The cataracts have fully-formed, her hearing is sub-par, the cystic tumor on her back, right paw coupled with her age aren’t the best candidates for surgery, yet she continues to give me joy and affection on the roughest of days; she always forgets her pain for me.
It had been years–how
many, I don’t know, but I
had missed her voice–missed
hearing her infectious laugh
pour itself through the phone.
We shared short stories,
little tales, and snippets of our
lives instantly. The first few
seconds of the call
flooded us in giggles and
questions drenched in,
“Are you still there?” “Did you
do this?” and “What age did you
get a car?”
We were trying to remember
our childhood days–the times we
shared that connected us
decades ago. She is the sister
of a friend who is the sister of
another friend and it amazes me
that after all these years, I still
know and love all three sisters.
Isn’t it funny how changes in
time grip us and pull us into
its grasp clenching on until
we acknowledge its presence?
We can move on to different
places, don different faces, but
our hearts remain the same.
A phone call led to an
overflow of positive recollections
and positive experiences.
And I needed that more than
I thought I did.
how does one escape one’s own mind? the torturous thoughts plod their way in, pumping away until the moon cries silver tears on a spring day.
a day’s pain is measured by sadness–how much is displayed–how much is there to give?
I fall out of my bed and in line with every day calling me, and take a chance on me once again.
am I worthy? can I be more?
the breaking comes when I am least prepared and the box I am shoved in gets smaller. there is no way out.
you recognize my pain
and do nothing.
Originally published via Simily.
an oversized sweatshirt becomes
a playground–fun mornings
back to back.
big smiles are welcome mats
and seeking arms want
nothing more than to
embrace a body bigger than
the one they’re attached to;
for comfort–for safety.
a rough night is instantly
replaced with a morning
drenched in surprises
and covered with chocolate
chip pancakes–so much syrup,
no one says, “When!” to stop
its flow.
a day of outside fun turns
into weeks of delightful events.
all that’s missing is
the contract to sign to
do this over and over and
over again.
ad infinitum.
down days come often
stretching their arms around me
I forget to live
people understand
they know it will take some time
I want to move on
I just can’t
A Cornered Gurl 
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