Tag: Animals

In Life and In Dying

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Part IV: Jernee’s final bow; a sweet girl until the end.

The burial site, getting my girl all ready for an eternal dirt rest. Video captured by Tremaine L. Loadholt
Jernee and I, during the twilight phase of her rest before the final two doses to end her life. Photo Credit: Karen E. Mitchell
A kiss and some loving while Jernee was in a peaceful sleep. Photo Credit: Karen E. Mitchell
One final kiss to send my baby off. Photo Credit: Karen E. Mitchell
Jernee Timid right before the Vet and staff proceeded with her end-of-life process. Photo Credit: Karen E. Mitchell
Jernee has not had a full night’s rest in about a month. She snored so loudly during her twilight phase of this process. I could tell it was the best sleep ever. Photo Credit: Karen E. Mitchell
While we spent our final moments with Jernee, our vet’s office staff turned the light on to this box so the other patrons/pet owners could be aware and act accordingly. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
My Center Manager’s father-in-law made this grave marker for Jernee Timid. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Jernee’s final resting place… On my Center Manager’s land, under a huge tree that gets a lot of shade. I think she will be VERY happy here. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Karen and I. She flew up for this day. She wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Our eyes are puffy because we had been crying. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
The box we buried her in. Simple. Sleek. Just the right size. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

Tomorrow, I will spend some much-needed time with my mom in Greensboro, NC. It is her birthday weekend. She has mentioned I should not be worried about her, but birthdays are special to me, and I need to get out. The silence in my home is deafening, and I will have to get used to it, but… I want to live a little bit before sitting in the reality of what is now my life–one without Jernee Timid Loadholt.

For those of you who have been on this journey with my baby girl and I for seventeen years (or at least 5 to 10 of them), thank you. I hope you have come to know my sweet girl through me, and that she has touched you, too.

There will never be another dog like her, and I am in no hurry to get another one. I want to sit with the feel and quiet of the lack of Jernee around for quite some time. I donated so many of her belongings today: bowls, toys, collars & leashes, beds, clothing, and her crate. So many other pets will benefit from what we had to offer.

I will leave you with an excerpt from the most recent article I’ve shared about Jernee on Substack:

Overall, this day has been a journey of a lifetime. Now that I am without Jernee, what will I do? Who will I be? Where will my heart lead me next? I don’t know about all of you, but I am in no hurry to find out.

Laying Jernee to rest after a month of decline, illness, and constant changes to her mental state, I can finally breathe. Will I sleep soundly tonight? I do not know, but I welcome it if it is on the way.

I just lost the love of my life. I will never be the same. But isn’t that the purpose of something that changes you for the better—for you not to be the same once they have passed on… I think so.

I am who Jernee needed me to be, and with her death, I will have to be who I need me to be.

The circle of life bows with or without an encore.

Part I, Part II, and Part III

In Life and In Dying

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Part II: I have two jobs now; I didn’t know caretaking for a senior dog would be this hard.

August 22, 2025. Part I of a two-part video of a regular morning with Jernee, now as she continues to decline.

This is the first part of how our mornings go now that Jernee is no longer fully independent. She cannot hear. She cannot see. She is losing her faculties and is not truly aware of where she is and what to do.

Being a watchdog for your dog is crazy work, but I eagle-eye her like a hawk, trying my best to keep her safe and to comfort her. The facial expressions she wears now are a combination of confused, lost, sad, and frustrated. My baby girl rarely looks excited, happy, and free these days.

This is the video I cannot watch without breaking down; without losing my cool and feeling like a partial failure because of what’s happening to her. Logically, I know I am not at fault. I know this is God’s plan. We all have to make our grand exit off of this plane and onto the next, but tell that to my heart.

I don’t get much sleep. She wakes up at random hours during the night in a mild state of confusion, or she wants to go outside to potty, or it’s a combination of both.

When she’s whining, I know she’s confused, and she simply needs to be calmed down, so I soothe her and put her in the bed with me. Those moments are the hardest.

I have had to find new ways to keep her safe while I’m at home because if she cannot sense my presence, she will run around our apartment frantically until she can. If she knows I’m at home, she wants me near her, no questions about it.

