Pandemic – A Cornered Gurl

Meeting Family for the First Time

12/04/202212/04/2022trE

Musical Selection: Kindred the Family Soul|All My People

I’ve known them for over two years and have never seen them

Photo of my plants: Dora, Jupiter, and our newcomer, Lyric. Photo collage credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

On Saturday, December 03, 2022, I had the lovely opportunity to meet part of my work family. Yes, I said, “family.” I mean it. I’ve shared some harsh and intense days in radiology scheduling with these individuals.

We have a hard job — one that attempts to pummel us daily, but we all band together to provide support, guidance, understanding, and love to each other. I spend the bulk of my weekdays with them virtually (we work from home) and some of my Saturdays. These are my people. My family.

I have no shame in saying it. None at all.

Our direct supervisor has been trying to plan an outing for us to meet for what seems like forever, but this time, it happened. And I could not be happier.

BBQ can bring people together

One day, amidst a crazy scheduling day of the week, we all received an email including a poll on where we’d like to go and a selection of dates for when we’d like to meet.

Most of us chose yesterday and a city that is halfway between Winston-Salem and Charlotte, North Carolina. Our supervisor mentioned the barbeque spot, The Smoke Pit, and we were “all in for the win!”

This was my first outing to a restaurant to sit down and eat since before the pandemic began.

I was anxious. I was terrified. I almost backed out. But I am glad I did not.

My plate of food. Burned ends, fried okra, macaroni-n-cheese, and cornbread. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

When I arrived, only one of my team members was there. She was still sitting in her truck. I had questioned the restaurant staff about our party and no one had been inside or seated yet.

Anxiety continued to mount.

I knew everyone was on the way, but try telling that to my nerves. I decided not to pace in front of the establishment and walked over to my team member’s truck.

She had stated in our group’s text message she had already been there parked in the car lot. She was easy to spot.

We went in, grabbed a table, and waited for everyone else to arrive.

There is nothing like good food to usher in a good time. As you can see, the meal I had was not only picture-worthy, but it was satisfying as well.

Barbecue can do that. It has the power to bring people together.

Original abstract artwork by Lindilu Q, she’s also on Instagram. Photo collage by Tremaine L. Loadholt

Sharing smiles, games, and enjoying each other’s presence

Aside from the delicious food, there was a numbers game that included original paintings by one of my co-workers as gifts.

We did about three rounds of this game, and I took four different paintings home. I am going to give two of them to my mother (not pictured above).

We shared stories that involved incidents at work, how we feel about our new phone system, and missing supervisors and co-workers who have left us for other opportunities.

Our presence in this space drew attention from other customers, but we did not care. We had not seen each other or had congregated on this level in over two years, and having a blast was on the agenda.

A definite blast was had.

I conquered my fear, and it was worth it

For a little over two years, I had not sat down in a restaurant among other patrons to eat and enjoy a meal or conversation with anyone. I have placed orders with various eateries I love, selected the option for delivery or pickup, and casually went about my life.

I had a small meeting with one of my co-workers at a favorite coffee spot of mine nearly three months ago. Besides us, there were probably four to five other people in that small space. I also met up with Sherry Kappel for lunch at a spot that served patrons (and their dogs) outside a few months back as well. Neither was as overwhelming as this event nor did they send my nerves into overdrive.

This experience was a leap into something I now know I can do — I faced my fear of heading back into the “wild.”

And being with a group of people who I laugh, cry, and vent with every single workday was more than worth it.

Our supervisor not only paid for the holiday meet-up but also gave each of us a Croton houseplant (I’ve named mine “Lyric”), Christmas candy, and positive affirmations (at least 30 of them in a decorative jar). She showered us with love, just as she does every single day.

Sometimes family doesn’t have to have the same blood coursing through their veins as you. Sometimes family is who you choose and who chooses you.

Kindred the Family Soul, All My People

Originally published in A Cornered Gurl via Medium.

