Jernee Timid Loadholt: The puppy and younger years. Photo Reel Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
it’s still grief
no one prepares you for the ache you’ll feel each time digital “memories” pop into view… the love lost will always be found.
grieving a deceased pet is often frowned upon–not recognized or centered as a genuine loss. and I wonder, how can you categorize death into a hierarchy?
pain is pain is pain is pain.
Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book& Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback(only) yet?
I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing, as I discussrecent events related to my previous place of employment, including racism and discrimination, the growth I experienced after resigning from that company, and the foibles and overall experiences of life. I welcome your visit.
Ollie, the perfect Mini GoldenDoodle. I visited my friend/co-worker in the country (Dobson, NC, about 45 minutes away from me) on Saturday, November 29, 2025. I had a BALL! Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Lily (or as I call her, “Lily Girl.”), a Red Golden Retriever. She and Ollie are Niece and Uncle. LOL! Lily is my friend’s dog, and Ollie is my friend’s parents’ dog. I kept thinking about how Jernee would have had a great time with them, simply lying in the grass and enjoying the sun. Saturday, November 29, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
I swear, this could be the corn field from Children of the Corn. I mean, when you’re in the country, you take photos of corn fields. You just do. LOL! Saturday, November 29, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
My Snoopy sweater, because YAAAASSSS!!! It made everyone who saw me that day smile. Saturday, November 29, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Pond #1 along the walking trail at work. Wednesday, December 03, 2025. Pnoto Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Pond #2 along the walking trail at work. Wednesday, December 03, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Thursday, December 04, 2025, chilling in my dentist’s office, in the waiting area. My dental hygienist, while cleaning my teeth, kept saying, “Your teeth are just so clean, Tre. Goodness! They’re so clean.” Every time I go there, they compliment me on my smile and my teeth. My mouth is actually featured in photos on their website. Lawd, help. I’m particular about my oral hygiene. I’m SUPER DUPER anal retentive. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Christmas Decorations at the dentist’s office. I just love their little tree. Thursday, December 04, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
In between exams at my Optometrist/Cornea specialist’s office. For those of you who do not know, I have an eye disease called keratoconus, and I am monitored twice per year to continue to keep surgery at bay. GOOD NEWS! The eyes are the same; no changes, and there’s no need for surgery at this time. The hoodie is an item created by Ernio Hernandez, a dope artist & writer, who is in a class all by himself. Dude is out in left field with his art, and I love it! Thursday, December 04, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book& Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback(only) yet?
I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutrecent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
The cover (front and back) for Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt. Photo Collage Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
4 sections. 24 poems. 9 original photos (digitally animated by Google Gemini). 40 pages. 1 dog who is no longer with us.
The tentative publishing date is January 12, 2026, four months after Jernee’s passing.
In Scattered Words: Poems for Jernee Timid Loadholt, the author wants you, the reader, to experience Jernee in totality, and understand why she has lost the greatest companion she has ever known.
If you have ever grieved the loss of a pet, many of these poems will not only resonate with you, they will set up holding spaces in your mind, crawl into your heart, and retreat only when they have been commanded to do so.
You will laugh, cry, nod in agreement, and reminisce about your furry family member(s) and how they have become your strength. Grief is not linear, and every creeping moment it decides to invade your heart, there is a poem in this book to greet it.
In Scattered Words…, Tremaine celebrated, lamented, grieved, loved, and released Jernee Timid Loadholt. Every day, she will probably do these things again—not necessarily in that order.
If you have never met a dog who had the uncanny ability to be more memorable than some of the people you know, with this book of poems, you will have your chance.
God gifted me peace in living form, and I will never forget her, not ever.
Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book& Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback(only) yet?
I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutrecent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
K.E. Garland (aka Kathy) of Inspirational Kwotes, Stories, & Images & I at800 Degrees in Charlotte, NC. If you’re not aware, she is also the author of several books, most recently released, In Search of a Salve: Memoir of a Sex Addict. It was our first time meeting, and I had a great time! Photo Credit: K.E. Garland/Photo enhancement & collage by Tremaine L. Loadholt
My lunch at 800 Degrees: Meatball Parm with house fries. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Hallway art: an image in my apartment building. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
One thing about us Southerners is that we love our chicken-fried steak, cheese eggs, and biscuits & gravy. Sunday breakfast at Mama Zoe’s, from Sunday, November 09, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Lost chickens? They were just hanging out in front of the fitness building in the same shopping center as Mama Zoe’s. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Lazy eye game H E A V Y. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
A sneak peek at the fit for last Saturday, November 08, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
I purchased a scalp massager from my loctician when she was done with my hair. This tool has truly become one of my favorite things to use for massaging my scalp & keeping my locs from combining or curling into one another. I have curly/wavy hair, so that can be an issue for locs. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
Zumi Tye was coming out for the morning, and breakfast is what Zuse craved. LOL! Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
The girls: Stacey-Lou, Bella-Rue, and Rylee-Blu, my best friend, Mook’s Boston Terriers. She sent a video of them watching TV to me, and I snapped a screenshot to capture them in a freeze-frame photo. I love these little rascals, and I was able to see them on Saturday, November 15, 2025. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt, c/o Mook’s video.
Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book& Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback(only) yet?
I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutrecent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
I am writing, compiling, and gathering poems in honor of my baby girl
Jernee Timid as a puppy. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt, Enhanced/Cartoonized by Google Gemini
I am working on a book of poems for Jernee Timid, in memory of her life and the incredible loss I’ve experienced. I am no stranger to sifting through poems; picking and choosing pieces that make the cut, and culling others that do not. These poems, though… something about not including them—the ones not making the cut, feels wrong—feels spiteful. I cannot explain it.
I wrote them during her life. I wrote them after she died. They all have a little bit of her wrapped up in them, and I can’t see myself not having them be a part of something as significant as a dedication to her time spent on earth alongside me.
The cover photo for the book is shown above. I decided to use a photo of her as a puppy, enhancing it using AI to give it a more cartoon-like feel, because the content that follows may or may not be easy to digest.
I have always written through pain—the death of my favorite companion is no different. I am writing through it. I will continue to write through it for as long as I need to do so. Jernee would understand that. Heck, The Little Monster might’ve even appreciated it.
There is a title (I will share it as time gets closer to the publishing date), and I plan to release the book in early February of next year, or toward the end of this year. It truly depends on how I feel. Who would I be if I did not publish a book of poems for the greatest love of my life? Not Tre, I can tell you that.
I will keep all of you updated.
Peace and blessings.
Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book& Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback(only) yet?
I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutrecent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
Jernee Timid, losing all of her energy after the initial injection on her last day with us. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt
near the end, I think my neighbor’s dog could smell death on Jernee–could identify she didn’t have long.
and every time I saw them walking toward us, I’d stiffen. my body would become a tabernacle–solid and silent.
he’d sniff his friend, searching Jernee for evidence of life, and when he didn’t find it, he’d whine to his mom.
it wasn’t until Jernee’s last couple of days on this earth that I realized Winnie, in his own way, had already mourned Jernee’s life.
he’d been greeting her death, and I just didn’t want to believe it.
Have you gotten your copy of Séduire: Serial Tales & Flash Fiction at Lulu in E-Book& Paperback versions, or Amazon in Paperback(only) yet?
I am on Substack as well. Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun is a place of healing as I speak aboutrecent events with a previous place of employment, as it pertains to racism and discrimination, growth from the transition after resigning from that company, and life’s foibles and overall experiences. I welcome your visit.
A Cornered Gurl 
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