Category: Pain
anomaly
for Chrissy
proper deviant
unique in every way
a flock of fools
could be changed by you
history-in-the-making
indomitable
you had been before
your time–a gift to be
given back at just
the right moment
timely perfection
Who knows how long I will write these poems that come to me when my cousin’s voice enters my mind. I am compiling them and will have a chapbook of at least fifteen to gift to my family. We lost an angel but heaven has gained another.
A musical reflection of what I feel when I think of my beautiful cousin. She loved Nina Simone.
Homegoing
there was a light
within you–touched
others, breathed new life
into them. they felt it,
always.
people from miles upon
miles away, unlinked but
linked by you–by who
you were.
your gift had been in
every breath you took.
your sheer existence was life.
and when many gather to
compliment a soul, and everything
said is positive, this speaks
volumes.
it’s who you were.
it’s who I knew and love,
and so many others too.
so, you are going home now . . .
this is where I leave you–
it’s where I lay a final
kiss on your cheek, a
last tight hug, and words
left unspoken, shared.
until we meet again
in the beyond past the
beyond, I will greet you
with a smile on
my face, and love in my heart
because every bit of
you had been a present
to unwrap and give to
someone else.
I blow out a candle for
your physical body
will find its way beneath six
feet of dirt and clay,
but your spirit . . .
your spirit lives on.
Hello Again, Death–You’re Uninvited
A Lamentation
the last breath cuts
sharply — aims for
the heart
we all feel it
amazingly, suffering comes
in waves
no longer tortured by
the machines that
kept you breathing, you
can soar
how fragile the human
life — how glass-like;
the cracks and piercings
dangle as cautionary tales
to be told in the future
I said the only words
I could muster, “I love you —
I love you so much.”
and I did and I do and
I always will
this world was too blind
to see a gem shining
before it — God knew this,
didn’t he?
I give myself excuses
and blink on blips of
memories loading to keep
me above water
a foreign concept — picking up
my phone to never
hear your voice again;
no more conversations engrossed
in hilarity or tears or common
reflections of family ties
I ache all over
this is pain — the kind
that creeps in unexpectedly
with death at its heels — uninvited
I need the calmness of
your presence and I
will never have that again
there are some still
adamant about this
treacherous virus being
a hoax, but let me
testify
I’ve lost the sun
moon and stars and
nothing about it
is fake
yours was a love that
held me when I
needed to be held, that
comforted me in all
my weariness
who will love me
like that again?
there are no replacements;
I knew the greatest
familial love there is next
to a mother and child
and I am glad I did
maybe you’re my angel
and if it is true — spread
your wings around me,
ensure my actions won’t
be what they shouldn’t
I long for you near and
can’t have you — never,
ever, again
Then, There Are the Hopeful
A Six-word Story
Beneath that smile, I’m secretly yours.
Your Poem From Me Request #2
The Giving Cause: Still, I Grieve . . .
I try to give myself grace,
to lend myself peace, but
thoughts of you stir about
in my head during the witching
hours, and I cannot find comfort.
I don’t know it. It doesn’t come
to my aid.
What more could I have done?
What more could I have given?
I am bone-dry and my heart
breaks every time I think of you.
You . . . my father. my love. my light.
I am walking in darkness–the days
are longer–nights are colder.
Do I still have meaning?
Every day without you is
a stab to my heart–salt to
the wound, but I’m trying.
I’m trying.
I know if you were here, you’d
guide me in your own little way–
you’d create a path for
my weary feet to follow.
I have to look for peace
from the stars. I have to lure
it in from the moon. I have to
search for it around every corner,
and still, I grieve . . .
I grieve . . . and I wish I didn’t
have to.
Thank you to Kim Smyth for allowing me to gift a poem to you. It has helped me too.
To learn more about the Your Poem From Me: The Giving Cause, click here. Let me write a poem for you. I can give it life.
A Cornered Gurl 
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