Mythomania & What Was I Thinking?

Two poems shared via Substack notes

Mythomania

Back when I didn’t
overthink things, I
loved a woman who
lied so much,
mythomania could
have been her
middle name.

We were never going
to make it.
I made up stories
for entertainment;
she made up stories
to cover her ass.

Eventually, one of us
was going to break,
and one of us did.


Baby Tre in a fighter pose. I have no clue who took this photo, perhaps one of the hospital nurses or a family member? April 17, 1980.

What Was I Thinking?

I must’ve known the
world would be a
battlefield.

At a few hours old,
I’d already prepared
myself to fight;
hands squared into
position of
protection.

What was I thinking
as I dreamed
alongside a mother
who pushed me into
being?

Could I have been
dreaming of ways to
right wrongs without
a working definition
of them?

Did I know about all
of the nastiness
dripping from the
hearts of men, and
how that coldness
would shift God’s
creations—morph
them into living
devils?

Many ages passed
me by, and now, I
find myself standing
atiptoe, waiting for
change that doesn’t
look like it’s going
to come.


Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook

Guard Your Empathy

A Book Review

The Cruelty by Candice Louisa Daquin. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

If I can be completely and utterly honest, there are probably about six books I can recall from my entire lifetime that have shaken me to the very core and left my mouth agape while I read them, and long after, when I think about them. The Cruelty by Candice Louisa Daquin has been added to that small collection.

As a debut novel, I expected more turns of phrase and moments of slipping into poetry, since this is the author’s main genre, and although there are bits of poetic cameos, this is definitely a novel through and through.

The gory and thoroughly brutal details are so vivid, I cringed during many chapters, and was forced to take my fair share of breaks to avoid sensory overload.

My patience and empathy were tested.

I wanted to fight, to jump into various scenes with guns a-blazing, to light the demon and his demon spawn on fire and watch them burn—anything to provide aid to the story’s protagonists, but they clearly did not need my help.

I got lost in every inch of every page of this book, and I know for a fact that other readers will, too.

Here is the review I shared on Amazon and Goodreads:

The “Cruelty” is an Understatement

I don’t think I’ve ever read something as emotionally stressful, yet incredibly engulfing and enveloping as “The Cruelty.” As her debut novel, Candice Louisa Daquin unleashes an undeniably sound writing style incorporating gore with poetically flowing imagery that managed to keep me glued to the storyline—afraid to look away, but also having to take a few breaks to be able to fully digest the content.

What both Camila and Julia endured surpasses True Crime and Unsolved Mystery episodes. And to come out on top and in love, with hopes of a flourishing future?! That is the Chef’s kiss I didn’t see coming.

I applaud the author for taking a chance on this novel and sharing its intense content. The bite of it is sharp and long-standing, and the characters are layered; feeling like family or the creepy neighbors of which one steers clear.

The way the novel ends signals there could be a sequel? And in all honesty, I am eager to see if that will come to fruition.

After taking a deep dive into a book that is so creatively woven to hit several genres of writing, I now wonder, what would top this?

Will Candice Louisa Daquin give us another piece of Camila’s puzzled life?

I surely hope so.

If you’re looking for a rape-revenge, intense survivor thriller, and a warranted cliffhanger, this should be your next read. You will need a solid stomach for gore, vulgarity, and vivid descriptions that fit extreme levels of mental, physical, and emotional abuse.

This page-turner will do more than enthrall you; it will change you forever.


Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook

it’s still grief

a photo reel of Jernee as a puppy & a poem

Jernee Timid Loadholt: The puppy and younger years. Photo Reel Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

it’s still grief

no one prepares you
for the ache you’ll feel
each time digital
“memories” pop
into view… the love
lost will always be
found.

grieving a deceased
pet is often frowned
upon–not
recognized or
centered as a
genuine loss. and I
wonder, how can you
categorize death into
a hierarchy?

pain is pain is pain
is pain.


Have you gotten your copy of SéduireSerial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing, as I discuss recent events related to my previous place of employment, including racism and discrimination, the growth I experienced after resigning from that company, and the foibles and overall experiences of life. I welcome your visit.

a means to an end & a body for sale (on clearance)

Two poems shared on Substack notes

Fictional character Dr. Temperance “Bones” Brennan as a cartoon. Created with Google Gemini

a means to an end

Bones… a show I
can watch over and
over again–the
reruns are salve;
balm for my
crowded mind–a
distraction.

sometimes, on
heavy days, a
distraction is what
I need.

to witness complex
cases, albeit fatal
fiction, I disappear
in their plot twists
and fall victim to
their endings.

funny how the things
that gross me out
in my dreams
invigorate me while
I’m awake.

who’s murdering
who is more than
a pertinent question,
it’s a means to
an end.


AI-Generated Image: A Black woman with locs, wearing glasses, semi-doubled over in pain.

a body for sale (on clearance)

I’m at an age now
when a hard and
awkward sleep can
throw my back out
or a sneeze from the
depths of my soul
can summon
tinnitus.

the body is a weird
thing to observe.
how fragile we can
become when we
think we’re at our
strongest.

we can be swiftly
reminded of just how
easy it is to injure
oneself without
force or torture.
depreciating value…

like a brand new
vehicle the moment
you drive it off the
lot.

clearanced and
marked down,
wanted only
because we’re now
cost-effective and a
hot commodity.

everyone wants the
cheapest version of
you.


Have you gotten your copy of SéduireSerial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing, as I discuss recent events related to my previous place of employment, including racism and discrimination, the growth I experienced after resigning from that company, and the foibles and overall experiences of life. I welcome your visit.

“Cuz My Heart Can’t Hurt Nobody”

Good Intentions by Lady Harmony

Good Intentions by Lady Harmony via YouTube

“And if I ever hurt you, I’m asking you
To charge it to my head and not my heart.”


Have you gotten your copy of SéduireSerial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.

Scattered Words

Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt

The cover (front and back) for Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt. Photo Collage Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

4 sections. 24 poems. 9 original photos (digitally animated by Google Gemini). 40 pages. 1 dog who is no longer with us.

The tentative publishing date is January 12, 2026, four months after Jernee’s passing.

In Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt, the author wants you, the reader, to experience Jernee in totality, and understand why she has lost the greatest companion she has ever known.

If you have ever grieved the loss of a pet, many of these poems will not only resonate with you, they will set up holding spaces in your mind, crawl into your heart, and retreat only when they have been commanded to do so.

You will laugh, cry, nod in agreement, and reminisce about your furry family member(s) and how they have become your strength. Grief is not linear, and every creeping moment it decides to invade your heart, there is a poem in this book to greet it.

In Scattered Words…, Tremaine celebrated, lamented, grieved, loved, and released Jernee Timid Loadholt. Every day, she will probably do these things againnot necessarily in that order.

If you have never met a dog who had the uncanny ability to be more memorable than some of the people you know, with this book of poems, you will have your chance.


God gifted me peace in living form, and I will never forget her, not ever.


Have you gotten your copy of SéduireSerial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.