Caesuras and the blame game

Two poems shared on Substack notes

AI-Generated image: A tangled web of two beautiful African American women; one with a pixie haircut, and the other has a curly afro. They are standing next to a handsome, African American & Native American man in the shadows. In the background, there are skyscrapers around them—the feel of any downtown area of a major city is what the image depicts.

Caesuras

it was in the
caesura, the pause
of his poem when I
knew his pain.

we carried the same
kind—blameless,
deep, unknown to
anyone else.

it felt balanced to
have a partner who
knew what I meant
when I said, “I can’t
talk about this, I
have to write it out,”
and not further
question the
conversation.

losing him, brought
me her a couple
years later, and she
knew what I thought
before I could
express it; a poet, a
performer. I think I
fell for her voice
before falling into
her heart.

but we shouldn’t
have been what we
were, and I never got
over being second
best.

every so often, I
think about him and
her, and the pauses I
have to take when I
see their faces in my
dreams. I am here
because they were
there.


the blame game

the day broke through my armor
and punched a hole in me…
I stumbled and wasted away down
to the ankles… it hurts to walk.
I’ve never suffered a blow this heavy
to the mind during the “BRR” months before.

the beginning of the year isn’t supposed
to feel this way.
tell that to the patients who only want to hear
what they want to hear—in the medical field,
when your insurance cost rises and your
deductible and out-of-pocket maximum do, too…

anyone around gets blamed for their pockets
being just as empty as yours.


Have you gotten your copy of SéduireSerial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing, as I discuss recent events related to my previous place of employment, including racism and discrimination, the growth I experienced after resigning from that company, and the foibles and overall experiences of life. I welcome your visit.

Feels Like the Right Time: An Interview With Tremaine L. Loadholt

Courtesy of Melissa Lemay

AI-Generated Image: A Black woman with locs, wearing glasses and an interested look on her face, is speaking to a White woman with dimples and a lovely smile, who is holding a pen and pad and asking her questions. Both are sitting on a comfy couch, in a well-lit room with two mugs of tea on a coffee table in front of them.

The lovely Melissa Lemay at Mom with a Blog and editor of Collaborature, invited me for an interview, to which I happily obliged. I appreciate her presence here on WordPress, her strength as a writer, and the outpouring of support she lends other creatives throughout the WordPress community, too. Below is a snippet of the interview:

Melissa Lemay: Hello, Tremaine! Thank you for joining us here at Collaborature today!

Tremaine L. Loadholt: Hey! Hey! Hey! You can just call me “Tre.” Tremaine is WAY too formal. LOL!

ML: Understood. It’s a bad habit.🙃 Will you tell us a little about when your writing journey began?

TL: Ah, okay. I began writing when I was nine years old. My mother’s oldest sister died from a crack cocaine overdose in an alley behind another user’s home in my hometown. I was particularly close to this aunt, and so was my mom. When she died, it’s like my mom lost a piece of her; therefore, I lost a piece of me. I wrote a poem to memorialize her death and celebrate her life, and that’s where it started.

ML: That is an incredible place to start. What are some things you enjoy writing about?

TL: Life, love, relationships (all forms), LGBTQ rights and appreciation, socioeconomic trials, systemic racism, hope, and peace.

ML: I know you have published at least one book. How many have you published? Will you tell us about them and what inspired you to write each?

TL: Okay, this is a meaty question, and I fear I will become verbose in answering it. I will do you one better. Here is the link to the books I have written and published (a total of five) via my website… Published Books. I am also sharing my Author Pages via Amazon and Goodreads. What inspired me to write each? Anytime I compile a body of work, I am moved to do so—compelled, really. I cannot describe what comes over me, but it always feels like the right time. I hope this makes sense.

ML: It makes perfect sense. Do you think it is imperative that we pass on writing and the arts to generations that come after us?

TL: I do. I spent about eight years mentoring young writers, helping them harness their craft, and showing them different forms/genres/methods for expressive writing. I also hosted writing prompts and placed a spotlight on them when featuring their work. This was a part of my “Young Minds of Medium” venture. To this day, I maintain a relationship with several of them, and I am overjoyed by how they have excelled.

ML: That is meaningful. Thank you for participating in that. What is something important that you have gained or learned as a result of writing?

TL: Patience. I have always been a patient person, but writing, especially editing and publishing, has given me a newfound understanding and appreciation for what it means to be patient. It does not matter how fast you want to get somewhere or do something, or accomplish your goals. If patience is not factored into your method of living, you very well may not succeed.

ML: Preach! Which do you enjoy more: poetry or flash fiction?

TL: Now, why’d you have to go and ask me this?! LOL! Poetry is my first love. If I want to find, become one with, learn more about, and understand… truly understand myself and everything around me, poetry is what I turn to. Fiction (be it flash, micro, short stories, etc.) is how I commune with my characters—how I become one with them. If I need to get their stories out, and I know poetry will not be sufficient, fiction is what I turn to. I love writing both forms of genres equally.

