spaghetti strap-sized scoldinggirls used to get sent home fortheir sunburnt shoulders why would we make it so easy to oglewhy would we make it so worth looking at how often were we taught thatsomeone else’s wandering gazewas our fault
I know so many women who’ve found themselves in this predicament. They’ve stayed so long with their partner(s) they’ve forgotten how to live on their own and they’re willing to remain in that relationship, regardless of how they’re being treated because it’s all they know–it’s all they’ve allowed themselves to know. And the fear of failing outside of the relationship scares them more than dying within the relationship ever could.
I’ve had to leave a couple friendships because the toxicity of what they were used to seeped into the seams of who we were. It’s harmful. It’s hurtful. And it’s a hindrance on their lives and the lives of others. Sadly, no one can force them out of their situations. It’s something they have to find the strength and belief in themselves to do.
It’s something they have to believe they’re worthy enough to do.
I can only stand by and love them as I know how. I can only support them in their efforts to become better as much as I can. But I’ve learned to remove myself from situations that are out of my control and I draw the line when I’ve noticed how hard one’s efforts can be especially when they’re ignored or avoided.
I can only wish them well when nothing else works and love them from afar.
A poem by the lovely Jennifer Patino. Let it sink in. Allow it to marinate for a moment in your bones. However you spend this day, I hope you do it safely and with more awareness than you should probably have.
Please go to the original poem to “like” and “comment.” Her words deserve that. Peace and blessings.
My kid sister probes me for information. She needs to know more about me. Our upbringing was an odd one. I’m more of a mother-figure to her than a big sister; with 19 years separating us, she “ma’ams” me rather than “Ooh, girl” or “Child, pleases” me and it just seems weird.
She urges me to open up, to share, but I’m not really the type to complain more than I need to or give more of me than I should. I’ve learned who to shed skin with and who not to and this isn’t to say that my sister isn’t to be trusted, no, that’s not it. I’m just . . . careful now.
I want to vent sometimes to her, I want her to hear me when I’m in distress, yet there’s this overwhelming feeling to protect her too even if it’s from me. She assures me she’s old enough to digest what I dole out but I’m hesitant.
I’ve lived a far different life and my demons tend to follow me along my sacred paths and my sister is still growing, still learning. I don’t want her to know the me that drives people away. I’m still working on that me. I need her around.
I’d hate for her to be one more person I find myself chasing after; another heart to grip. People want you to strip bare, stand naked before them, but many of them aren’t ready for the curves and folds and two-toned skin. They just want to see more of you even if more of you isn’t beautiful.
It’s one more thing they can hang over your head, dangle like a dagger, cut you to the quick. I’m trying. I swear, I am. I ask her to be patient with me, to understand — I have a way and my way is comforting. I can’t be rushed.
She understands. Thank God in heaven. She understands.
SP Reisreached out to me just this past week and after I reviewed her profile onMedium, it was a no-brainer to add her toA Cornered Gurl. She is direct, concise, poignant, and rhythmic in her delivery. Her debut poem has all of this and more. You’ll see why I did not hesitate to add her to our community as a contributor. Opening, her first contribution to us, is below.
How to speak of sexuality
Every beginning comes from an opening. The bravery to trust in creativity and, give love sacredly.
If Moses parted the Red Sea, then the watery space in between found home in the opening of women from which life gives and receives freely.
If the earth was born of explosion, then it was born from conspiracy by chemicals to dive at a chance encounter with an opening of trust.
So if you talk to me about sexual wanting do not speak without the words open, sacred, trusting and free.