Zumi Tye, my Red-Footed Tortoise, at 18 months old. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
my sweet, unsexed tortoise, grows quicker than the sun can set.
meals are three times per day now. at this rate, it’ll be draping over the sides of its terrarium in less than two years.
Zumi interacts with me; it licks the glass and moves its head from side to side at the sound of my voice.
I think it knows me. I think it loves me.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
you will most likely never find me in a horde of people looking as though I’m in a place that carries comfort.
If I am, I assure you, I’m forcing my body to be at peace, to try to enjoy my surroundings. I’m never at ease in those situations.
they are few. they are far between. the path leading to them fades away more as the years pile on to my age.
I am not who I used to be, I’m a new person in an old body. I’m both familiar and unfamiliar, and this is what intrigues you.
on our terms
the most difficult thing I experienced with Jernee during her decline were the lucid moments. I feared becoming looped into their trap.
she wasn’t the same, and I knew that, heart & soul, but sometimes my baby would look up at me as if she recognized my face, and I’d be putty in five seconds.
“it’s only going to get worse” became the anthem in my home, followed by, “this sounds like a brain tumor,” and with each regressive instance, I was reassured…
I cut death to the quick, and offered it a seat at the table.
if it was going to take my baby, it’d be on our terms. but was it, though?
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
Throwback cooking: I purchased a small can of Crisco All Vegetable Shortening because I was feeling nostalgic, and I’m glad I did. My fish tasted like crispy heaven, and my cheese grits were absolutely delicious! Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
a late lunch, early dinner after a day of work; overtime was easy to get, needed the distraction.
a full belly clapped in appreciation, my legs buckled twenty minutes after–naptime knocked at my temples, rest found me in a zone.
I needed the food. I needed the sleep.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
Spending my last 15 minutes with my baby, Jernee Timid, while she was in the twilight phase of her End-of-Life process. At this point, we were talking about Jernee’s character and how she was VERY MUCH a DIVA, and I am clearly not. We took time to laugh, too. Friday, September 12, 2025. Photo Credit: Karlie B. Cornelius
you didn’t know we needed to do a thorough walkthrough of your apartment to make sure the dog you say is dead is really… dead? it’s in your lease–a clause; once your pet has transitioned, in order to reverse any pet rent fees, we have to verify what needs to be verified.
silly me, here I was thinking the receipt from the vet’s office with the amount it costs for the euthanasia services would be enough. it’s not. you actually want to come to my unit, lay eyes on my private space, and look for a being who is no longer alive.
be my guest.
I’d say inconsiderate. I’d say insensitive. but this feels like garbage–the icky kind that bulges up at the bottom of the bin and sticks to the corners of it when the city comes to dump the contents in their truck. I comply. after all, we must follow the rules.
I make the request to delete my information from the PetSmart app, submit my request to deactivate Chewy, and issue a note to PetScreening that asks you to select the reason the account is no longer necessary. “Jernee Timid has passed away.” “I have re-homed Jernee Timid.” “Jernee Timid has run away.” “This profile for Jernee Timid is a duplicate.” “I am no longer residing at the associated property.”
I select the first option. I am prompted to confirm what I have selected–make sure I’m not a robot. I click submit and watch the words flash across the screen regarding how this company will make my apartment community’s property manager aware of the information I submitted to them.
everyone wants to be sure my baby has zero breaths left…that she really is taking a dirt nap, and have I really lost the best thing that has happened to my heart since learning how to love?
I could not have prepared myself for erasure of this magnitude. Jernee’s not here, but she is. Jernee’s not here, but she is. Jernee’s not here, but everyone believes that she is.
and my heart knows she is not. but my heart has a special place for her where she will always linger… and the boot soles of capitalism may take her away from me on paper, but they’ll never strip her away from the lining of a muscle that beats strongly for her in life and in death.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
The Lone Old Faithful. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
On my boss’s land, there are Old Faithfuls resting, one day–they’ll be restored and re-introduced to the crazy roads of North Carolina.
I smiled as I walked around hours of land, taking in the beauty of their full-bodied presence. Soon, there will be hands prepping them for new life.
I stumbled upon one with a rustic vibe–tucked neatly in a corner of land far away from the others. Is this one special, I thought…
Why else would it be given its own slice of God’s creation, while all the others fight for space?
Could it be The Chosen One?
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
Jernee’s toys. The only thing that is not going to AARFis the stuffed monkey. It will be buried with Jernee Timid. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
gathered the grand clan for donation, only a few didn’t make the cut–wear and tear met them where they stood.
other pets will have a chance to tackle a toy now that Jernee will no longer need them.
blankets, beds, a few items of clothing, and her crate are in the mix, too.
our home is the only lived-in space that will forever hold her scent, and I can’t give that away.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
A Cornered Gurl 
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