Throwback cooking: I purchased a small can of Crisco All Vegetable Shortening because I was feeling nostalgic, and I’m glad I did. My fish tasted like crispy heaven, and my cheese grits were absolutely delicious! Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
a late lunch, early dinner after a day of work; overtime was easy to get, needed the distraction.
a full belly clapped in appreciation, my legs buckled twenty minutes after–naptime knocked at my temples, rest found me in a zone.
I needed the food. I needed the sleep.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
A writing buddy had the above book delivered to me on Saturday, September 13, 2025. I’d viewed my camera/doorbell’s activity while I was visiting with my mother and noticed someone leaving a package. I hadn’t ordered anything, so my mind began racing about what it could be. Shortly after, I recalled a lovely and talented writing friend of mine requesting my mailing address; confirming it, really, and a lightbulb flickered.
Part of me wanted to get home to see what it could possibly be, and the other part of me wanted to remain right where I was with my mom, so as to not shed any more tears for the weekend.
I was happy to see the above book. Although I would mark the age range for this book for children, ages 4-12, anyone can benefit from reading Dog Heaven. It gave me all the feels and lifted me up during my deepest moments of sorrow.
After recently losing my sweet Little Monster of 17 years, I came home from visiting my mom and found this book at my door.
A writing buddy of mine had it sent to me. Knowing my connection and love for my dog, she thought it would be the perfect gesture. Someone she knows had the same book delivered to her shortly after she dealt with the loss of her dog.
Dog Heaven not only made me smile, but it calmed my heart. It allowed me to shed a few tears while reflecting on the best memories I have of my time spent with my little one. It made me believe my purpose was fulfilled with my dog.
Chock full of happy feelings, sweet illustrations, and a loving storyline for everyone to enjoy, Dog Heaven is a great book to gift to someone grieving and dealing with a fresh loss of their pet.
It’s a tiny glimmer of hope, sprinkled with joy, and wrapped in love.
Grief is going to continue to come in waves. Mourning will only be as beautiful and self-serving as I will allow it, but this book… this book helped me immediately after the change in my life felt like real change.
If you know anyone dealing with the loss of their pet, I recommend this book. It is truly near and dear to my heart now, and I could not have asked for anything better.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
Spending my last 15 minutes with my baby, Jernee Timid, while she was in the twilight phase of her End-of-Life process. At this point, we were talking about Jernee’s character and how she was VERY MUCH a DIVA, and I am clearly not. We took time to laugh, too. Friday, September 12, 2025. Photo Credit: Karlie B. Cornelius
you didn’t know we needed to do a thorough walkthrough of your apartment to make sure the dog you say is dead is really… dead? it’s in your lease–a clause; once your pet has transitioned, in order to reverse any pet rent fees, we have to verify what needs to be verified.
silly me, here I was thinking the receipt from the vet’s office with the amount it costs for the euthanasia services would be enough. it’s not. you actually want to come to my unit, lay eyes on my private space, and look for a being who is no longer alive.
be my guest.
I’d say inconsiderate. I’d say insensitive. but this feels like garbage–the icky kind that bulges up at the bottom of the bin and sticks to the corners of it when the city comes to dump the contents in their truck. I comply. after all, we must follow the rules.
I make the request to delete my information from the PetSmart app, submit my request to deactivate Chewy, and issue a note to PetScreening that asks you to select the reason the account is no longer necessary. “Jernee Timid has passed away.” “I have re-homed Jernee Timid.” “Jernee Timid has run away.” “This profile for Jernee Timid is a duplicate.” “I am no longer residing at the associated property.”
I select the first option. I am prompted to confirm what I have selected–make sure I’m not a robot. I click submit and watch the words flash across the screen regarding how this company will make my apartment community’s property manager aware of the information I submitted to them.
everyone wants to be sure my baby has zero breaths left…that she really is taking a dirt nap, and have I really lost the best thing that has happened to my heart since learning how to love?
