Daily photographic musings
Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook
Life in Photos #9
Tag: Art
Life in Photos #8
Daily photographic musings
The camera is an instrument that teaches people
how to see without a camera. —Dorothea Lange
Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook
This Video Still Gives Me So Much Joy
Dance the pain away
Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free. – Rumi
Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book & Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?
I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing, as I discuss recent events related to my previous place of employment, including racism and discrimination, the growth I experienced after resigning from that company, and the foibles and overall experiences of life. I welcome your visit.
Life in Photos #3
Daily photographic musings
Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book & Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?
I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
At the Mention of Your Name
An audio lamentation for Jernee Timid
Just after work yesterday, I took
the body to a place we enjoyed
for months—our sister imaging center,
to visit with previous co-workers and
staff there.
My friend’s mother—eager to see my
smiling face, and offer a hug that
said to me, “You may not be mine,
but you are mine,” awakened my
heart’s pain.
The elders, as they often do, check
on us when we need it most.
The way she tilted her head and
asked, “How are you doing?” could
not have prepared me for what
would take place next.
I knew what she meant.
I knew how she meant it.
And when your name fell from her lips,
the tears fell from my eyes.
I apologized as I am wont to do when
my emotions take over, and she held
up her hand to me and shook her head No…
”I asked you. I want to know. Don’t you
dare apologize for feeling, Tre.”
And I heard the bass in her voice, attempted
to tighten up, but also loosen up, too.
It’s still unreal talking about you and
not coming home to you.
There are far too many reminders, and
so many people who knew you.
Everywhere I turn, sadness is waiting
to string me along.
I hate that this is now what clutters
my heart—that I have made space
for pain of this magnitude, and it shifts
only when it is good and ready.
At the mention of your name, I become
puddles that plough through the depths
of powerful grief—I wade accordingly, searching
for a shore that will envelop me
and keep me safe.
I can no longer run to you for a sense
of security.
You don’t crawl into my lap for warmth
or stand at the entrance of our bedroom,
waiting for me to exit.
You’re in so many places that make
up who I am, and erasing you was
never a plan—but keeping you in all
those spaces is running over me.
And if I can be completely honest
with you, I did not prepare for you
to live and die, and live again.
And for me to live and die, and
try to live again.
Musical Selection: Elton John—Your Song
Originally published in Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun on Substack.
19th WordPress Anniversary & the mirror doesn’t lie
When I first started blogging on WordPress, I moved away from Blogger and created my first blog here EONS ago. I cannot remember the name of it, nor do I recall the domain, either. About three years later, I hosted two more blogs: one for my personal writing and another for writing directly related to Jernee Timid. Again, I do not recall the names of those blogs or their domain names. What I do know is this… I have not had any major issues with WordPress. It has always felt like a family affair, and I can pretty much keep the trolls and nonsense at bay on this platform, and for that, I will forever be grateful.
We have our own little private/public spaces on the internet, and the community never ceases to amaze me. I’m pretty sure I’ll be on WordPress until the rickety wheels of this platform fall off. Nineteen years is a long time to express oneself on the same platform, and I intend to do it for many more years to come.
Thank you to all of you who have connected with me, read my work regularly, and appreciate what I bring to this community. I am so enamored by all of you and your patience, time, and dedication to art in literary or visual form. We make this community what it is.
the mirror doesn’t lie
the mirror shows it
all; you cannot hide
from yourself, even if
you want to.
I joke with myself
occasionally,
“wherever you go,
there you are,” so
I’m stuck with me,
and the older I get,
I want to be with ME
more.
my heart needs the
love I’m giving it.
my mind deserves
the peace I’m giving
it.
it is joy to surround
oneself with
beautiful gifts that
enhance our every
waking moment.
I’m walking
alongside a
human being who
hid behind shadows
and the covers of
hoodies for decades,
and I finally
realize…
she is undeniably
unique and
incomparable, and I
adore her.
I want more of her.
Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book & Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?
I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
A Cornered Gurl 
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