Single Black Female by Tracy Brown. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Last night, I finished reading the second of the three books by Tracy Brown, purchased for my birthday as gifts from my best friend, and I truly like this one so much more than Hold You Down.
Don’t get me wrong, both books are sensational and the author does a great job introducing developed and layered characters to us in each delivery. Still, something about Single Black Female will stick with me for many years to come.
Below is the Amazon review I submitted:
“I Got Emotional So Many Times
And I am not afraid to admit that. “Single Black Female” is the story so many Black women can relate to.
I love how the author, Tracy Brown, depicts each character. We get a full view of each of their personalities, and it’s a believable fictional tale. I found myself connecting with each of the four women: Ivy, Coco, Nikki, & Deja. I feel like there’s a sliver of each of them within me.
Their bond and closeness reminded me of true friendship and sisterhood. I got so emotional during several chapters and at the very end as well.
It is a breath of fresh air reading a happy and positive ending. One that showcases the women having a delightful conversation and enjoying themselves amongst the peace and somewhat quiet of Brooklyn for a “picnic.”
I teared up simply thinking about the women closest to me and about my brothers and my baby sister, and how hard I would war for all of them if I had to–be it against authoritative figures or their friends and loved ones.
The power and authenticity of love and its effectiveness of a genuine friendship know no bounds and can withstand any evil. And Tracy Brown does such an amazing job portraying that with this book.
I highly recommend it!”
If you’re looking to pick up a book that will stir something alive in you and make you remember just how grateful you are for friendship and love amid turmoil, this book will do exactly that.
Our first date was on a cold and blistery winter’s night.
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It was a cold, winter’s night in December of 2005. I had just moved to North Carolina in June. I settled into the new life surrounding me and laid my cares and burdens down to pick up another day.
I ran away from Georgia the first chance I got. I was always running away from something, someone, or somewhere back then. Ran from Georgia to the Bronx. From the Bronx to Long Island. From Long Island back to Georgia, and then . . . the final marathon saw me running from Georgia to North Carolina.
And this is where I have been since 2005. And although I’ve lived in two different cities, I haven’t found the gumption to speed away again. Not yet.
The first few months in my new home were magical. It seemed as though this life was designed for me. At that time, the woman in my body loved everything she had to offer and yearned for others to see it, too.
I met him online. Facebook, to be exact. It was wild how we connected, clicked, and cautiously approached each other for digital conversation and the goings-on of getting to know one another.
My best friend was my roommate at the time. She was great “company to keep”, but I wanted more. And he was the more I was seeking.
After a few weeks of shooting the shit, we decided to meet in person for our first date.
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Which brings me back to that cold, winter’s night. I do not remember the time we agreed on nor do I truly remember what we did. My bones tell me we planned to do movies and then dinner. So, let’s say we did exactly that.
When he arrived at my apartment building’s front entrance, I smiled at the sight of him. I walked outside to our stoop because he called to tell me he was turning the corner and would be at my place shortly.
He was a perfect gentleman. He ran up to me, scooped me up, and hugged me as tightly as he could. It was a full embrace –a Grandpa Hug. I melted in his arms.
To this day, whenever I see him, I say, “You give the best hugs.”
It was lip-biting cold and we were freezing our asses off, so we decided to get into the truck and escape the monotony of the night. He guided me to the passenger side, peeled back the door, and held it with one hand while he led me inside with the other. Once I was seated, he had to summon the strength of The Hulk to close the door with both hands.
This truck was old. Nah, it wasn’t just old . . . it was ancient. It made a loud, clanking sound while we rode up and down the hills of Winston-Salem. I panicked the entire ride. The heat worked. It sputtered and coughed and he had to tap the dashboard every few minutes to keep it from going cold.
I sat in my seat and prayed we would not get stranded anywhere in this still new-to-me city. He reassured me, “It gets me everywhere I need to go.” While I thought to myself, “Yeah, but how safe is this vehicle, really?!”