Back Then – Poem by Ali Grimshaw

11/07/2022trE

This poem is in response to the Pandemic Haibun Challenge that’s currently underway in the publication, A Cornered Gurl via Medium. Thank you trE for the opportunity for shared reflection. Noticings are always within reach if your eyes are open. A friend’s phone call, text photo, or cherished smile from six feet away can keep your cup from emptiness. Yet […]
Back Then – Poem by Ali Grimshaw

Many of you have seen my post here about the Pandemic Haibun Challenge that’s currently underway in my publication, A Cornered Gurl via Medium. Above is a response to it from a writer here in our WordPress community, Ali Grimshaw. I follow her for her vivid imagination, her peaceful approach to creativity, and her ability to conquer a writing prompt.

I am glad she responded and took on the challenge. Give her haibun a read, it’s definitely worth it, beautiful people.

Out of Touch – Pandemic Haibun Challenge — Becoming Unstuck

11/05/2022trE

Thanks to my dear friend, Tre, for hosting this challenge! Before the pandemic, I wasn’t aware that so many people would miss physical contact with others. How could I not have known something so obvious? By not having thought about it before. I have a bad tendency to scoff at people who are touchy-feely. The […]
Out of Touch – Pandemic Haibun Challenge — Becoming Unstuck

Many of you have seen my post here about the Pandemic Haibun Challenge that’s currently underway in my publication, A Cornered Gurl via Medium. Above is a response to it from a writer here in our WordPress community, Magarisa. Mags is a dear friend of mine; we don’t need to speak every single day or week or month, but we are linked to one another in a way that cannot be described. We always meet back up in the middle, and it’s a beautiful thing.

I follow her for the peace she possesses, her love of language and sharp imagery, and her ability to single-handedly murder a writing prompt.

scarlet ~ a haibun — Mindfills

11/05/2022trE

Scarlet dreams in white silence course through my veins in autumn contemplation. Will it ever be the same? Two years of you and me in our haven of unreality. Us against the virulent, vicious world. And then through the cracks of our front door, a sliver of light of tomorrows whispered, beckoned, lured, you and […]
scarlet ~ a haibun — Mindfills

Many of you have seen my post here about the Pandemic Haibun Challenge that’s currently underway in my publication, A Cornered Gurl via Medium. Above is a response to it from a writer here in our WordPress community, Sangeetha. I follow her for the depth of her words, her strength of brevity, and the creativity she wields that has no end.

This haibun touched me and moved me, and I am thankful for this community.

A Cornered Gurl Has a New Look

09/12/202109/21/2021trE

ACG’s new logo. Created with Canva. Tremaine L. Loadholt

I had been meaning to switch up A Cornered Gurl’s look and feel for a few months now. I wanted something more permanent—something that spoke to who I am and what I have been experiencing of late. I am sure it’s no surprise to anyone reading. I am exhausted. Life is doing its best to sucker-punch me at every turn, but I live on. I fight on. There is still much more to be done. We are about to head into the year 2022, and we still have a raging pandemic at our heels. THERE IS STILL A PANDEMIC!!! When I look at those words, something in me crushes. My soul is in a constant state of unease. Why are we still here? How are we still here?

Several shifts in my mental state, my line of work, and my life overall led me to realize that the exploratory uses of artistic images from other incredible artists just aren’t enough for me. Sure, they all have given the site a fresh and sleek look with a great deal of appeal, but this new logo is me. It says it all. It gives you exactly who I am: “I am more than breath & bones. I am nectar in waiting.” And, it depicts an image of how I see myself these days with the woman created with digital line art. I am here—not here. I am living—not living. I am . . .

We are all struggling in some way of our own. Nothing about this situation has been easy. Loved ones are dead. Friends’ lives have been changed forever. Many of us are cabin fevered out, but it is for our own safety—our own health. But for how much longer? I am sick and tired. SICK AND TIRED! The audacity of the privileged or the ignorant or the arrogant or the people who have been “othered” a lot more because of this virus laughs heartily in our faces. We have the power to control this thing, however, we have chosen a different path.

A Cornered Gurl is my personal space in this humongous World Wide Web and if I cannot be comfortable anywhere else, I must be comfortable here. I have to be comfortable here. I am not ready to go or be anywhere else.