Category: Fear

Dissecting “pulse”. Exploring My Words

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Courtesy of our own WordPress Barry White, Nigel Byng

Image created by Nigel Byng at Helping You To Succeed

I concluded my thoughts on this poem by silently recognizing how powerful human connection can be amidst a crisis. Tre wrote in free verse and used such vivid imagery that I was allowed to experience the urgency of a singular moment. And it felt all too real, as these are experiences that I, too, have had. I reflected on the impact of compassion and courage that most of us demonstrate in our daily lives, and I realized that I have allowed many opportunities to be the hero to pass by. —Nigel Byng

My writing about a dream I had turned into someone’s amazing perception of it, and not only did Nigel dissect this poem thoroughly and give it a new life with his words, but he also read it aloud.

pulse is a piece that came to me in late summer of last year, after I had what I would consider a bad dream. It garnered a decent amount of discussion from readers who felt something while reading my words. I am delighted to share what Nigel had to say about it, and also his velvety voice, too.

Exploring Poetry – A weekly reading series – Ep 4: Pulse by Tremaine Loadholt

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook

Guard Your Empathy

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A Book Review

The Cruelty by Candice Louisa Daquin. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

If I can be completely and utterly honest, there are probably about six books I can recall from my entire lifetime that have shaken me to the very core and left my mouth agape while I read them, and long after, when I think about them. The Cruelty by Candice Louisa Daquin has been added to that small collection.

As a debut novel, I expected more turns of phrase and moments of slipping into poetry, since this is the author’s main genre, and although there are bits of poetic cameos, this is definitely a novel through and through.

The gory and thoroughly brutal details are so vivid, I cringed during many chapters, and was forced to take my fair share of breaks to avoid sensory overload.

My patience and empathy were tested.

I wanted to fight, to jump into various scenes with guns a-blazing, to light the demon and his demon spawn on fire and watch them burn—anything to provide aid to the story’s protagonists, but they clearly did not need my help.

I got lost in every inch of every page of this book, and I know for a fact that other readers will, too.

Here is the review I shared on Amazon and Goodreads:

The “Cruelty” is an Understatement

I don’t think I’ve ever read something as emotionally stressful, yet incredibly engulfing and enveloping as “The Cruelty.” As her debut novel, Candice Louisa Daquin unleashes an undeniably sound writing style incorporating gore with poetically flowing imagery that managed to keep me glued to the storyline—afraid to look away, but also having to take a few breaks to be able to fully digest the content.

What both Camila and Julia endured surpasses True Crime and Unsolved Mystery episodes. And to come out on top and in love, with hopes of a flourishing future?! That is the Chef’s kiss I didn’t see coming.

I applaud the author for taking a chance on this novel and sharing its intense content. The bite of it is sharp and long-standing, and the characters are layered; feeling like family or the creepy neighbors of which one steers clear.

The way the novel ends signals there could be a sequel? And in all honesty, I am eager to see if that will come to fruition.

After taking a deep dive into a book that is so creatively woven to hit several genres of writing, I now wonder, what would top this?

Will Candice Louisa Daquin give us another piece of Camila’s puzzled life?

I surely hope so.

If you’re looking for a rape-revenge, intense survivor thriller, and a warranted cliffhanger, this should be your next read. You will need a solid stomach for gore, vulgarity, and vivid descriptions that fit extreme levels of mental, physical, and emotional abuse.

This page-turner will do more than enthrall you; it will change you forever.

Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt is available now! Have you gotten your copy? Hardcover|eBook

pulse

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a stranger cupped my
hand in hers at the curb
of the crosswalk, and looked
at me pleadingly.

I am funny about touch if
I don’t know you, and sometimes
even when I do, but I knew
something was wrong
when I saw her eyes dancing
like they were running away
from terror.

I tilted my head and leaned
into her personal space and
smelled fear.
caution warned me not
to turn around, so I didn’t,
but I could hear him
breathing.

a cop–woman, stood by
her cruiser a block away,
and sitting shotgun was her
partner. I looked at her, raising
my tethered hand, and then
looked at the silent woman,
and the cop knew.

the man started running
as soon as their eyes locked.
the silent woman sat in
the backseat, and closed
the cruiser’s door.

I walked two blocks home,
dangling my hand at my
side, twiddling my fingers,
feeling the lonesome lack of
the woman’s grip.

I prayed for her safety as
my pulse quickened.

This was my dream from last night. I hope it isn’t a premonition or a vision into what will happen.

Mandy Patinkin Has a Powerful Message|Hope Still Lives

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And it nearly crushed my heart, but I’m glad he said it; I’m just saddened that he had to.

Mandy Patinkin’s Urgent Message to Jews Worldwide

Patinkin grew up in an upper-middle-class family, descended from Jewish immigrants from Russia and Poland, and was raised in Conservative Judaism, attending religious school daily from the age of seven to 13 or 14 and singing in synagogue choirs, as well as attending the Camp Sura in Michigan.

Fine Art America/Images

hope still lives, or at least, I think it does

many of us don’t
really have a heyday
to refer to–shouldn’t
we all–isn’t that
some sort of
requirement to doing
life the way it should
be done?!

I could be
overthinking this as
I typically do with
all things, but in my
head, it makes sense
for this to make
sense.

I know I can’t be the
only one.
I hope I’m not the
only one.

but it wouldn’t be
the first time, and
that, somehow, is
oddly relieving.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.

solistitial & jujitsu’d out of love

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Two poems written on Substack notes

solistitial

a solstitial event was
the day she left
silence at the foot
of our friendship.

there is nothing
more heartbreaking
than a woman who
doesn’t know her
heart’s desire being
capable of crushing
the heart of another.

now I have a
timestamp of when
I learned the phrase
“I will never hurt you.”
has an unspoken addendum:

“unless I’m afraid of what
your love can do
to me.”

jujitsu’d out of love

I’m at a point where
my mind is debating
with my heart to
not have it jujitsu
it anymore.

it’s tired of fighting a
fight for lackluster
love and never
winning.

I used to be a
strategic runner–
hurdling over dead
weight and con
people.

now I lean into
obstacles with heavy
artillery stationed
around my person.

I handle war much
differently in my
older years.

I know how my
battles often portray
themselves, and I
fight smart not hard.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.

until it all fades

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musical selection: One Step Ahead, Aretha Franklin

One Step Ahead, Aretha Franklin via YouTube

until it all fades

we’re all just moving
about robotically;
carrying years of
hurt on our backs.

our scrabbly efforts
have done nothing to
alleviate the pain.

forced to exist in a
world of crafted
terror, the light at the
end of the tunnel
f a d e s.

Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?

I recently signed up to write on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about the most recent events with my place of employment as it pertains to racism and discrimination. I welcome your visit.