Solstice Sadness
Winter sneaks in, draped
in drama, hands on
heavy hips, waiting to
cover us in dysfunction.
I know I won’t say anything
when I see her today, but I’ll
want to. And she won’t say anything–I’m the expressive
one when it comes to
“such a time as this.”
We’re feeding off of cold
energy–trying to warm our
hearts, both too afraid of
being hurt–it’s just around the
corner, yet we’re holding on.
The Emotions’ “What Do the
Lonely Do at Christmas” comes
on and tears stream down
my face.
How can you listen to this
song and not feel something?
The air outside sends a chill
to my bones that is indescribable.
I am frosty–winterfied by
jealous winds and made stoic
in the presence of God’s
season.
“You have too many periods
in that one statement for me
to feel comfortable about your
reply” she tells me as she reads
my response to her asking me
not to hate her for picking
up another shift that cuts our
time in half, and I read and
reread the statement, and the
only thing I can come up with
is, “I don’t know why you’re
uncomfortable. I place periods
where they belong. It’s
grammatically correct.”
My spectrum brain didn’t see
the coldness of it–the short-and-to-the-pointness of it, and I
have to remind her sometimes
it’s best I communicate verbally
because word of mouth
in written form can be
misconstrued.
We agree it’s our emotions
taking over . . . we care too
much not to care at all,
and this season always finds
us tugging war with ourselves
and the battles are many.
I am fighting for more than
peace and strength.
I am fighting to be understood
by a world that may never
understand me but it
hurts so much more when
she tries and she can’t, either.
Happy Winter Solstice, beautiful people! I’ll be spending this day with someone very near & dear to me. I hope all of you will get the chance to do the same.
Have you gotten your copy of my new book: a collection of serial tales & flash fiction, Séduire (E-Book and Paperback) yet?
A Cornered Gurl 
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