Death during a pandemic

NaPoWriMo #24

Today was supposed to be my day off, however, I was called by one of my coworkers to come in and relieve our other coworker whose grandmother suddenly died–found in the home dead. Of course, no one should expect her to work through the day with this type of weight on her shoulders, but from what I am told, my supervisor expected it. I asked the coworker who called me to please give me time to wash my scrubs, get up and get going, walk Jernee, and get both of us fed, and I would be there. *sighs*

The last thing I’d want anyone to do during an already stressful time is to attempt to work in a stressful environment with death during a pandemic hanging over their heads. Count your blessings, people. Pray for others. Help whenever and however you can. Small things turn into big things, trust me. Peace.

But, how do we stop a world of hate

When the world does not yet know how to love?

“Trump Attacks Transgender Health Care”

“Access to care is hard now. Religious ‘liberty’ is set to make it worse.”

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

“Transgender people have serious problems accessing quality health care. The Trump Administration is about to make it even harder.

Think physicians and other medical professionals honor their Hippocratic oaths and treat their patients equally and neutrally? The Center for American Progress (CAP) wants you to know that’s not true — not with LGBTQ people at least.

They conducted a comprehensive survey in 2017 and found that 8% of gay people report being refused medical treatment because of their sexual orientation.

That’s bad enough, but a full 29 percent of transgender people said a doctor or other health care provider refused to see them because of their actual or perceived gender identity. Twenty-one percent said a doctor or other health care provider used harsh or abusive language when treating them.”

The excerpt you see above was written by Medium Writer, James Finn. I have mentioned him several times in this space as he is an advocate for the LGBTQ community and seems to get no rest in his efforts for speaking out against hatred and all common indecencies against mankind. I have sat with his article, of which, I will post the link to shortly so that you can read it in its entirety, but first–how? No, really… how can you work your heart in such a way to deny someone different from you healthcare? Or, the very resources and ways that will alleviate an illness or an ailment of any kind? Why… Why would you design a plan to pass a law that will aid physicians who hold conservative beliefs and (in my opinion) garner hate to possibly maintain the right to openly denounce Hippocratic oaths and not serve people who are LGBTQ?

I am sitting here trying to prevent myself from crying because the ache is incredibly strong. Those who base their opinions on that of a Godly source are sadly mistaken in what God wants. They do not know their Bible or they interpret their Bible entirely different from what is written. The second most greatest commandment given to believers and those willing to follow is to, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Matthew 22: 39. The pain of reading this article is so heavy that I at first, did not know what to say or how to respond. I still have not, but I will do so on that post with this blog entry’s link. *sighs* I try to be a source of light–of love. I try to understand all who are different from me. I try to listen, to learn, and to care.

I cannot fathom denying someone a bare minimum human act. At my job, we are under the umbrella of an astounding organization that prides itself on diversity and inclusion and being in the medical field, no one–and I can tell you for a fact, no one in our facility will deny anyone healthcare based on their sexual orientation or any other status that lawmakers feel is out of their accepted realm. We are there to provide care. We are there to give you a sense of comfort, to alleviate stress, to aid in the betterment of your condition, and we MUST DO THAT or we will be fired. There are no ifs, ands, and buts about the situation. We knew this before accepting our roles and that is what WE OUGHT TO DO.

“Religious liberty? Since when is religion about hurting people?”

If you can call yourself a child of God and your aim is to hurt his children, then the very words you let spill from your lips are hypocrisy. God does not honor hate. God does not honor man. God does not honor a sense of selfishness. God honors love and you as his child, as a believer, are supposed to love. SIMPLE AND PLAIN. These days, I am losing strength and a bit of faith in humanity, but I am trying not to shut down. These days, I do not know this America.

These days, I do not want to know this America, nothing about it is great.


*The full article written by James Finn can be found here:

Trump Attacks Transgender Health Care

You may not understand why this is important, but I am living day to day praying that I am not personally targeted while my brothers and sisters are. It’s despicable and it ought to be outlawed. Change, real change–is long overdue.



Courtesy of Frederick Hart/Vietnam Veterans Memorial

They come for them while they are still growing into skin. Their flesh stretching, becoming something new. Little pieces of heartache dipped in twisted lips and contorted positions. They launch rockets, send baby men to the angry sea.

Its mouth willing to swallow them whole.

They knock on your door with pocketed folded flags, prepared to tell you about his “job well done” and you stand on shaky feet knowing but not wanting to know. Your heart is liquid. It slides down your legs and forms a puddle before them.

The flag is given to you with a smile and a practiced speech—prompted condolences. You want to say, “Thank you for your service,” but you have forgotten how to do it without turning into a human being stripped of everything that matters.

They salute you. You are the receiver of his praise, for dying for a country that stopped caring for his life the moment he stepped on the front lines. But, you have been serviced. You have your perfectly folded flag as a reminder and the prompted condolences too.

There’s just one thing missing, though.
And he’s not coming back.

Originally published on Medium.

The Gift of Humanity


Courtesy of Jon/Flickr

I see them
He has his four-legged buddy
Pulled close to his chest
The two of them

And the tears well up
Inside me
I break a 20-dollar-bill
When I purchase my coffee
And give him what I can

The dog–
A wagging tail,
Happy to see someone stop
And pay him a decent amount
Of attention
The young man–
Young, but old, tired–

The pants of our
Nation, yet he isn’t
Fighting anymore.

I hide my tears when talking
To him. I save them for later.
I pull off,
Knowing that tomorrow
I’ll probably stop by
Just because
I can.

It’s my gift to him
For being a brother
Struggling alongside
His best friend who wouldn’t
Stray away if someone
Wanted nothing more than to
Scoop him up and shower him with

He is his own version of
Humanity, sitting
To change.

Author’s Note: Just as I was pulling into Starbucks, I glanced across the street to the McDonald’s parking lot and just behind all of the commotion, tucked in neatly by the trees was a young man, his belongings, and his dog. I don’t handle seeing anyone less fortunate than myself well at all. I tear up, I get extremely sad and I want very much to help everyone, it’s one of the reasons why I volunteer at one of the local homeless shelters here in my area. It’s one of the reasons why I do what I can when I am out and about and someone needs, truly needs help. His dog, a pit-bull mix, friendly pup, jumped up to my car window as I talked to the young man. He had on army-wear with a matching cap, and a jacket. I tried my best not to cry in front of him and as soon as I pulled off, I let the tears flow. I have been shaking them off since I got back home and I just give up. I am a bumbling, fumbling mess now. But, my presence, my gift to him, our short conversation, was a blessing to not only him, but to me as well. I don’t care what you do today, take a moment to be thankful for what you have. Then take ten more to be thankful for everything you know you’ve ever been blessed with when you needed it most.

Peace and blessings.



Fading Away/Courtesy of Kimran Farooq–DeviantArt

Strength is uncommon
It manifests in
Presumptuous ways, claiming
To feed your tortured soul

Yet you lose inches
Of a dying heart
To an ill-fated diagnosis
That the world’s most
Renown devotees of medicine
Pencil in on a chart

You become the medical
Instead of a human being
You become the thing
Before them, but they
Still think you are alive.

You haven’t been
In years.