Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book & Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?
I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
To hear the words, “You have 20/20 vision,” and try to contain my emotion — keep my cool was a poor happenstance on my part. The emotion flowed out of me, and I am still overcome with it. I have keratoconus (as well as astigmatism in both eyes, and I am near-sighted), and I have been toggling between an Ophthalmologist/Corneal Specialist and an Optometrist (who specializes in corneal diseases) for four years. I have been wearing scleral contacts for three years… this, my third year, granted me 20/20 vision, something I had no immediate recognition of since I was about 12 years old.
It’s a blessing. It’s a wonder. It’s a miracle. I do not take it for granted, and I am thankful for everyone who has handled my vision care for the last four years. At this time, I do not have to have a procedure called Corneal Collagen Cross-linking to further assist with keratoconus, the contacts are doing — have been doing their job.
If I could properly describe what I am feeling right now, I would. But there are no words for it. NONE. I see God everywhere —literally now and figuratively, and He’s still on time.
To those of you who have been following my story about living with keratoconus since February of 2021, thank you for still being here. It’s been a long and tortuous journey, and I have had to make so many life changes to better enhance my vision, and I am so happy I did. I do not take any of it for granted, not one thing.
God is in the blessing business. I know because “he keeps on blessing me.” And just because this is one of my favorite gospel songs, I am sharing this version with you. Happy Thursday!
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
1. My best friend’s dogs; Bella-Rue (Baby B, on the left) and Stacey-Lou (Lil Miss Busy Body, on the right), and a pair of my glasses. Why did I choose this photo? On Tuesday, March 05, 2024, I had yet another follow-up on my eyes with my ophthalmologist to determine where we stand with keratoconus (a “rare” eye disease that currently affects about 200,000 people each year) and its progression in both eyes.
My right eye is still getting worse and now my left eye has decided to join the party and cave in as well. I have written at length and ad nauseam about my eye disease, and I am sincerely over it at this point.
As I type this, I am still hopeful and prayerful about a positive outcome, but it will not occur without moving forward with Collagen Cross-linking. We decided we would focus on the right eye first and when it has healed, a recheck on the left eye will occur, and if necessary, we will move forward with the procedure for it as well.
I am now in the waiting stages for my ophthalmologist’s office’s surgery scheduler to contact me so we can select a date for the procedure. Once the date is set, I can further assess the logistics of it all: who will take me, who will stay with me for about two days, and how much time I’ll need to take away from work.
It’s a risky business dealing with one’s eyes and invasive and/or surgical procedures, but it is what it will be, and I cannot do much about that now.
2. A Shirley Chisholm Quote. “Shirley Anita Chisholm was an American politician who, in 1968, became the first black woman to be elected to the United States Congress.” –Wikipedia
Not only was she a force to be reckoned with politically, but she fought fiercely for her rights and the rights of others in the United States.
From what I have learned about her, she never bit her tongue. She was forthcoming about any of her political plans and decisive about the goals she implemented for herself. She also ventured down the road of Presidency and became the first Black candidate to be nominated by a major party.
There is a biopic about her and it will release soon. The incredibly talented and gifted Regina King will be in character as Shirley Chisholm, and the movie is set to drop on March 15, 2024, and trust and believe, I will definitely be lending my coins to this fantastic production! The trailer for the SHIRLEY is below:
1. From my last eye exam and scleral contacts’ fitting, a new prescription was given to me since my right eye has gotten significantly worse.
Keratoconus is doing a number on it. Thus, my lenses are thicker, but my frames are so CUTE! These are the second new pair of glasses that I ordered from Zenni Optical because I love to have a backup pair just in case something happens to the main pair.
But I also switch them up to give myself a little visual pizzazz.
2. Jernee Timid finally wore her raincoat outside in the nasty weather we were having on Tuesday of this week.
The Little Monster usually only likes to put it on and stay inside. She’ll walk to the door and just stop. But on Tuesday, she wore her raincoat multiple times as we went out for her potty breaks and seemed to thoroughly enjoy it as well.
I had my follow-ups yesterday for my eyes.
For those of you who do not know, I have keratoconus.
Not good news, but not horrible news, either from each visit …
So, my right eye is getting progressively worse; the focus will be to move forward with a non-invasive procedure called Corneal Collagen Cross-linking for it and reassess my left eye over time.
I go in for another follow-up in March and on that date, we’ll start preparing to get scheduled for the procedure.
The procedure will not cure me of my disease (it is lifelong), but it is supposed to stop my right eye from getting much worse.
I went to my optometrist afterward so she could go over what my ophthalmologist reviewed and had more testing done, and she confirms my right eye is an issue. I had another prescription done for my glasses and another set of scleral contacts ordered.
I’m tired from it all, but there’s no need for me to not do the procedure. I am terrified because of course, these are my eyes we’re talking about, but I don’t want my right eye to get much worse over time, either.
I’m not happy about having to have this procedure, but I’d rather it be this one than a cornea transplant (Yes, it is exactly what it sounds like!).
I am taking all of this in stride as best as I can and I am hopeful that next year will render better results for me. I will keep you all updated as to when the procedure date will be and how everything goes afterward (after the recovery and my eye heals up enough to do so, of course).
I still have some time before one last recheck, so I am going to bask in that fact and try not to make myself insane thinking about it all. Lol!
And now, a poem. A Tanka, to be precise:
if you are lucky — blessed — you have
someone monitoring your health
as best as they can.
if you’re falling off in any way,
they’re there to pick you back up
and remind you, “There’s still
living to do.”
I now know the importance of
keeping my eyes shielded for
as long as I can.
wearing scleral contacts for at least
ten hours per day has helped my
left eye, however, my right
eye is progressing.
according to my optometrist, I’m
still in a range she thinks is “gradual”
and nothing to be concerned about
surgically, just yet.
she agrees with me that we
should allow the additional six months
and reassess in November to see
where I stand.
will my sight
continue to betray me or
will it slow its pace in progression
and stave off surgical procedures
for a few years or more?
I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
she also broke down Corneal Collagen Cross-linking
to me in a way that didn’t terrify me or
cause me to fear attending anymore
ophthalmology follow-up appointments.
she smiled gingerly and said, “I hate to say
this, but most surgeons are trained to give
you the worst-case scenario, and then I
have to . . . clean up the mess.”
I listened to her as each step was
explained, reiterated, and filtered to
my understanding, and I breathed a
sigh of relief.
if this procedure is needed by the end
of the year or later, I feel less worried
about the possibility of having it performed.
when one’s vision is steadily running
in the opposite direction of
the sighted, what does one do?
hope. pray. follow all necessary
precautions. pray some more.
purchase all the expensive items
necessary for the care and maintenance
of the $3,500.00 each, priced lenses.
Can’t let these go to waste, right?
and as I continue to lose my sight in
one eye, it is strengthening in the other.
what can this mean?
what does this mean?
is there even any meaning to it?
my optometrist is happy with
my vision as it stands currently.
I could see what I needed to see
and people, places, and things
are still sharper in my
line of sight.
it’s a small thing but a big thing, too.
I only wish you knew how much.
Originally published in A Cornered Gurl via Medium.
A Cornered Gurl 
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