Taking this into consideration and knowing I do not want her to injure herself, I place her bed we use for sitting outside on our balcony, in the kitchen and bathrooms so she can be around me. Wild, right?!

Yes, you may be saying to yourself, “Why are you doing this?!” But if you witness how terrified Jernee is when she knows I am home and she doesn’t sense me, you would understand.

Jernee Timid: sitting at our kitchen’s entrance in her bed while I prepare her and Zumi’s food, and clean up afterward. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

When I do this, there is peace in our home. She isn’t whining. She isn’t terrified and panting from searching throughout our apartment for me. She isn’t alone. She knows Mommy isn’t too far away, and that comforts her.

And as long as she is comfortable and in a peaceful state, then I can be “right as rain.”

Please do not let anyone tell you that caring for a senior dog who is declining is easy. I am bearing witness and living through it, and can testify that it is not. It is a labor of love, and a multitude of patience should be in tow.

If you cannot love and you are not patient, do not become a dog owner. Eventually, you will have to endure the inevitable, and they deserve people who will walk calmly and lovingly alongside them toward the end.

Part I

Photos From This Past Weekend

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Friday night dinner from my favorite Japanese Sushi & Steakhouse restaurant. Shrimp tempura roll and Eel avocado roll. Friday, March 14, 2025.
I was craving my favorite chips on the planet, so I copped one bag and was satisfied. Friday, March 14, 2025.
Jernee Timid was in such a good place this past weekend. She made me so happy to be her mommy. Saturday, March 15, 2025.
Zumi Tye is up to no good per usual. LOL. Zuse had just finished eating a bit of breakfast: mustard greens & blackberries. Saturday, March 15, 2025.
I had to finally sit down and watch Moana 2 on Disney+. I am so glad I took the opportunity to do so. I laughed, I teared up, and I bopped my body to most of the songs. It’s such a great movie! Saturday, March 15, 2025.
A postcard arrived in the mail from one of my dearest friends and I just love this image. Don’t you? Saturday, March 15, 2025.
Elder had given us such a great breakdown of the scripture we were closing out for this past week. Matthew 22 (The Parable of the Wedding Feast). It was a great sermon and praise & worship was on point as well. Sunday, March 16, 2025.
Sunday morning workout. I needed this because I’d skipped Friday & Saturday. It was so rainy and gloomy and I guess I was just lazy those two days. I PUT IT IN on Sunday. Although I was tired afterward, it was truly worth it! Sunday, March 16, 2025.
Sunday night dinner: BBQ chicken wings (I made the sauce), baked seasoned red potatoes, and seasoned baked cabbage. Everything on the plate was made in the oven – baked and cooked to perfection. Sunday, March 16, 2025.

Overall, it was a great weekend, and I was sad to see it go. *Sighs* Weekends never last long. They come and go so quickly before you can bat an eye. I am already looking forward to this weekend. LOL! I hope you all will have a great week ahead. Take care and be kind to yourself and others.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

Gossip Channels at the Sahara Desert

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Flash Fiction

The image is from Getty Images on Unsplash.

Stefan and Holly hadn’t left the community pond in two weeks. Their last outing found them chasing away a cackle of hyenas who were trying to attack the neighboring zebras. Stefan was no longer in his prime. At 37 years old, his body weight amassed to 6,200 lbs. Holly was his confidant – his forever feathered friend. She would fly to his nook of the pond every day, and the two of them would gossip about the goings-on of the Sahara.

Jeffery the Jackal was cheating on his wife Johnna. Callan the Cape Hare had been evicted by the burrow’s landlord. Murphy the Mongoose lost a finger to Alfred the Alligator (by accident) the night before last. And Cheyenne the Cheetah was in heat.

“Have you heard about Cheyenne, Holly?”

“No, what’s that old bitty up to now, Stefan?”

“Word about the Sahara is she’s in heat.”

“You don’t say!!! Will Clyde and Clifton be on the lookout then for her, you think?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen hide nor hair of those two since the last desert rainstorm.”

“My word! I hope she doesn’t come prancing over here with that scent of hers. We’ve got enough problems on this side of the pond. You heard about Jeffery, right?”

“The Jackal or the Giraffe?”

