it’s still grief

a photo reel of Jernee as a puppy & a poem

Jernee Timid Loadholt: The puppy and younger years. Photo Reel Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

it’s still grief

no one prepares you
for the ache you’ll feel
each time digital
“memories” pop
into view… the love
lost will always be
found.

grieving a deceased
pet is often frowned
upon–not
recognized or
centered as a
genuine loss. and I
wonder, how can you
categorize death into
a hierarchy?

pain is pain is pain
is pain.


Have you gotten your copy of SéduireSerial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing, as I discuss recent events related to my previous place of employment, including racism and discrimination, the growth I experienced after resigning from that company, and the foibles and overall experiences of life. I welcome your visit.

Life in Photos #4

Daily photographic musings

Workout Mode. Friday, November 28, 2025. I’m on a mission. Don’t play with me! Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Lunch: Diced baked chicken, lettuce & spinach, diced tomatoes, onions, blackberries, cheese, & ranch dressing. Friday, November 28, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Ollie, the perfect Mini GoldenDoodle. I visited my friend/co-worker in the country (Dobson, NC, about 45 minutes away from me) on Saturday, November 29, 2025. I had a BALL! Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Lily (or as I call her, “Lily Girl.”), a Red Golden Retriever. She and Ollie are Niece and Uncle. LOL! Lily is my friend’s dog, and Ollie is my friend’s parents’ dog. I kept thinking about how Jernee would have had a great time with them, simply lying in the grass and enjoying the sun. Saturday, November 29, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
I swear, this could be the corn field from Children of the Corn. I mean, when you’re in the country, you take photos of corn fields. You just do. LOL! Saturday, November 29, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
My Snoopy sweater, because YAAAASSSS!!! It made everyone who saw me that day smile. Saturday, November 29, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Pond #1 along the walking trail at work. Wednesday, December 03, 2025. Pnoto Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Pond #2 along the walking trail at work. Wednesday, December 03, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Thursday, December 04, 2025, chilling in my dentist’s office, in the waiting area. My dental hygienist, while cleaning my teeth, kept saying, “Your teeth are just so clean, Tre. Goodness! They’re so clean.” Every time I go there, they compliment me on my smile and my teeth. My mouth is actually featured in photos on their website. Lawd, help. I’m particular about my oral hygiene. I’m SUPER DUPER anal retentive. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Christmas Decorations at the dentist’s office. I just love their little tree. Thursday, December 04, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
In between exams at my Optometrist/Cornea specialist’s office. For those of you who do not know, I have an eye disease called keratoconus, and I am monitored twice per year to continue to keep surgery at bay. GOOD NEWS! The eyes are the same; no changes, and there’s no need for surgery at this time. The hoodie is an item created by Ernio Hernandez, a dope artist & writer, who is in a class all by himself. Dude is out in left field with his art, and I love it! Thursday, December 04, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

Have you gotten your copy of SéduireSerial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.

Scattered Words

Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt

The cover (front and back) for Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt. Photo Collage Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

4 sections. 24 poems. 9 original photos (digitally animated by Google Gemini). 40 pages. 1 dog who is no longer with us.

The tentative publishing date is January 12, 2026, four months after Jernee’s passing.

In Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt, the author wants you, the reader, to experience Jernee in totality, and understand why she has lost the greatest companion she has ever known.

If you have ever grieved the loss of a pet, many of these poems will not only resonate with you, they will set up holding spaces in your mind, crawl into your heart, and retreat only when they have been commanded to do so.

You will laugh, cry, nod in agreement, and reminisce about your furry family member(s) and how they have become your strength. Grief is not linear, and every creeping moment it decides to invade your heart, there is a poem in this book to greet it.

In Scattered Words…, Tremaine celebrated, lamented, grieved, loved, and released Jernee Timid Loadholt. Every day, she will probably do these things againnot necessarily in that order.

If you have never met a dog who had the uncanny ability to be more memorable than some of the people you know, with this book of poems, you will have your chance.


God gifted me peace in living form, and I will never forget her, not ever.


Have you gotten your copy of SéduireSerial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.

Saving Bruce Dennis

Introducing Charlie Rhett Baylor

The image above is from Getty Images. It is a vintage photo of a young boy sitting at a table and looking mischievously at a whole turkey on a platter garnished with lettuce and tomatoes. The boy wears a suit jacket, dress shirt and tie, and his hands are folded and placed on the table. An empty dinner plate, a smaller plate with a dinner roll on it, and a full glass of milk are in front of him.

Bruce Dennis is getting so far up that the girls wail out to her, pleading for her to get back down to safety. The poor cat sits unbothered, still attached to ten red heart-shaped balloons, drifting by a will not of her own. They stomp their feet and cry out with impatience. Kinley Chris shouts downstairs to their grandmother—screaming for her help—begging her with plump tears in her eyes for her to do something.

