Tag: Writing

Poem for an Image

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#9: Care Package

A friend of mine popped up to my job on Thursday to lay a care package at my feet. In it, a lovely card, fuzzy socks (my favorite item of comfort clothing!), a most suitable coffee mug, chocolate (made with oat milk), the indomitable writer and spoken word phenomenon, Lisa Marie Lovett’s (SeasonedDialogue on all platforms) book, a pleasantly fragranced candle, and a beautiful plant. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Care Package by Tremaine L. Loadholt

I hadn’t realized how poignant Jernee’s
death was until the people I love
started gifting me things that
make my heart smile.

Out of the blue, pieces of this
world made their acquaintance with me.
A book, a candle, a mug, some fuzzy socks,
decorative window ornaments, and so
much more.

How did that little four-legged creature
jump into the hearts of others
just as she sashayed effortlessly into mine?

To have someone pop up at the gig
casually ask for you, and then
unload a hug so deep it
touches your soul while handing
you a wicker basket full of what
now connects you even more to them
is love personified.

I didn’t have the words. I almost
didn’t have the legs to stand on
because the gesture had been a
sweet blow to my heart.

I wrapped her in my arms, thanked her
profusely, and assured her that
these gifts will never go unnoticed.
They are the divine circling us back
into each other’s line of sight.

Talking points of a loss heavier than
any I have ever experienced; a feature
film open for all to see.
There are only a few seats left
at the table of love… come one, come all
while there’s still time.

This friend is a former co-worker of mine. While I simply shifted back to a department where I previously worked, we are still employed by the same organization. I am now back to being patient-facing, and I no longer work from home. She still does. We correspond with each other regularly via Teams and text message; however, to see her smiling face this past Thursday, and to know just how special I have to be to her for her to tap into all the things that bring me peace and joy, lets me know that our friendship is forever.

Below is a YouTube Short of one of my favorite Spoken Word Poets, Lisa Marie Lovette, aka Seasoned Dialogue. The fact that she copped her book for me left/leaves me speechless.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.

If I Didn’t Have Zumi…

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I’m certain it’d be ten times harder to deal with the loss of Jernee

Zumi Tye: Sunday Morning Antics Part I

I got Zumi Tye just a little under one month before Jernee Timid’s sixteenth birthday last year. I had wanted an aquatic turtle, and upon my search to attain one, I was unsuccessful.

They’re harder to purchase as a pet you intend to domesticate because of various laws. I went to four different locations, and at the final location, which was the Reptile Zoo and Pet Center, the owner and pet handler schooled me on land-based tortoises, instead, and I fell in love with the idea of having a land-based tortoise instead of an aquatic turtle.

I fervently believe that if I did not have Zumi Tye during this time, it would be ten times harder for me to adjust to life without Jernee.

I still have something to care for, something to receive all this shackled-up love, and something to grow with me. It’s a beautiful feeling to know that all is not lost, and ZuZu needs me just as much as I need it. I believe God does what He does before we see the end result. He knows what we need before we need it. And with this little reptile of mine, I’m never sad for an entire day.

It absolutely will not let me wallow, and maybe that’s a little bit of Jernee shining through, too.

Zumi Tye: Sunday Morning Antics Part II

I miss my sweet and fierce girl, but there’s still NEVER a dull moment in our home.

Happy Sunday, beautiful people. May you share the shackled-up love you have inside you with someone or something today.

Peace and blessings.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.

horde escape & on our terms

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Two poems shared on Substack notes

horde escape

you will most likely never find me in
a horde of people looking as though
I’m in a place that carries comfort.

If I am, I assure you, I’m forcing my
body to be at peace, to try to enjoy my
surroundings. I’m never at ease in
those situations.

they are few. they are far between.
the path leading to them fades away
more as the years pile on to my age.

I am not who I used to be, I’m a
new person in an old body.
I’m both familiar and unfamiliar, and this
is what intrigues
you.

on our terms

the most difficult thing I experienced
with Jernee during her decline were the
lucid moments. I feared becoming
looped into their trap.

she wasn’t the same, and I knew
that, heart & soul, but sometimes my
baby would look up at me as if she
recognized my face, and I’d be putty
in five seconds.

“it’s only going to get worse” became the
anthem in my home, followed by, “this
sounds like a brain tumor,” and with
each regressive instance, I was
reassured…

I cut death to the quick, and
offered it a seat at the table.

if it was going to take my baby, it’d
be on our terms.
but was it, though?

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.