He was the best date I had since an old high school-to-college love of mine. He was respectful, a lover of music and writing, the eldest of four children, and was soaking in the newness of recently burying his father.
Something in me cried for him. We dated off and on for about nine years–breaking up and getting back together. Finally, I told him, “We are so good to each other but we are not good for each other.”
Because no matter what we did, our schedules failed us. His grief failed us. My intent on writing, connecting, and running to other people failed us.
He traded in that clunker of a truck for a Jeep Cherokee one year after it finally died on one of our major highways. He traded in the recklessness of who I was for a lovely sweetheart of a woman who knows how to stay put.
We had an amazing life together. We just weren’t amazing together. You sit with that for a while. It’ll come to you.
Every time I think about my first winter in North Carolina, I think about him and that old clunker of a truck, and the strength it took for him to close the door to his broken down and beat-up vehicle, and the heart it took for him to finally walk away from me.
And honestly, I smile. Because really, everything was perfect but the truck.
many of us perform on stages of our own making which later become our undoing,
yet we wonder why we falter.
my new neighbor has a funky attitude but she owns a dog, and I find that mysteriously intriguing. how can you be callous and care for something the complete opposite of that?
I speak when I see her, acknowledge her curt stares, and nod to display kindness, and that is the extent of our exchanges.
I miss my old neighbor.
she moved about two months ago to be on a stage that life planned for her; homeowner . . . she doesn’t like her new neighbors, either. says they let their Pit run amuck and loudly bark at the comings and goings of others.
she sends me text messages saying she may have made a mistake. and I don’t want to agree, but I don’t like this new neighbor, so in my heart of hearts, I secretly concur but instead say, “Give it a bit more time. It may end up surprising you. None of us really ever loves change.”
and on this stage I’ve built for myself, I’m patiently waiting for a future that could lend me more happiness. of late, I’ve been searching for it and it has been elusive.
Her days were never about her. She worked twelve-hour shifts for a measly $6.25 per hour plus tips.
In Pensacola, Florida, the stress from her job is as hot as the weather. She hated her boss. She hated where she lived. And her boyfriend, Rick, finally confessed to cheating on her.
To make matters worse, her baby brother, Jake, was diagnosed with multiple myeloma two weeks ago.
Killing herself seemed appropriate . . . it seemed right. She’ll die so others can live.
Séduire, Front Cover. Created with Canva by Tremaine L. Loadholt
Séduire, Back Cover. Created with Canva by Tremaine L. Loadholt
I have been hard at work on something for the last two years, and . . . the above front and back covers are the faces of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction. Séduire (French), meaning to seduce or charm, encapsulates everything I wanted to do with the words I turned into characters that turned into stories for this book.
It is comprised of fourteen fiction tales, housed in 87 pages from my restless and imaginative mind. It is my first book comprised completely of fiction. It was hard to select which stories I wanted to share, but I believe I made the best decision in selecting the stories published in this book.
Its publishing date will be October 30, 2024. Why this date? It’s close enough to Thanksgiving and Christmas, yet not so close to hinder holiday expenses. I believe it will make the perfect gift for family, friends, and acquaintances. Over the next few months, I will post an announcement about the book along with blurbs from its beta readers.
The first two are below:
Tremaine isn’t just a writer; she is a sage who applies the practices and alchemy of empathy. She doesn’t just create compelling characters; she inhabits them and allows them to speak their truth through her grounded prose, regardless of how vulnerable, how conflicted, how beautiful, or how harrowing. -Barry Dawson, Jr. IV
In Séduire, Tre Loadholt gives us the full range of her storytelling magic. Beyond the humorous dialogue, the raw earthiness of relationships, and the intense despair of grief and loss … eternal hope is the emotion that always shines through her stories.This iconic collection of short fiction belongs on your must-read list.-Kay Bolden
For those of you who have always supported me, thank you. I hope you will do so this time around as well when Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction is published.
Are you interested in reading my previously published books? You can do sohere.
