a stranger cupped my hand in hers at the curb of the crosswalk, and looked at me pleadingly.
I am funny about touch if I don’t know you, and sometimes even when I do, but I knew something was wrong when I saw her eyes dancing like they were running away from terror.
I tilted my head and leaned into her personal space and smelled fear. caution warned me not to turn around, so I didn’t, but I could hear him breathing.
a cop–woman, stood by her cruiser a block away, and sitting shotgun was her partner. I looked at her, raising my tethered hand, and then looked at the silent woman, and the cop knew.
the man started running as soon as their eyes locked. the silent woman sat in the backseat, and closed the cruiser’s door.
I walked two blocks home, dangling my hand at my side, twiddling my fingers, feeling the lonesome lack of the woman’s grip.
I prayed for her safety as my pulse quickened.
This was my dream from last night. I hope it isn’t a premonition or a vision into what will happen.
Jernee Timid: Fading away from all that she knows.
August 23, 2025, before a short afternoon walk, I came into the living room from our bedroom and found Jernee like this.
If you have followed Jernee & I for a number of years, you know I document it all. From Jernee’s highlights to the downsides of being a pet mom.
She used to have a blog completely dedicated to her and our adventures. I think that is how I met many of you. Funny how I have forgotten what the name of that blog was. If any of you remember, please share it in the comments.
The last few years have been rough. Overall, this Little Monster has been the most magnificent companion. I could not have asked for a better dog.
She has been my peace. She has been my joy. She has been every ounce of love that I’ve needed in the witching hour.
Since my late cousin Chrissy’s death in February of 2022, I have learned a new way to approach death & dying. I face it head on; feel all the emotions that I need to–lose myself in it, and grieve… grieve… grieve.
The morning comes when the mourning is done.
Jernee Timid has been a firecracker since her very first day with me, which was May 28, 2008. She was six weeks old. She cried on the way home to Greensboro, North Carolina (at that time) from Wilmington, North Carolina, which is where she is from.
A reputable breeder sold her to me, and I whisked her away from her remaining brother and sister (Bella & Butler) of their litter. She wailed & wailed, and I thought, “I haven’t heard a dog cry like this since we picked up Nala (Mook’s first baby girl puppy) from her breeder.”
Jernee made such a ruckus, I had to pull over at a gas station about ten miles away, shift her from her doggy bed, and set her up comfortably in my lap for the remainder of the drive to her new home.
From that day, I knew she was going to get any and everything out of me that she wanted. She was spoiled from Day One.
She settled into our family like she belonged here–like she had previously claimed us, and she was just waiting for us to come and bring her home.
I have to remind myself that everyone cannot handle this level of decline in Jernee. Not many can endure the videos I will share. My kid brother, for example, lived with us for three years, and Jernee is his baby.
I’ve seen that kid go to war verbally about her, and I know for a fact he will beat a person down bare-handed if ever they wronged Jernee. He calls her Princess Jay or Jay Nasty (please don’t ask me why, the kid isn’t right! 😆🤣😂).
I’ve been sharing the videos with him, and he told me this evening, “Man, no matter how much we say we are good, we can never prepare for these things. Man, I keep watching this video, I started crying. It’s hard to see Jernee like this, fr, so I know you are exhausted. I’m praying for you, sis. I love you.”
He is the baby boy. I am ten years older than him. He has always had a special place in my heart, but he is the only one who can make me go from Zero to One Hundred in five seconds flat, too.
He cannot deal with the reality of this. He keeps telling me I’m strong and asking how can I record Jernee when she’s fading. My response to him, “How can I not? I love Jernee in life. I’m going to love Jernee in death. This is our reality now, until it’s not. I have recorded many happy times. I find it essential to record the sad times, too.”
So, I will. And if this is not going to be your thing, I get it. I understand it. It’s not easy to digest. But it is my baby girl’s life, and I will immerse myself in it until I have nothing left of her.
Jernee Timid: This was taken on a “good” day, August 15, 2025. Her right eye is in and out of healing. Something’s causing it to fill with blood, and then it’ll dissolve and won’t appear again for days. $920.72 spent on August 03, 2025, has NOT resolved the issue.
