No Negative Energy, Please.

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No Negative Energy, Please.

For the audio content for this post, please click the file above. The situation that occurred was too heavy on my heart tonight to simply write about it. I had to record it. Please know and understand, I recognize the fact that I cannot get rid of my mom–she is a total part of my life, but there will be things that will change for me to be able to continue to be around her without completely breaking down.

Her energy will have to shift. And I pray that we grow to a place where I can see that happen before one of us dies.

Take care of yourself, and be well.

48 thoughts on “No Negative Energy, Please.

  • trE, this is the most perfect example of boundaries, setting boundaries, protecting your energy, etc. Kudos to you for this. There are some things and/or people that you have to just let go of.
    “Hell to the GD nah!” Love it.
    But she ended up coming, right?

    Liked by 1 person

  • Merry Christmas trE!πŸŽ„
    You’re a good daughter and tried your best.
    Profound wisdom and straight up good advice… you did your best!
    Enjoy your time any way.. you have a great voice!

    Liked by 1 person

  • Thank you for setting this down for all of us to help bring the RIGHT energy into this sacred time. MANY people needed to receive this message including me. It is so hard to put those gloves down and step out of the ring, especially when you know nobody’s going to communicate the problem and the solution as well or as lovingly as yourself. My therapist asked me a question once, β€œWhat is the worst thing that will happen, if you let that person fall?” All my answers were pure superstition, founded on no point of fact. You have to take care of your own soul. Nourish yourself well, my friend, and enjoy your precious time with Jernee and all the magic you make in the world! 🌟

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, Sun! I appreciate you. Happy Holidays to you. Peace and blessings to you and your family. πŸ™πŸΎπŸ’™

      Liked by 1 person

  • This resonated with me on a number of levels that I won’t go into detail online. And I know exactly what you mean when you said that something inside you shut down. All that was said above is quite wise – you can’t change anyone, you can only control “you” and how you react. During the course of this pandemic, I’ve had such similar conversations with my Black/Caribbean/daughter peers and it feels as if we are all setting boundaries now. You did the right thing. Hugs to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  • I’m so glad you will be with some family on Christmas even if it isn’t your mom. I’m sorry this happened but maybe it’s best this way. Try not to let her get under your skin, and enjoy the time with Jernee and your cousin. Do your thing when you get home, and trust that she is probably doing her thing as well. I don’t know her age or anything but maybe the real reason is she’s tired and just wants to stay home. Maybe she thought you’d accept her excuse as valid instead of telling you the truth. Regardless, you’re right, you don’t need that negativity on Christmas or any other time. Peace, joy, and Merry Christmas πŸŽ„ πŸ₯°

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lol. Kim, my mom typically has NO trouble speaking her mind. She’s the type of person you pray won’t speak their mind because she is blunt and sometimes has no couth. If she was tired, she would’ve said that, and she would’ve said it in a way you just wished she wouldn’t have. Lol. She’s 61.

      It’s hard for me around the Winter holidays because I suffer from seasonal depression and I am thankful for my cousins because I can always drop by and spend time with them. It just hurts because as I stated, we planned this. And up until a couple days ago, she was excited. It is just weird the way it all transpired.

      I’m ready to celebrate the holiday with slightly different plans, and I’m going to enjoy it to the fullest!

      I’ll check on her and wish her well, and tell her I love her, and keep it moving.

      I hope you’ll have a great holiday season!

      Liked by 1 person

  • You’re right let it go! My mom and I do not get along at ALL!!!! I’ve cried for years and longed for that connection. Then I learned I don’t want it from her but from a mother figure. I let her go years ago.
    Yes girl get yo ass out the ring! Not worth it!
    I needed this word!

    Liked by 2 people

  • Oh, my trE, this is so heartbreaking and I truly understand you expressing your emotions verbally and courageously because girlfriend you have to unload some stuff that’s trying to suffocate your mind, body, and spirit. I think expressing this in the manner that you have is so liberating. I know you love your mother, but you can’t change her. She has to do that. Just pray for her, because you realize that time is too precious and life is so fragile.

    Girl, you made me laugh…from Greensboro to Winston Salem? Literally down the street? I live in North Carolina too, so I know the distance. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œπŸ€£ This isn’t funny but you are not even 30 minutes away? Girl, I know what you’re feeling. Many years ago I heard Bernice King speak and the one thing she said that resonated with me (mind you this was back in the late 80s) was not about her father MLK, Jr., but this:
    “I would rather be by myself and know “who” I am than to be around others and forget “whose” I am.”

