Category: Pain

The Emptiness of Regret: Cinquain, 3 Parts

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Trust me
Loving you is
Bad for my health, I know–
You are only built to destroy
Not love.

Knowing
This is better.
Peace rains down on me now
That I am aware of your ways
Relieved.

To heal
Is to love with
Less weight on my shoulders
If that means losing you for good–
There’s hope.

The Gift of Humanity

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manwithdog
Courtesy of Jon/Flickr

I see them
He has his four-legged buddy
Pulled close to his chest
The two of them
Down
But 
Not
Out

And the tears well up
Inside me
I break a 20-dollar-bill
When I purchase my coffee
And give him what I can

The dog–
A wagging tail,
Happy to see someone stop
And pay him a decent amount
Of attention
The young man–
Young, but old, tired–
Torn

He 
Has
On
The pants of our
Nation, yet he isn’t
Fighting anymore.

I hide my tears when talking
To him. I save them for later.
I pull off,
Knowing that tomorrow
I’ll probably stop by
Just because
I can.

It’s my gift to him
For being a brother
Struggling alongside
His best friend who wouldn’t
Stray away if someone
Wanted nothing more than to
Scoop him up and shower him with
Toys.

He is his own version of
Humanity, sitting
Waiting
For 
His 
Luck
To change.

Author’s Note: Just as I was pulling into Starbucks, I glanced across the street to the McDonald’s parking lot and just behind all of the commotion, tucked in neatly by the trees was a young man, his belongings, and his dog. I don’t handle seeing anyone less fortunate than myself well at all. I tear up, I get extremely sad and I want very much to help everyone, it’s one of the reasons why I volunteer at one of the local homeless shelters here in my area. It’s one of the reasons why I do what I can when I am out and about and someone needs, truly needs help. His dog, a pit-bull mix, friendly pup, jumped up to my car window as I talked to the young man. He had on army-wear with a matching cap, and a jacket. I tried my best not to cry in front of him and as soon as I pulled off, I let the tears flow. I have been shaking them off since I got back home and I just give up. I am a bumbling, fumbling mess now. But, my presence, my gift to him, our short conversation, was a blessing to not only him, but to me as well. I don’t care what you do today, take a moment to be thankful for what you have. Then take ten more to be thankful for everything you know you’ve ever been blessed with when you needed it most.

Peace and blessings.

Covered

trE

 

Courtesy of Vincent Van Gogh

When you are a young “Child of God,” in a family of his older children, no one tells you that being different is wrong. No one has to. You know it without words slithering into form or braving the wild storms that swirl in your head.

You shelter yourself. You hide behind notebooks, play sports, befriend a flute, or mother children that come long after you. But you don’t say who you are. You don’t show it, either.

Everyone has their opinion of what and who you will become. They design a life for you that encompasses change, but includes their beliefs and straying away from those would further alienate you from the flock.

Where does a sheep go when it’s afraid of losing its home?

Labels… You run away from them. It is easy to pass the ball or alley-oop it off to someone else and watch them dunk what you cannot. They land on their feet, relieved of the weight. You stand by witnessing what could be you, but fear of isolation is bigger than the removal of burdens.

So you cover yourself with words and lose yourself in their embrace. Layers of your past flood the pages. But you still haven’t said what needs to be said. Life is waiting for you to back it up.

Where does a sheep go when it’s afraid of losing its home?

Nowhere.