Jernee’s living her best life during her last days–Princess Puppy striking a pose–braving a lucid moment… she’s my heart’s beats outside of me.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
Operator, get my baby on the line/ ‘Cause just the other night we had a horrible fight/ I admit that I, I was out of control/ But I still love my man with my body and soul/
“I Apologize” entered Billboard‘s Hot R&B Airplay chart on November 5, 1994, and rose up to number 5 at the end of February 1995. The song hit number 1 on Billboard‘s Adult R&B Airplay chart on February 4, 1995, spending 38 weeks on the chart. At the same time, the song peaked at number 8 on the R&B chart.[1] In the UK, “I Apologize” broke into the pop singles chart at number 80 on July 2, 1995, and dropped out the next week.[2]
British magazine Music Week gave the song three out of five, writing, “Baker goes jungle? But her strong vocals retain the original feel of these tracks, creating a soulful jungle splice-up.”[3] Chuck Campbell from Knoxville News Sentinel felt that here, the singer “glides into the subtlety of a more refined arrangement”.[4] Jonathan Bernstein from Spin declared it as “a request-line perennial-in-the-making”.[5]—Wikipedia
If you’ve watched the video, I should not have to say much about this song. It’s soft. It’s mellow. It’s beautifully arranged. And Anita’s voice is the Chef’s kiss. Everything it needs to be, it is, and I appreciate its classic and timeless existence. I always will.
Thank you for joining me on this musical journey. It has been fun sharing some of my favorite songs and their captivating opening lyrics.
The Setup for reading and relaxing. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
I have been reading books for an extremely long time; I started when I was at least three or four years old. Dr. Seuss’ books lined my childhood bookshelf.
But I have only been reviewing books that I have read for maybe twenty years?
I have learned that constructive criticism and your honest opinion aren’t always welcome by certain writers/creatives. With a few that I have encountered, ego gets in the way, and they feel as though everything they put into the ether will shit gold and piss silver.
But it will not. If an unedited book has a great core, a grounded foundation, a plot that readers can follow, and versatility, that book can be salvaged, edited, and reintroduced to the world to get the flowers it deserves.
I appreciated the fact that the author is versatile. In this book, you will find a play, fiction, spoken word/poetry, and simple dialogue between a mother and daughter.
The development of each piece is sound and vividly expressed with poignant details, however, grammar, syntax, punctuation, etc., takes away from the full enjoyment of the book.
The author’s voice cannot be denied or buried. It comes out swinging and demands a listening ear and attentive eyes. I thoroughly enjoyed the first half of the book and sunk deeply into the plots and storylines.
With an overhaul and some solid editing, this could be a remarkable project. The strength is there, and one does benefit from reading it in its form, but I believe this is a rough draft that could shine with two or more digs into its bones.
The core is alive–bringing it to the surface in a more pristine form can happen, and I hope it does. The talent is unshackled, it simply needs to be formed, ironed out, and polished.
I hope to see a revised, edited version. I would purchase it as well.”
I reached out to J. R. to share the review with her first, and to let her know that I will be ready for the book’s golden return to the reading world.
She was receptive to the review and admitted she appreciated my honesty and that she knows the potential this book manifested in her head and heart, but it does need more care and attention.
I asked her if I could share it here just as I do with my other reviews, and she said that I could. Trust me, if I were not granted permission, you would not be reading this. This is a community of writers and readers. We deserve to grow amongst one another.
As a writer, I want openness and honesty about my work. As an author, I want reviews that are going to help me grow and keep me aware of my potential to get better, not just “Yes People” gassing my head up for the sake of ratings and approvals.
I am hopeful TheConversation returns when it is time, wearing a new dress, sassy heels, and a mink coat that would make its counterparts jealous.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-BookandPaperback) yet?
I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutthe most recent events with my place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.
I will miss this sweet face. She means the entire world to me.
Jernee has a vet visit for Friday, September 12, 2025, at 0900. The first thing we will discuss is end-of-life options, and I’m preparing myself for that date to be her last with me.
Letting go should be easy, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that it is not. However, I won’t prolong the inevitable.
These next few weeks are going to try my patience due to Jernee’s decline, but I am going to do everything in my power to make sure she has the best last days on God’s green earth.
I may not have the mental wherewithal to respond to comments, but I will leave them on, and I thank you for any warm wishes, peaceful thoughts, and words of wisdom in advance.
A Cornered Gurl 
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