    God bless you girl. πŸ™πŸΌ Let the shackles fall as they may. Enjoy your holidays! βœ¨πŸŽ„πŸŒŸ

    Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly, Kym! I’m not far at all. But I live closer to Clemmons, so it’s like 45 minutes or a little less. It was just so EXTRA, and I said to myself, “Not tonight. Not anymore.’

      Thank you! I appreciate it. I truly do.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Girlfriend, hang in there. Just know that you are not the only one dealing with dysfunctional issues from the ones we love, especially family. But we do know that there is something we can do about it that won’t take away our joy and peace. I see that you have already done that. Peace & blessings my friend! Have a merry holiday weekend! πŸŽ„πŸ™πŸΌβœ¨

        Liked by 1 person

  • trE

    Oh No! About Mom. Dare I venture further.

    What the hell, into the breach. First of all you made the right call. You don’t need the kerfuffle or confusion.

    The bad news; forever and repeatedly; be it twenty minutes from now, 20 days, or two decades removed from this inciting incident, you gonna doubt your decision.

    My advice. Don’t doubt.

    Is it just that simple? Of course not. But then again…

    The truly smart and caring person, both of which you are,
    are subject to always thinking that if they had just handle a troubling circumstance with a bit more finesse all would be different.

    The true delicacy of your decision was your ability to say β€œenough.” Even to Mom.


    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you. It just floored me because it was so out in left field. This isn’t something that just sprung up as a last minute thing, we’d already planned for it.

      I respect her decision, and I have moved from that. I have to set boundaries. The energy she gives most times is hard to endure and over the years, I’d just been enduring it. I just can’t anymore. My body sort of shut down, you know?

      Thank you, again.

      Liked by 2 people

  • There is no way that your Mom is ever going to change now trE and I think you are taking a brave stance on this. All you can do is respect her as your Mom and cope with the situation in a mature and loving way. Make sure you speak to her on Christmas Day and wish her well. Love and hugs to your and Jernee and I hope you have a blessed and relaxing break over Christmas and the New Year. πŸ’œπŸ€—

    Liked by 2 people

  • I have sooo much to say on this one. You already know. We can love people from a distance and hold on to our boundaries as well. It’s not fair to allow people to emotionally drain us as they live their happy life unaware of the turmoil they’ve caused. I’m learning to accept that I can’t change how people love me BUT I can change the access they have to me. I love you always, Tre!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Amen to all of this! I realized a couple years back, I have the behaviors I have toward fear because I’ve seen how my mom handles certain things, and I am just like . . . no! That is no way to live. That is no way to love. I just can’t anymore.

      I love you, too, cousin. Happy Thursday!

      Liked by 2 people

  • You cannot help those who do not help themselves, ESPECIALLY if they keep slapping your helping hand. I’m glad you’re keeping away from negative energy even when it’s coming from someone you love so much. You’re incredibly self-aware, so you know when writing (even though you love writing so much) would bring you down rather than lift you up – for that, you deserve kudos! Wishing you and the Little Monster a joyful Christmas in your cozy home. πŸ’›

    Liked by 2 people

  • Wrapping you and Jernee in holiday hugs. This post is full of wisdom. So sorry your mother gets caught up with this thinking. One of my sisters tries to drag the rest of us down. She’s getting worse. Time to act. Hope 2023 brings you everything good.

    Liked by 2 people

  • I am sad to learn about your cancelled holiday plans. I understand how hurtful that can be. I hope you find alternative plans that bring you joy and peace. That is what matters most. ❀️ I also hope sharing your disappointment in the way that you did helped you to release some frustration. It seemed like it-your conclusion was quite powerful!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi, Michele!

      Yes, it helped! I’ll still be going to my cousin’s house on Christmas Eve, so Jernee & I will be with them most of the day.

      On Christmas, I’ll still cook and enjoy my meal as I have planned. I’ll also watch my favorite Christmas movies all day long, rest, relax, and be grateful for life and the things I have and the love around me.


      Liked by 3 people

  • I felt every word you spoke , my Friend. My relationship with my Mother was very similar. Unfortunately, she passed away before we could reach that place where she was not constantly battling me and the real bond I longed for. But like you I had decided that I was not going to invite anyone’s negative energy into my body, mind, or home. So I gave her whatever space she needed and acknowledged every excuse she gave. I stopped engaging in the battle. I admit that I still suffer from the pain of knowing that I can never give her the love I have always had for her because she lives on the Other Side now. So I pray for her and wrap my family and friends in that love for her sake. Sending you and your Mother LOVE and PEACE in remembrance of my Mother in Heaven. Praying for everything you hope for this Christmas and in the New Year. β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸŒŸπŸ™πŸΎ

    Liked by 4 people

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