Poem for an Image

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#6: Saturday lunch

Throwback cooking: I purchased a small can of Crisco All Vegetable Shortening because I was feeling nostalgic, and I’m glad I did. My fish tasted like crispy heaven, and my cheese grits were absolutely delicious! Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

a late lunch, early dinner
after a day of work;
overtime was easy to
get, needed the distraction.

a full belly clapped in
appreciation, my legs
buckled twenty minutes
after–naptime knocked at
my temples, rest found
me in a zone.

I needed the food.
I needed the sleep.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.

The Sweet Reminder of Dog Heaven

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A Book Review

Dog Heaven by Cynthia Ryfant. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

A writing buddy had the above book delivered to me on Saturday, September 13, 2025. I’d viewed my camera/doorbell’s activity while I was visiting with my mother and noticed someone leaving a package. I hadn’t ordered anything, so my mind began racing about what it could be. Shortly after, I recalled a lovely and talented writing friend of mine requesting my mailing address; confirming it, really, and a lightbulb flickered.

Part of me wanted to get home to see what it could possibly be, and the other part of me wanted to remain right where I was with my mom, so as to not shed any more tears for the weekend.

I was happy to see the above book. Although I would mark the age range for this book for children, ages 4-12, anyone can benefit from reading Dog Heaven. It gave me all the feels and lifted me up during my deepest moments of sorrow.

Below is the review I left for it on Amazon and Goodreads.

I needed this book! 

After recently losing my sweet Little Monster of 17 years, I came home from visiting my mom and found this book at my door.

A writing buddy of mine had it sent to me. Knowing my connection and love for my dog, she thought it would be the perfect gesture. Someone she knows had the same book delivered to her shortly after she dealt with the loss of her dog.

Dog Heaven not only made me smile, but it calmed my heart. It allowed me to shed a few tears while reflecting on the best memories I have of my time spent with my little one. It made me believe my purpose was fulfilled with my dog.

Chock full of happy feelings, sweet illustrations, and a loving storyline for everyone to enjoy, Dog Heaven is a great book to gift to someone grieving and dealing with a fresh loss of their pet.

It’s a tiny glimmer of hope, sprinkled with joy, and wrapped in love.

Grief is going to continue to come in waves. Mourning will only be as beautiful and self-serving as I will allow it, but this book… this book helped me immediately after the change in my life felt like real change.

If you know anyone dealing with the loss of their pet, I recommend this book. It is truly near and dear to my heart now, and I could not have asked for anything better.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.

Erasing Jernee on Paper

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But not from my heart

Spending my last 15 minutes with my baby, Jernee Timid, while she was in the twilight phase of her End-of-Life process. At this point, we were talking about Jernee’s character and how she was VERY MUCH a DIVA, and I am clearly not. We took time to laugh, too. Friday, September 12, 2025. Photo Credit: Karlie B. Cornelius

you didn’t know we needed to
do a thorough walkthrough of your
apartment to make sure the
dog you say is dead is really… dead?
it’s in your lease–a clause; once your pet
has transitioned, in order to reverse any
pet rent fees, we have to verify what needs
to be verified.

silly me, here I was thinking the
receipt from the vet’s office with
the amount it costs for the
euthanasia services would be
enough. it’s not.
you actually want to come to
my unit, lay eyes on my private
space, and look for a being who
is no longer alive.

be my guest.

I’d say inconsiderate. I’d say insensitive.
but this feels like garbage–the icky
kind that bulges up at the
bottom of the bin and sticks to
the corners of it when the city comes to
dump the contents in their truck.
I comply.
after all, we must follow the rules.

I make the request to delete my
information from the PetSmart app, submit
my request to deactivate Chewy, and
issue a note to PetScreening that asks
you to select the reason the
account is no longer necessary.
“Jernee Timid has passed away.”
“I have re-homed Jernee Timid.”
“Jernee Timid has run away.”
“This profile for Jernee Timid is a duplicate.”
“I am no longer residing at the associated property.”

I select the first option.
I am prompted to confirm what I
have selected–make sure I’m not a robot.
I click submit and watch the words
flash across the screen regarding how
this company will make my apartment
community’s property manager aware of
the information I submitted to them.

everyone wants to be sure my baby
has zero breaths left…that
she really is taking a dirt nap,
and have I really lost the best
thing that has happened to my heart
since learning how to love?

I could not have prepared myself for
erasure of this magnitude.
Jernee’s not here, but she is.
Jernee’s not here, but she is.
Jernee’s not here, but everyone
believes that she is.

and my heart knows she is not.
but my heart has a special place
for her where she will always linger…
and the boot soles of capitalism may take her
away from me on paper, but they’ll never
strip her away from the lining of
a muscle that beats strongly for her
in life and in death.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.