Tag: Photography

better at home & we all feel, and he didn’t + Jill Scott

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Two poems shared on Substack notes

Homemade salad: diced chicken tenders, cucumbers, onions, tomatoes, blueberries, spinach, & Colby Jack cheese. I drizzled the ranch dressing onto the salad after I took the photo. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

better at home

fresh fruits and veggies
diced chicken tenders with cheese
creamy ranch dressing

AI-Generated Image: A Black man dressed handsomely in a jean jacket, cream-colored shirt, and jeans, standing on a porch in front of a door. He has a pensive look on his face.

we all feel, and he didn’t

he was too
equanimous. you
maybe thinking,
“that’s not a good thing?”
and I’m obligated to tell you
that I needed someone who
would explode with anger if
the world caved in on him…
eventually.

I needed to know that he could cry,
would cry if his heart
were crushed with grief.
but he didn’t know
tears—he hadn’t been open
enough to let them cleanse him,
and I couldn’t continue to love a
man who wouldn’t emote.

I understand strength, the rearing
of holding back emotion when you
can release it was
always weakness to me.
I wanted to know that
if I broke down, he could break down
with me, and we’d lift each other up.

but in a world that
tells a man to be
stone in order to be
loved, he couldn’t
hear my cries.

Jill Scott—Pressha

Scattered Words: Hardcover $26.00 USD|Scattered Words: eBook $11.00 USD|Scattered Words: Amazon

Scattered Words Is On Amazon and Goodreads!

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Grief hasn’t made me hollow; it’s helping me grow.

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt, next to a painting of The Little Monster by K. L. Laettner, on one of my bookshelves. Photo by Tremaine L. Loadholt

I did not think this would happen as quickly as it did, but here we are… Global distribution of Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt has been approved and is now available to purchase on Amazon and for review on Goodreads!

I had prepared myself for a long wait; however, I did not have to wait incredibly long to see the book I produced from pain, sorrow, grief, and joy for my beloved Jernee Timid.

About the book:

In Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt, the author wants you, the reader, to experience Jernee in totality and understand why she has lost the greatest companion she has ever known. If you have ever grieved the loss of a pet, many of these poems will not only resonate with you, they will set up holding spaces in your mind, crawl into your heart, and retreat only when they have been commanded to do so.

You will laugh, cry, nod in agreement, and reminisce about your furry family member(s) and how they have become your strength. Grief is not linear, and every creeping moment it decides to invade your heart, there is a poem in this book to greet it.

In Scattered Words…, Tremaine celebrated, lamented, grieved, loved, and released Jernee Timid Loadholt. Every day, she will probably do these things again—not necessarily in that order.

If you have never met a dog who had the uncanny ability to be more memorable than some of the people you know, with this book of poems, you will have your chance.

The photography is in color and cartoonized. The font is big enough for those of us with visual impairments and aging eyes to see. The cover is a hard one… I want this book to stand the test of time and any possible minor damage that could occur to it. It is 8.5 x 11, durable, engaging, and one you can share with your friends, family, children, grandchildren, and students.

Thank you so much for your undying support. However you wish to purchase it, if ever you wish to purchase it, I am forever grateful.

Scattered Words: Hardcover $26.00 USD|Scattered Words: eBook $11.00 USD|Scattered Words: Amazon

Life In Photos #10

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Daily photographic musings

Snow day dinner #1. Monday, January 26, 2026. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Snow day dinner #2. Monday, January 26, 2026. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
View from the 5th floor on a snow day. Sunday, February 01, 2026. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Snow and Solo. Monday, February 02, 2026. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Snow Mound#1. Tuesday, February 03, 2026. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Snow Mound #2. Wednesday, February 04, 2026. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
A late-night, early morning dusting #1. Thursday, February 05, 2026. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
A late-night, early morning dusting #2. Thursday, February 05, 2026. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
I have new co-workers #1. Thursday, February 05, 2026. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
I have new co-workers #2. Thursday, February 05, 2026. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
I have new co-workers #3. Thursday, February 05, 2026. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook

Gianna, the Winter Storm Who’s Leaving Her Mark

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“Oh Lord… Purify me.”

Gianna, Winter Storm #1.
Gianna, Winter Storm #2.
Gianna, Winter Storm #3.
Gianna, Winter Storm #4.
Gianna, Winter Storm #5.
Gianna, Winter Storm #6.
Gianna, Winter Storm #7.
Gianna, Winter Storm #8.
Gianna, Winter Storm #9.
Gianna, Winter Storm #10.

I hadn’t played in the snow in about four or maybe five years. When Jernee was alive, she loved the snow. She would stick her tongue out and call flakes to her mouth. It made her happy to be in it.

Yesterday, I mourned her some more, but it was the cleansing and renewal that I needed.

We ended up getting 11 inches of snow here in Winston-Salem, North Carolina with Gianna. Our last snowfall that accumulated over 10 inches was December 09, 2018, Diego. He dumped 14 inches of snow in my area alone.

*All photos were taken by Tremaine L. Loadholt, on Saturday, January 31, 2026.

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook

Mythomania & What Was I Thinking?

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Two poems shared via Substack notes

Mythomania

Back when I didn’t
overthink things, I
loved a woman who
lied so much,
mythomania could
have been her
middle name.

We were never going
to make it.
I made up stories
for entertainment;
she made up stories
to cover her ass.

Eventually, one of us
was going to break,
and one of us did.

Baby Tre in a fighter pose. I have no clue who took this photo, perhaps one of the hospital nurses or a family member? April 17, 1980.

What Was I Thinking?

I must’ve known the
world would be a
battlefield.

At a few hours old,
I’d already prepared
myself to fight;
hands squared into
position of
protection.

What was I thinking
as I dreamed
alongside a mother
who pushed me into
being?

Could I have been
dreaming of ways to
right wrongs without
a working definition
of them?

Did I know about all
of the nastiness
dripping from the
hearts of men, and
how that coldness
would shift God’s
creations—morph
them into living
devils?

Many ages passed
me by, and now, I
find myself standing
atiptoe, waiting for
change that doesn’t
look like it’s going
to come.

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook

Scattered Words Is Making Its Rounds

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A review by Candice Louisa Daquin of ThisKeptAche

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt

I am not one to push grief and loss onto anyone. Compiling poems for this book was cathartic for me. I needed to do this. It has been helpful for my grieving process and the appropriate mourning of a dog who meant the world to me. She was such a lifesaver for me; my calm, my peace. I am certain there will never be another like her.

To know that this work is not only helping me but also others in their grief is the icing on the cake of creativity. This work was not produced in vain. Candice Louisa Daquin, a long-time friend and fellow creator/writer, reviewed Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt, and what she said about it made me truly see that I have given the world some magic, even in my sadness.

A snippet of her review is below:

It says a lot about how much animals can impact lives, including the lives of those around us, who understand they are family and the loss is incalculable and akin to losing another human being. Jernee’s life will never be forgotten and this is where Scattered Words comes into its own. To say this is a eulogy isn’t sufficient. This is a testament to love. It is also filled with light and love, because Tremaine knows, Jernee is waiting for her and not far away.

From the first page where there is an image of Tremaine with Jernee, and it says, “hello rainbow bridge / treat my baby with kindness / she deserves it all” to the last image, which is more of a portrait of Jernee, there is grief and loss and love and hope all wound together in this brave and honest homage and reflection of a life well spent.

It isn’t fair that we only had 17 years with Jernee, but one thing I know is, every one of those years was filled with meaning and the bond between them, inseparable. I remember seeing the photos of Jernee after she died, and also leading up to it, and it opened wounds in me I had forgotten I had. This is not a bad thing, it is a necessary thing. We do feel. We have pain. To pretend otherwise is foolish. I like that about Tremaine, she is unflinching in her examination of what is real.

These poems were written after Jernee’s death and during her life. They are sometimes terribly sad, but for any pet-owner, animal-lover or really, person capable of understanding the bonds we forge, this is a book we wish we all had someone write about our life.

You can read the review in its entirety by visiting the original blog post for it.

As a writer who depends on emotions, it is encouraging to know I didn’t overshoot this one. I thank Candice for pointing that out, and for giving Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt such a remarkable review.

Scattered Words: Hardcover $26.00 USD|Scattered Words: eBook $11.00 USD