“Grandma! Bruce Dennis is flyin’ up more and more. We need to get her down! Grandma, please!”

But their grandmother was in the very place she was before all the commotion began. The girls have no idea she is the one who hitched Bruce Dennis to the balloons—swatting the cat away for breaking her favorite vase. She had said so many times before her art room was off limits. She is going to show them better than she can tell them. But before she would wiggle her overgrown self from the vintage loveseat perfectly placed next to the only window in the art room, their young ginger-haired neighbor, Charlie Rhett Baylor, raps at their door.

“Kinley and Wayne!!! I see Brucie up in the sky. What is goin’ on, y’all?!” In between his yelling, there were frantic knocks at the door. Charlie is also thinking of a way to get the fat cat down while he continues to knock and yell. His father, Hank Baylor, is the Deputy Sheriff in town, so Charlie has a few tricks up his sleeve that will surely secure the fat cat soundly.

Wayne Donald shoots down the stairs quicker than an incoming evening tide and swings the door open. She notices Charlie’s Sunday Best attire, then waves for him to enter their home. Kinley Chris strips the bedding off the guest room’s twin mattress and tosses it out the window. She is thinking they can shoot the balloons one by one with her slingshot or BB gun, and get Bruce Dennis to land on the mattress, but they have to be quick. When Charlie meets her in the guest room, she rattles off her plan to him, and he throws his suit jacket on the box spring, kicks off his loafers, and races back downstairs so he can place the mattress in the spot where Bruce Dennis would land.

Kinley Chris loads the BB gun with .177 caliber pellets, flings the gun over her shoulder, and sets up shop right in front of the old window. Like a focused sniper, the eldest sibling tilts her head to find the subject, braces her legs for shifting, and kneels down in an experienced shooter’s position. She yells down to Charlie, who is in a frenzied state, trying to track Bruce Dennis’ landing position.

“Charlie Rhett Baylor, you gotta good eye on Brucie? I ain’t aimin’ to kill my cat when she falls, so you besta be movin’ that mattress in the right direction!”

“Yeah, I’m watchin’! I’m watichin’ ya, Kinley. You just let those bbs rip, and my eyes will be on the fat cat prize.”

Kinley Chris launches the first three pellets with vigor and swift calculation. Two more pellets follow, and Charlie is monitoring every hit and is maneuvering the mattress as if his life depends on it. Kinley Chris launches two more pellets, and Wayne Donald wails in exclamation—deathly afraid of a negative outcome.

Just before Kinley lets the last three pellets fly, Bruce Dennis is falling down at a pace none of them expects, and Charlie has his eyes on her—keenly assessing the situation as every second passes.

“I’m lettin’ these last three rip, Charlie! Make sure that mattress is placed right. Looks like Bruce Dennis is comin’ right at ya!” Each pellet hits its respective target, and the fat cat meows loud enough for the whole block to hear. She lands with a pounding thud on the mattress on her eight-lives-left paws and quickly runs toward the shed behind the house.

“Wayne Donald!” Kinley Chris turns to her sister to give the final instructions. “You go on to that shed and make sure she ain’t got no bruises or nothin’ like that, and take her a fresh bowl of milk and open a can of that good tuna for her, too.”

Charlie waits until he sees Wayne Donald, then hurries up the stairs to grab his suit jacket and loafers. His day of helping the neighbors is over, and now he has a story to tell his highly decorated Deputy Sheriff of a father.


Bruce Dennis won’t even look in the art room’s direction. She will never trust the girls’ grandmother again.


This piece is my offering for this week’s Melissa’s Fandango Flash Fiction Challenge, #348. We had to save Bruce Dennis; we simply had to.

Part I and Part II

smelling death

Jernee Timid, losing all of her energy after the initial injection on her last day with us. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

near the end, I think
my neighbor’s dog could
smell death on Jernee–could
identify she didn’t have long.

and every time I saw them
walking toward us, I’d stiffen.
my body would become a
tabernacle–solid and silent.

he’d sniff his friend, searching
Jernee for evidence of life,
and when he didn’t find it,
he’d whine to his mom.

it wasn’t until Jernee’s last
couple of days on this earth
that I realized Winnie, in his
own way, had already mourned
Jernee’s life.

he’d been greeting her death,
and I just didn’t want to
believe it.


Have you gotten your copy of SéduireSerial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.

Life in Photos #1

Daily photographic musings

Autumn colors. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Zenith, my new plant baby. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Cozy (The view from one side of my living room). Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Cozy 2 (My new chair, the beige one, is as comfortable as it looks). Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Smoked Turkey Stew (smoked turkey, turnip & mustard greens, onions, bell peppers, red & new potatoes, cherry tomatoes, chicken broth, & Basmati rice). Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Antique. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Antiques. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
The Bluest Butterfly. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Zumi Tye’s Terrarium Adventure. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

Have you gotten your copy of SéduireSerial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback (only) yet?

I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak about recent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.