Category: LGBTQ

Mythomania & What Was I Thinking?

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Two poems shared via Substack notes

Mythomania

Back when I didn’t
overthink things, I
loved a woman who
lied so much,
mythomania could
have been her
middle name.

We were never going
to make it.
I made up stories
for entertainment;
she made up stories
to cover her ass.

Eventually, one of us
was going to break,
and one of us did.

Baby Tre in a fighter pose. I have no clue who took this photo, perhaps one of the hospital nurses or a family member? April 17, 1980.

What Was I Thinking?

I must’ve known the
world would be a
battlefield.

At a few hours old,
I’d already prepared
myself to fight;
hands squared into
position of
protection.

What was I thinking
as I dreamed
alongside a mother
who pushed me into
being?

Could I have been
dreaming of ways to
right wrongs without
a working definition
of them?

Did I know about all
of the nastiness
dripping from the
hearts of men, and
how that coldness
would shift God’s
creations—morph
them into living
devils?

Many ages passed
me by, and now, I
find myself standing
atiptoe, waiting for
change that doesn’t
look like it’s going
to come.

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook

Caesuras and the blame game

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Two poems shared on Substack notes

AI-Generated image: A tangled web of two beautiful African American women; one with a pixie haircut, and the other has a curly afro. They are standing next to a handsome, African American & Native American man in the shadows. In the background, there are skyscrapers around them—the feel of any downtown area of a major city is what the image depicts.

Caesuras

it was in the
caesura, the pause
of his poem when I
knew his pain.

we carried the same
kind—blameless,
deep, unknown to
anyone else.

it felt balanced to
have a partner who
knew what I meant
when I said, “I can’t
talk about this, I
have to write it out,”
and not further
question the
conversation.

losing him, brought
me her a couple
years later, and she
knew what I thought
before I could
express it; a poet, a
performer. I think I
fell for her voice
before falling into
her heart.

but we shouldn’t
have been what we
were, and I never got
over being second
best.

every so often, I
think about him and
her, and the pauses I
have to take when I
see their faces in my
dreams. I am here
because they were
there.

the blame game

the day broke through my armor
and punched a hole in me…
I stumbled and wasted away down
to the ankles… it hurts to walk.
I’ve never suffered a blow this heavy
to the mind during the “BRR” months before.

the beginning of the year isn’t supposed
to feel this way.
tell that to the patients who only want to hear
what they want to hear—in the medical field,
when your insurance cost rises and your
deductible and out-of-pocket maximum do, too…

anyone around gets blamed for their pockets
being just as empty as yours.

Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book & Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing, as I discuss recent events related to my previous place of employment, including racism and discrimination, the growth I experienced after resigning from that company, and the foibles and overall experiences of life. I welcome your visit.

3 copies of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction for $7.25

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For the first 3 commenters to email me… I’ve got YOUR copy for YOU.

Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction for YOU for the upcoming holidays. Fictional work by Tremaine L. Loadholt Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

Séduire is a collection of serial fiction tales and flash fiction standalone stories written over a period of three years.

Dive into the world of a little girl whose family uproots and moves to “The Deep South” because of a new opportunity presented to her father. Transport yourself to the life of a little girl who becomes a mother and a sister to her child at the hands of her sadistic and evil father. Walk with a grieving sister and her mother as they remember a woman who was brutally murdered by her partner. Her young boys live out her legacy as they mourn her.

Experience parenthood as you enter the world of soon-to-be young parents and their ups and downs in life change them significantly while they journey along their new path. Make a brief cameo into the hearts of a dedicated aunt and a rebellious teenage niece whose father has lost his grip on his child.

There are so many more characters with which to connect. As you thumb through each page, the author wants you to feel something; with these stories, you will.

3 copies of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction for $7.25!

Get your copy of Séduire at this special offer of $7.25 now!

You heard that right, beautiful people! I have three copies, and the price is $7.25. For the first three commenters/responders to email me at acorneredgurl@gmail.com, I’ve got a copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction for you. Not only will you receive an autographed copy, but you will also receive a Thank You card, and the items will be wrapped and shipped directly to you. Currently, only United States residents will be considered.

After I have received an email from three people with the intent to purchase Séduire for this holiday-focused discounted price, the comments to this post will be closed.

Last-minute Christmas shoppers, this is your chance to scoop up a thoughtful gift for the avid reader in your family. I’m side-eyeing you right now and pressing my right hand against my heart. Have you been thinking about purchasing Séduire, and just couldn’t dish out the $15.75 USD paperback or the $9.00 e-book USD price? Now’s your time to jump on a good deal while it’s here.

Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction for YOU for the upcoming holidays. Fictional work by Tremaine L. Loadholt Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

4 Reviews of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction from verified purchasers:

Again, the first three responders to email me at acorneredgurl@gmail.com will receive a copy of Séduire for the holiday-focused discounted price of $7.25. I look forward to hearing from three of you soon.

Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction for YOU for the upcoming holidays. Fictional work by Tremaine L. Loadholt Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

Words cannot fully express my gratitude for every follower, reader, supporter, and writer in this community. All of you truly make WordPress what it is to me, and that’s home. Please know, making the above video for the express purpose of doing something different for Séduire was extremely nerve-racking for me. However, I am taking baby steps and coming out of my shell a little bit here and there. Thank you for being here for the unveiling.

If you happen to miss this post, and you still want to purchase a copy of Séduire, you can find the version that best suits you below…

Séduire: Paperback: LuLu|E-book: Lulu|Paperback only: Amazon

The Crush Ramble

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How “Insane discernment” Freed Me

This past Sunday, I was kinda feeling myself. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

The audio below is probably one of the most sincere and dearest things to me that I have ever shared here on WordPress or on any other writing platform, for that matter. Take heed–it is lengthy. I appreciate your patience. If you stick with it until the end, I applaud you. Thank you in advance for listening.

The Crush Ramble
Jill Scott: Free Interlude

Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book & Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.

away from you & death from cold

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Two poems shared on Substack notes

AI-generated image: Two Black women; one has an afro and is wearing black rimmed glasses, the other has locs and is donning massive gold hoop earrings. They both have pensive expressions on their faces as they hold on to each other in a sinkhole.

away from you

Con Funk Shun
plays, and I finally
hear what I need to
in Michael Cooper’s
sultry voice…
“That’s the way it
goes on Love’s
Train,” and you
begin to fade from
memory.

As soon as you float
into another part of
my mind, The Gap Band
plays, and then
I hear, “Keep running,”
and here I am… trying to talk
myself from chasing
after you.

I am slowing down,
finding my own beat,
and my own words
to get far away from
you.

death from cold

cold weather
moves in without an
invite–banging at
the doors of the sky,
willing to lap dance
the day away, as
long as it’s paid in
full before the next
business day.

its pimp hangs out
around the corner,
strangling the sun
and threatening to
take the heat from
it.

we all layer up for
safety. we don’t want
to catch our death
from cold.

Love’s Train by Con Funk Shun:

Yearning for Your Love by The Gap Band:

A Grave Mistake

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5 Words

quotesbychristie via Instagram by way of a Google search.

She thought
I’d
N e v e r
Change

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.