesn’t know any better.” Donald is still operating as a child would; a teenager who will tantrum it out if he or she doesn’t get their way. This is what we’ve been gifted with Trump 2.0.

If you can sleep well at night knowing everything that has occurred since January 20, 2025, has your name stamped all over it, then you and I would not be kissing cousins or good buddies offline. It is telling of the type of person you are with regards to what you want for the American people, what you want for our allies, and any other human being living and breathing on this planet. That shit is contagious, and I don’t want it around me.

As for the book, I plan to read it again and maybe again after that. To know a niece could tell the world all about her uncle while he’s still alive, lets me know his past is his present, and he has no way of differentiating between the two, and we are all going to suffer because of it. We probably should have heeded her warning.

Something To Think About #16

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Living in “softness” is something many of us cannot afford, but should be able to experience, too.

“Taking the Soft Life for Myself,” that’s what I would name this photo if it were up to me. Courtesy of Pinterest.

Thank you for being here for the Something To Think About feature. These past sixteen weeks have been fun, informative, exciting, and hopeful. I appreciate your presence here at A Cornered Gurl, and I am grateful for each of you.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.