surrender or die trying

trE

an audio poem

surrender or die trying by Tremaine L. Loadholt via SoundCloud

like Nas’ “It Ain’t Hard To Tell“,
when we spot each other
in a room full of our
workmates, we fight to get
to that hug we’ve been
missing–that embrace that
saddles us with contentment.

we fight for the purity of touch.

I know you. you know me.
we broke down walls to be
able to say, “She’s whole
without being halved.”
we have the drop on
one another but we’ll never
use it.

I am counting down the days
until I see you again.
until I get to hear that
Flint, Michigan accent with a sprinkle
of the Deep South swirling
on your tongue.

maybe it’ll be the right time
to say, “Yes” to what we’ve
had to say “No” to for
so long.

or maybe I’m just living
through my fantasies
again–envisioning you as the
key to my heart’s happiness.
or maybe, we’re treading
lightly because the heavy waves
are getting heavier and we
need these damn jobs.

we’ve been cautious for years.

and there’s no cat and mouse
with us–we’re simply plagued
by curiosity and frozen from
impending corporate damage.

how long will we be able to
hold up our end of the
bargain before we have to
surrender?

are we willing to battle
in the wars of political correctness for the honor
of true love?

am I?

*Background music: It Ain’t Hard Tell instrumental, produced by The Large Professor

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