ML: If you could go anywhere in the world to write, where would you go and why?

TL: Anywhere in the world? Hmm. I’d have to say Tonga. I would love to immerse myself in the culture, learn the beauty of their connection to one another, experience Vitamin D the way it’s supposed to be experienced, and produce poetry and fiction for at least two more books. I would like to explore at least twenty of its 170 islands.

ML: Why stop at 20?! Who are some people who’ve inspired you on your writing journey? These can be fellow writers, people in your life who have inspired your writing, etc.

TL: My late cousin, Chrissy. I have written about her life and death so much that it is a part of my modus operandi. My now deceased dog, Jernee Timid. I cannot tell you how many poems or longform pieces I have written about her life as well as her death. She was a source of motivation for me. Renown writers: Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, Octavia Butler, June Jordan, James Baldwin, Langston Hughes, Mitch Albom, and Elizabeth Gilbert.

If you’re interested in reading the rest of the interview, you can do so by visiting Collaborature, and also (if you have time) read a few of the works shared by other talented writers, artists, and creatives throughout our blogosphere.


Have you gotten your copy of SéduireSerial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing, as I discuss recent events related to my previous place of employment, including racism and discrimination, the growth I experienced after resigning from that company, and the foibles and overall experiences of life. I welcome your visit.

“Lord I Need You”, Because I Truly Do

Lady Harmony: Too Street for the Church, Too Church for the Street

Lady Harmony: Lord, I Need You

Every morning/before my feet touch the ground/
In the afternoon/when I’m up moving around/
In the evening/when I lay my head down
When I can’t see for myself/

I need you to have my back, Lord…


Have you gotten your copy of SéduireSerial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing, as I discuss recent events related to my previous place of employment, including racism and discrimination, the growth I experienced after resigning from that company, and the foibles and overall experiences of life. I welcome your visit.

a means to an end & a body for sale (on clearance)

Two poems shared on Substack notes

Fictional character Dr. Temperance “Bones” Brennan as a cartoon. Created with Google Gemini

a means to an end

Bones… a show I
can watch over and
over again–the
reruns are salve;
balm for my
crowded mind–a
distraction.

sometimes, on
heavy days, a
distraction is what
I need.

to witness complex
cases, albeit fatal
fiction, I disappear
in their plot twists
and fall victim to
their endings.

funny how the things
that gross me out
in my dreams
invigorate me while
I’m awake.

who’s murdering
who is more than
a pertinent question,
it’s a means to
an end.


AI-Generated Image: A Black woman with locs, wearing glasses, semi-doubled over in pain.

a body for sale (on clearance)

I’m at an age now
when a hard and
awkward sleep can
throw my back out
or a sneeze from the
depths of my soul
can summon
tinnitus.

the body is a weird
thing to observe.
how fragile we can
become when we
think we’re at our
strongest.

we can be swiftly
reminded of just how
easy it is to injure
oneself without
force or torture.
depreciating value…

like a brand new
vehicle the moment
you drive it off the
lot.

clearanced and
marked down,
wanted only
because we’re now
cost-effective and a
hot commodity.

everyone wants the
cheapest version of
you.


Have you gotten your copy of SéduireSerial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing, as I discuss recent events related to my previous place of employment, including racism and discrimination, the growth I experienced after resigning from that company, and the foibles and overall experiences of life. I welcome your visit.

“Cuz My Heart Can’t Hurt Nobody”

Good Intentions by Lady Harmony

Good Intentions by Lady Harmony via YouTube

“And if I ever hurt you, I’m asking you
To charge it to my head and not my heart.”


Have you gotten your copy of SéduireSerial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.

away from you & death from cold

Two poems shared on Substack notes

AI-generated image: Two Black women; one has an afro and is wearing black rimmed glasses, the other has locs and is donning massive gold hoop earrings. They both have pensive expressions on their faces as they hold on to each other in a sinkhole.

away from you

Con Funk Shun
plays, and I finally
hear what I need to
in Michael Cooper’s
sultry voice…
“That’s the way it
goes on Love’s
Train,” and you
begin to fade from
memory.

As soon as you float
into another part of
my mind, The Gap Band
plays, and then
I hear, “Keep running,”
and here I am… trying to talk
myself from chasing
after you.

I am slowing down,
finding my own beat,
and my own words
to get far away from
you.


death from cold

cold weather
moves in without an
invite–banging at
the doors of the sky,
willing to lap dance
the day away, as
long as it’s paid in
full before the next
business day.

its pimp hangs out
around the corner,
strangling the sun
and threatening to
take the heat from
it.

we all layer up for
safety. we don’t want
to catch our death
from cold.


Love’s Train by Con Funk Shun:

Yearning for Your Love by The Gap Band: