Tag: Breakups

what do broken hearts do?

trE
Pictured Poetry created by Tremaine L. Loadholt

This poem was inspired by a conversation one of my younger brothers and I had. He recently had his heart broken after not getting his act together to help propel his relationship forward.

This young lady meant so much to him; the first I’ve ever known to have him actually question his makeup/character, and try to figure out why he can’t seem to do this love thing the right way.

It’s only been about a full week, and he’s already found a therapist, is reflecting on what he could have changed & could have done right, and is looking deeper into himself and facing the nasty truth of it all.

And in all honesty, to me, this needed to happen, because as an older sibling, one gets tired of talking sense into their younger siblings until they’re blue in the face.

And I’m proud of him for taking all these steps toward betterment. Sometimes, we need to get that one heartbreak to set us on the straight and narrow for future relationships.

I’m prayerful this will be a journey he will not forget anytime soon.

bask

trE
Pictured Poetry created by Tremaine L. Loadholt

bask

I remember a time when
he thought I had
fire for a spirit
and an ocean for
eyes, and then one day
“out of the blue,”
I was fire crying an ocean
of tears, instead.

I think I changed.
I think he changed.

we could no longer bask
in the presence of who
we were.
all we wanted to do
was run away from
each other.

and that ain’t love.
that will never, ever
be love.

Gloomy

trE

Icy Tree|Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

An ice storm passed through here
last week and I thought about you.
About your voice and its eerie sensibility
of staying even when emotions were heightened.
Robotic, you seemed not quite human
in those moments.
Because how many of us can sound as
if we’re happy when our world is
crumbling right before our eyes?
How many of us will keep breathing
without flinching or changing octaves?

I often wondered if you were battery-operated.
If there were actual bells and whistles
probing you to act.
Nothing about our breakups was normal,
but then, no one would really categorize
“breaking up” as normal, especially if
they did not want to.
You were cool as one could ever be.
I never saw you cry.
Not when you failed your driving exam.
Not when you were cut from the
varsity basketball team.
Not when your parents divorced.
Not when your Grandfather died.

“What’s keeping him from falling apart?”
I used to ask myself that question for
a number of years and finally, I stopped.
“He just doesn’t get emotional.
He has one setting, neutral.”

An ice storm passed through here
last week and I thought about you.
I wanted to not feel anything too.

Nothing

trE

Nothing: Originally shared via Instagram.

If there’s an US, I should not have to keep showing you who I am. And you should not make me feel like who I am is problematic for US. If this happens, nothing is sure to be the result of who we are: the ending. 

Not For Old Time’s Sake

trE

he came over to chain my door,
to give an extra sense of security,
and I watched him choose
between two drills and hundreds of bits
as he examined the space.

metal.
thick, double-paned.
hollow.

he tapped the nails, then screwed
them, then drilled, then tapped again
and I remembered how eager he used
to be to make me happy
but I couldn’t muster up
any love for him no matter
how hard I tried.

today, he left me with extra bolts,
extra locks, and an extra dent
in my heart.
I should feel something for him,
I should, but I don’t.

and now his damn cologne
is all that I smell.
how will I get rid of that?