I could not have prepared myself for erasure of this magnitude. Jernee’s not here, but she is. Jernee’s not here, but she is. Jernee’s not here, but everyone believes that she is.
and my heart knows she is not. but my heart has a special place for her where she will always linger… and the boot soles of capitalism may take her away from me on paper, but they’ll never strip her away from the lining of a muscle that beats strongly for her in life and in death.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
The Lone Old Faithful. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
On my boss’s land, there are Old Faithfuls resting, one day–they’ll be restored and re-introduced to the crazy roads of North Carolina.
I smiled as I walked around hours of land, taking in the beauty of their full-bodied presence. Soon, there will be hands prepping them for new life.
I stumbled upon one with a rustic vibe–tucked neatly in a corner of land far away from the others. Is this one special, I thought…
Why else would it be given its own slice of God’s creation, while all the others fight for space?
Could it be The Chosen One?
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
Part IV: Jernee’s final bow; a sweet girl until the end.
The burial site, getting my girl all ready for an eternal dirt rest. Video captured by Tremaine L. Loadholt
Jernee and I, during the twilight phase of her rest before the final two doses to end her life. Photo Credit: Karen E. Mitchell
A kiss and some loving while Jernee was in a peaceful sleep. Photo Credit: Karen E. Mitchell
One final kiss to send my baby off. Photo Credit: Karen E. Mitchell
Jernee Timid right before the Vet and staff proceeded with her end-of-life process. Photo Credit: Karen E. Mitchell
Jernee has not had a full night’s rest in about a month. She snored so loudly during her twilight phase of this process. I could tell it was the best sleep ever. Photo Credit: Karen E. Mitchell
While we spent our final moments with Jernee, our vet’s office staff turned the light on to this box so the other patrons/pet owners could be aware and act accordingly. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
My Center Manager’s father-in-law made this grave marker for Jernee Timid. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Jernee’s final resting place… On my Center Manager’s land, under a huge tree that gets a lot of shade. I think she will be VERY happy here. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Karen and I. She flew up for this day. She wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Our eyes are puffy because we had been crying. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
The box we buried her in. Simple. Sleek. Just the right size. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Tomorrow, I will spend some much-needed time with my mom in Greensboro, NC. It is her birthday weekend. She has mentioned I should not be worried about her, but birthdays are special to me, and I need to get out. The silence in my home is deafening, and I will have to get used to it, but… I want to live a little bit before sitting in the reality of what is now my life–one without Jernee Timid Loadholt.
For those of you who have been on this journey with my baby girl and I for seventeen years (or at least 5 to 10 of them), thank you. I hope you have come to know my sweet girl through me, and that she has touched you, too.
There will never be another dog like her, and I am in no hurry to get another one. I want to sit with the feel and quiet of the lack of Jernee around for quite some time. I donated so many of her belongings today: bowls, toys, collars & leashes, beds, clothing, and her crate. So many other pets will benefit from what we had to offer.
I will leave you with an excerpt from the most recent article I’ve shared about Jernee on Substack:
Overall, this day has been a journey of a lifetime. Now that I am without Jernee, what will I do? Who will I be? Where will my heart lead me next? I don’t know about all of you, but I am in no hurry to find out.
Laying Jernee to rest after a month of decline, illness, and constant changes to her mental state, I can finally breathe. Will I sleep soundly tonight? I do not know, but I welcome it if it is on the way.
I just lost the love of my life. I will never be the same. But isn’t that the purpose of something that changes you for the better—for you not to be the same once they have passed on… I think so.
I am who Jernee needed me to be, and with her death, I will have to be who I need me to be.
The circle of life bows with or without an encore.
Jernee’s toys. The only thing that is not going to AARFis the stuffed monkey. It will be buried with Jernee Timid. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
gathered the grand clan for donation, only a few didn’t make the cut–wear and tear met them where they stood.
other pets will have a chance to tackle a toy now that Jernee will no longer need them.
blankets, beds, a few items of clothing, and her crate are in the mix, too.
our home is the only lived-in space that will forever hold her scent, and I can’t give that away.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
A Cornered Gurl 
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