Esther sent an email to me to become a writer for A Cornered Gurl because she had a piece in her drafts that she thought would be perfect for the publication and it was–it is. I have been reading Esther for at least a year now and with every post shared to Medium, she shows that her talents reach far and wide. She can do fiction, poetry, creative non-fiction, and micropoetry.
I am sure these are probably just a few of her actual literary abilities. When she’s writing, you’re reading. It’s hard not to. And for this, she is the featured writer for October. And now, the piece:
To The Man Who Told Me I Wasn’t a Feminist
“You can’t be a feminist. Feminists are anti-Christian and anti-men. That’s not you at all.”
I was in university. I must have been about 21 or 22. I was attending a campus Christian group/club when the topic turned to feminism. I mentioned that I considered myself a feminist. You and the woman who was leading the group turned shocked looks toward me and proceeded to tell me that a “real” Christian cannot also be a feminist. It was mostly you talking, but the woman nodded along and agree with everything you said.
To be honest, I don’t remember much of your reasoning because I wasn’t really listening. I was so shocked at what you were saying that I just stared at you with my mouth open. I probably looked like a fish. You probably thought you taught me something. You did.
I grew up in the church, so you might be surprised that I hadn’t encountered such blatant religious sexism before. I suppose I had, but it was mostly coming from old people like my dad (you were about my age), and never from women (at least not in my hearing). I was baffled that any person my age could think that a Christian couldn’t be a feminist — at least while continuing to be a Christian — and horrified that a woman could agree. I guess I had lived a sheltered life.
I had known you for a few months at this point, and I had a respect for you as the leader of the group. I lost all respect for you.
You taught me that I couldn’t trust a man just because he is a leader. You taught me that I couldn’t trust a woman just because she is a woman. You taught me that some young, university-educated Christians still believe in stupid, outdated sexist ideas. You made me even more determined to call myself a feminist.
You see, your mistake was in thinking that just because I’m a woman that I will listen to you. I don’t like to do what I’m told to do or be what I’m told to be. Like my Biblical namesake, Queen Esther, I will walk into the king’s court uninvited and ask for justice for my people. “And if I perish, I perish.”
Originally published in A Cornered Gurl via Medium.
I thoroughly agree. Both of your assessment of this wonderful poet, and the points made in her article.
I faced this too, to some degree–and wait till I tell people I am both politically liberal AND a Christian–watch their heads spin.
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People can be a pain, if we let them. Thank you for reading her here, Christina!
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Oh this is really, really good. I’m heartily glad she wrote it.
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I am too! She’s an incredible writer. Thank you for reading, Barry.
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Anyone who comes out with stuff like that is going against the tide! HE’s in for a lot of backwards swimming! 😀
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Haha. Yes, Ogden! That’s a total truth, right there!
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The first line annoys me. A lot. That being said, this is a very powerful writing. I am very happy that Esther submitted this piece and that you shared it. This is definitely something that everyone should read, especially leaders, spiritual or not.
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Typed too fast. I meant this line: “You can’t be a feminist. Feminists are anti-Christian and anti-men. That’s not you at all.”
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I understood what you meant, but thank you for clarifying 🙂
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I agree with you, TIen! Thank you for reading!
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A powerful piece indeed!
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Yes! Peter, there was no way I was not going to publish this in A Cornered Gurl via Medium. It speaks volumes. Thank you for reading!
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