NaPoWriMo #14

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keratoconus II

A little ray of sunshine before my keratoconus/scleral contacts follow-up|Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

follow-up on cornea scarring
and hazing, and good news
to that; no new scarring.
no new hazing.

however …

my corneas have gotten
steeper in each eye, even after
wearing the recommended
scleral contacts since last
November.

my vision is running away
from me, and I am chasing
after it trying to pull it
back to me.
trying to love it again;
harder & heavier.

unfortunately …

it is doing what it wants
to do and my ophthalmologist
wants to pursue a procedure
called “Collagen Cross-linking“
and I do not have any more
passion to give this
man of expertise regarding
my care.

I nod and listen, and I
understand everything he says,
yet I tell him, “I would much
rather continue to wear
my scleral contacts until
November of this year. That
would be one full year.
Let’s reassess at that time.”

Hesitant, he leans toward my
line of thinking, and we schedule
another appointment.

I toggle between him and
my optometrist; they work
on my eye care in-tandem.
I will see her in May.
I hope she’ll have better news
for me, and even if she doesn’t,
I have given this to God.

I will not stress over it.
I will not lend it my heart.
I will not spiral down into
unshakeable pity.

keratoconus, you will
not, and I put emphasis
on “NOT” steal my joy.
You can’t have it.

keratoconus I

**The visit on Thursday, April 13, 2023, with the ophthalmologist did not provide the details I thought it would. The corneas are getting steeper which means that eventually, my vision could keep getting even more blurry.

The ophthalmologist recommended a procedure called (Corneal) Collagen Cross-linking which would be performed out at Duke University in Durham, and I pretty much pumped the brakes on that idea and informed him that I would much rather continue to wear my scleral contacts until at least the middle of this November which would be a full year.

We are going to reassess on November 21st of this year and I will meet with his colleague at that time, but I also have an appointment with my optometrist in May, so I am going to get her opinion on this, too. So that’s where we are now. I was not released from his care due to these recent changes.

This is for God to handle. My gut started speaking to me as soon as my ophthalmologist began explaining everything about the next steps. Those are NOT my next steps. We’ll see what May reveals & then what November of this year further reveals before I begin letting surgeons/specialists/doctors surgically enhance (or botch up) my vision.

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