Home Is Where Everything Is

Pandemic Reflections

I have become glutinous; sticking to my home — fearful of going too far away from it. I question every errand that needs attention. How important is it? How much longer can I go without it? Is the purchase cost-effective enough to simply have Instacart drop it off after I fill up my cart via my favorite stores instead? Do I really need to go to the store myself?! Do I?!

I am growing indecisive during this pandemic season and I know it has a lot to do with how scary this virus is and how massive it has become.

I went from a woman working in an imaging facility, screening patients for COVID-19 symptoms to yearning for a workspace from home and actually attaining that and now . . . Now, home is more than just where I work — home is everything. Everything is here at home.

I still get anxious but not nearly as bad as I did on days I knew I had to be in the public eye — around other people. It’s easier to curb my anxiety . . . I have a bit more control over it. I can subdue it and move forward and do what needs to be done on a daily basis.

At home, I am not running away nor do I have the urge to run away from my fears. But I do recognize the magnitude of what has taken place. I am cognizant of the fact that it could be me, my family, or a close loved one (again) pushed toward their demise from this virus.

Home is where I sit with the neverending debate going on in my head; “do I get vaccinated or not?” Currently, there is no winner. I think there will be one soon.

Two of my succulents; re-potted and were temporarily placed directly in front of my balcony door. I’ve since moved them to be alongside two more of my plants. Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

After one year of dealing with the pandemic, I am learning how to be easier on myself. I have new ways to bring joy into my life. I find peace in the simplest things and I hold on to it. I have taken a liking to plants, succulents in particular, as they were a gift to me from my team at my previous job.

I talk to my plants. I name them. I open the blinds in the living room and kitchen and let the love from the sun’s rays wash over them. I water them. I check their soil and preen and primp them. I am ensuring the health and wellness of living things other than myself and my dog, Jernee.

It feels good.

It feels like an accomplishment I did not know I needed to accomplish. It feels essential.

I have what I need . . . Food. Water. Shelter. Books. Laptops. Music. A bossy Chorkie who cuddles with me on cold nights and gives me wet-nosed kisses that turn into paw pats on my face — everything is here at home.

After one rigorous year of quarantine, various mandatory restrictions, and only visiting my closest loved ones every few months, I have a hard time envisioning what the next year and the year after that will have up their sleeves.

And will I be able to remove myself from home? Will I lose the adhesive I’ve grown fond of relying on when I can stray far away once again?

Will I even want to?

This story was written in response to Medium’s Writing Prompt: Pandemic Reflections:What Comes to Mind When You Think About the Pandemic Anniversary?

Originally published on Medium.

10 thoughts on “Home Is Where Everything Is

  • It sounds like you have an awesome space, filled with love and light. A place you enjoy and appreciate. Hell, no need to go back to “normal” when you can be better.

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  • I got my first jab a week ago (Astra-Zeneca), it gave me flu-like symptoms for a day but I see it as one step closer to being able to to visit my son and his family in France. 😀👍

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    • I’m glad you’re all vaxxed up, Kyt! Here’s hoping you’ll remain protected and will definitely be able to visit your family!

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  • I’m glad you have your sanctuary. I worked from home for a year. Only started back at work 2-3 days a week from last week. I was surprised how nice it felt to be ‘normal’. Even though I was adamant they would have to drag me out moving and screaming. It’s a little different here in Australia though, very low to no community transmission. We are lucky. Stay safe.

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    • Australia has things under control. That’s more than I can say for the US. It’s totally outta control here. *Sighs* Thank you, Lisa.


  • Glad you have an appointment. They’ve just started vaccinations in Australia. Not sure when our turn will come, but we have been extremely fortunate here.

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    • I’ll be getting my first dose on 03/08/21. Just scheduled it yesterday. I’m terrified but I’m also tired of my organization politely forcing us to jump on board and get vaccinated. Gonna do it and be done with it.

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