“The Jackal. Berta the Barbary Sheep caught him stepping out on Johnna.”

Stefan gasped, and a pent-up ball of air escaped his wide and viciously tooth-filled mouth.

“You don’t say! Didn’t they just have a whole new litter of little ones?!”

“They sure did! Four of the little pups, if I’m not mistaken. The nerve of that over-aged pimp! She needs to leave him!”

“I doubt she will, though. Two of the older children came back home to help out. Jeffery is the breadwinner – Johnna’s stuck. He’s got her right where he wants her, and that ain’t no place I’d wanna see any of my friends.” Stefan sighs discontentedly as he says this.

The Saharan sun bows its reddened glow and hovers over Stefan and Holly before closing its eyes. Pitch black is the night sky as the two wander gingerly back to the base of the pond. A day of gossiping, galloping, and gloating has met its end.

“Same time, same place, tomorrow, Stefan?”

“I’ll be right here, Holly.”

This flash fiction piece is in response to Melissa’s Fandango Flash Fiction Challenge. This was my first go at it, and I truly enjoyed writing this story. Perhaps you’d like to try your hand at this challenge, too?

Photos From This Past Weekend

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Basement hallway vibes – on the way to the fitness room. Saturday, March 08, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Saturday morning workout: feeling good, feeling great. Saturday, March 08, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
The Little Monster in her most relaxed state. There have been no more seizures since last Sunday. *Knocks wood* Saturday, March 08, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
I started reading this book this past Friday evening and finished it on Saturday. I simply cannot believe how talented this writer was. If I am not mistaken, I read she is no longer with us in the WordPress community. The book mentioned she had struggled with breast cancer for 17 years and was taking the hospice & palliative care path. I reviewed this book via Amazon and Goodreads. It’s an amazing collection of gut-punching poetry. Saturday, March 08, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Sunday morning workout. I’m down 15 lbs since November of 2024. And I would like to lose 15 more in the next 4-5 months. Sunday, March 09, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
I am making my own sauces, pickles, toppings, compotes, etc. I diced cucumbers for pickles this time around. The ingredients were one cucumber, fresh chopped garlic, 1/2 serrano pepper, honey, ginger, brown sugar, apple cider vinegar, white vinegar, water, and various seasonings. In the Manuka Honey squeezable bottle is the juice from my last canned pickles batch and some olive oil to act as an oil & vinegar sauce for my sandwiches/subs. Sunday, March 09, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Lentils! If you’ve been following me for a hot minute, you know I love lentils. I actually rinsed this batch that was remaining in a bag and pre-seasoned them as well. I put a little apple cider vinegar and water in with them and placed the jar back in the cabinet. I can’t wait to have lentil soup in the next two weeks or so! Sunday, March 09, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Sunday night dinner: pan-seared rib tips, seasoned white rice, and lima beans. Sunday, March 09, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

Life is such a precious thing. Every time I think about every day I am given, I am thankful. I mentioned to the crush today that when Jernee finally does pass away, I will be completely and utterly alone. Her response to me was, “Let’s not dwell on that today, please.” I was simply stating a fact – albeit, random as it was, a fact, nonetheless. She didn’t want me to break down or shut down, and I get that. I do. Jernee’s vet visit is this coming Thursday, and we will see what’s what.

The weather has been a bit topsy-turvy since the time change, and I am dealing with some rather mischievous allergies. My left eye is red and swollen, so I guess I’ll be wearing my glasses for the next few days and not my scleral eye contacts. Spring is just around the corner, so I see it’s doling out its gifts early. *Sighs*

Here’s hoping the week ahead will be a fantastic one for all of you. Stay safe. Stay sane. Stay present!

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

Something To Think About #2

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The squirrel is not a wasteful creature.

A perfect breakfast. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

squirrel hustles for food
eats breakfast in
the open
public display of
h u n g e r and
satisfaction

I will share “Something To Think About” for the next fourteen weeks on Sunday afternoons. It may be a quote, a picture, an interesting phrase I heard, artwork, etc. Whatever I share will surely be intriguing or involving enough to spark a casual discussion or in-depth conversation. Stay tuned every Sunday for this new feature!

Peace and blessings.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?