This morning, I did the second part of what I have been dreading for nearly two months: I applied to two psychological/therapeutic organizations as recommended by my former therapist. To say that I am nervous is an understatement. But I knew this had to be done, and I am proud of myself for taking the second step in continuing my mental healthcare and surveillance from a professional.
I started by researching the second center my former therapist and I discussed as the name struck me as inviting and serene:Banyan Tree Counseling & Wellness. I read through the organization’s mission and vision statement and familiarized myself with about four of the profiles for their providers. I landed on Arionna Wilkerson within the first three minutes, marked her mentally, and said, “Let’s come back to her.” I read through three more profiles and circled back to Arionna Wilkerson. I completed the new applicant form and will await the recommended 24-48 hours turnaround time before reaching out to the organization if I have not heard from a representative before their requested turnaround time.
The downside to this organization is my insurance is not an accepted carrier. Thus, if I choose to make them my new mental healthcare provider, I will have to pay a significant amount out of pocket each month. In all honesty, I am trying to avoid this. However, I did apply because Arionna’s profile seems to be exactly the type of service I need and would like to continue to get. I also selected the option to continueAutism Spectrum Disordertesting. I had the initial assessment for autism about 2 years ago, and I have been learning more about myself and coming to terms with WHY I am the way I am and how much of me centers around neurodivergence.
The mission statement for Banyan Tree Counseling & Wellness is:
At Banyan Tree Counseling & Wellness, our mission is to nurture the roots of well-being. We are committed to delivering compassionate, holistic, and evidence-based care that empowers individuals, families, and communities to thrive. Our dedication to creating an inclusive environment fosters growth, healing, and fulfillment for our clients. With an unwavering commitment to professional excellence and continuous improvement, our aim is to positively impact the mental and overall well-being of our community.
The above is what led me to apply to this organization. I also watched a short YouTube clip from the Founder/Executive Director, Chantal Hayes, and was slightly moved to learn more about the people Banyan Tree employs. The location is not far from me and I can choose in-person or virtual/telehealth care.
The other organization I researched and applied to is Camel City Counseling. My former therapist and I discussed them as well. On a list of four recommendations, these two spoke to me the most. I read through their mission statement and was immediately lured in. Here is a snippet of what Camel City Counseling offers:
We specialize in working with motivated clients, the perfectionist, the family struggle, the couple rekindling their desire, the trauma survivor, the hurting, the anxious, the body loather, the overachiever, the overcomer, the attention deficit, the highly sensitive. We believe that mental health is physical health, and vice versa. We see you and we care.
When you work with us, you will experience authenticity and integrity. Our passionate focus is meeting people where they are and walking with them toward their goals in a warm, relational manner. We will sit “side by side” with you on your journey of change. We will never give up on your success and wellbeing.
After reading three profiles on their website for three VERY different providers, I selected Zanita Harrisonfor whom I’d like to be my next provider. Her background and current specialization is what would be helpful to me. Her personal statement helped seal the deal as the person of interest for me, too: “WANTS CLIENTS TO DEVELOP PERSONAL STRENGTH, DEEP UNDERSTANDING IN RELATIONSHIPS, AND FEEL MORE CONFIDENT IN THEIR COMMUNICATION OR SELF ADVOCACY.”
This organization also specializes in additional assessments for Autism Spectrum Disorder. They also . . . wait for it . . . ACCEPT MY INSURANCE! The last part is a plus as I do not want to pay out of pocket for services that should undoubtedly be offered to human beings for free. I also have the option for in-person care or virtual/telehealth. I will await a response from them by allowing 24-72 hours.
My former therapist is a Caucasian woman in her late 60s. She provided me with several tools to use as I grow older and move through the challenges of life. I will never forget what we shared, how we grew together, and her incredible attention to detail and assistance in me learning who I am and why outside of racial demographics and gender/sex orientation. I am moving forward now after so many long and tired exhalations.
The hard part to all of this is over and now . . . I wait.
A Cornered Gurl 
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