Category: Pain

it’s still grief

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a photo reel of Jernee as a puppy & a poem

Jernee Timid Loadholt: The puppy and younger years. Photo Reel Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

it’s still grief

no one prepares you
for the ache you’ll feel
each time digital
“memories” pop
into view… the love
lost will always be
found.

grieving a deceased
pet is often frowned
upon–not
recognized or
centered as a
genuine loss. and I
wonder, how can you
categorize death into
a hierarchy?

pain is pain is pain
is pain.

Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book & Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing, as I discuss recent events related to my previous place of employment, including racism and discrimination, the growth I experienced after resigning from that company, and the foibles and overall experiences of life. I welcome your visit.

a means to an end & a body for sale (on clearance)

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Two poems shared on Substack notes

Fictional character Dr. Temperance “Bones” Brennan as a cartoon. Created with Google Gemini

a means to an end

Bones… a show I
can watch over and
over again–the
reruns are salve;
balm for my
crowded mind–a
distraction.

sometimes, on
heavy days, a
distraction is what
I need.

to witness complex
cases, albeit fatal
fiction, I disappear
in their plot twists
and fall victim to
their endings.

funny how the things
that gross me out
in my dreams
invigorate me while
I’m awake.

who’s murdering
who is more than
a pertinent question,
it’s a means to
an end.

AI-Generated Image: A Black woman with locs, wearing glasses, semi-doubled over in pain.

a body for sale (on clearance)

I’m at an age now
when a hard and
awkward sleep can
throw my back out
or a sneeze from the
depths of my soul
can summon
tinnitus.

the body is a weird
thing to observe.
how fragile we can
become when we
think we’re at our
strongest.

we can be swiftly
reminded of just how
easy it is to injure
oneself without
force or torture.
depreciating value…

like a brand new
vehicle the moment
you drive it off the
lot.

clearanced and
marked down,
wanted only
because we’re now
cost-effective and a
hot commodity.

everyone wants the
cheapest version of
you.

Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book & Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing, as I discuss recent events related to my previous place of employment, including racism and discrimination, the growth I experienced after resigning from that company, and the foibles and overall experiences of life. I welcome your visit.

“Cuz My Heart Can’t Hurt Nobody”

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Good Intentions by Lady Harmony

Good Intentions by Lady Harmony via YouTube

“And if I ever hurt you, I’m asking you
To charge it to my head and not my heart.”

Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book & Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.

Scattered Words

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Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt

The cover (front and back) for Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt. Photo Collage Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

4 sections. 24 poems. 9 original photos (digitally animated by Google Gemini). 40 pages. 1 dog who is no longer with us.

The tentative publishing date is January 12, 2026, four months after Jernee’s passing.

In Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt, the author wants you, the reader, to experience Jernee in totality, and understand why she has lost the greatest companion she has ever known.

If you have ever grieved the loss of a pet, many of these poems will not only resonate with you, they will set up holding spaces in your mind, crawl into your heart, and retreat only when they have been commanded to do so.

You will laugh, cry, nod in agreement, and reminisce about your furry family member(s) and how they have become your strength. Grief is not linear, and every creeping moment it decides to invade your heart, there is a poem in this book to greet it.

In Scattered Words…, Tremaine celebrated, lamented, grieved, loved, and released Jernee Timid Loadholt. Every day, she will probably do these things again—not necessarily in that order.

If you have never met a dog who had the uncanny ability to be more memorable than some of the people you know, with this book of poems, you will have your chance.

God gifted me peace in living form, and I will never forget her, not ever.

Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book & Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.

Jernee Timid Will Have a Book, Too

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I am writing, compiling, and gathering poems in honor of my baby girl

Jernee Timid as a puppy. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt, Enhanced/Cartoonized by Google Gemini

I am working on a book of poems for Jernee Timid, in memory of her life and the incredible loss I’ve experienced. I am no stranger to sifting through poems; picking and choosing pieces that make the cut, and culling others that do not. These poems, though… something about not including them—the ones not making the cut, feels wrong—feels spiteful. I cannot explain it.

I wrote them during her life. I wrote them after she died. They all have a little bit of her wrapped up in them, and I can’t see myself not having them be a part of something as significant as a dedication to her time spent on earth alongside me.

The cover photo for the book is shown above. I decided to use a photo of her as a puppy, enhancing it using AI to give it a more cartoon-like feel, because the content that follows may or may not be easy to digest.

I have always written through pain—the death of my favorite companion is no different. I am writing through it. I will continue to write through it for as long as I need to do so. Jernee would understand that. Heck, The Little Monster might’ve even appreciated it.

There is a title (I will share it as time gets closer to the publishing date), and I plan to release the book in early February of next year, or toward the end of this year. It truly depends on how I feel. Who would I be if I did not publish a book of poems for the greatest love of my life? Not Tre, I can tell you that.

I will keep all of you updated.

Peace and blessings.

Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book & Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.

smelling death

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Jernee Timid, losing all of her energy after the initial injection on her last day with us. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

near the end, I think
my neighbor’s dog could
smell death on Jernee–could
identify she didn’t have long.

and every time I saw them
walking toward us, I’d stiffen.
my body would become a
tabernacle–solid and silent.

he’d sniff his friend, searching
Jernee for evidence of life,
and when he didn’t find it,
he’d whine to his mom.

it wasn’t until Jernee’s last
couple of days on this earth
that I realized Winnie, in his
own way, had already mourned
Jernee’s life.

he’d been greeting her death,
and I just didn’t want to
believe it.

Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book & Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.